very angry/violent/hyporactive 6year old help!!

(4 Posts)
carolyn1989 Sun 02-Sep-18 16:31:49

hello there i have 2 children DD(11) and DS (6) i love them both more than anything in the world but some things need to change! i have been having trouble with DS sad he can be such a loving boy from time to time but most of the time he is angry,violent and rude! there isn't a day that goes by where he dosent hurt his older sister, my boy frightens me! he gets very physical if things dont go his way for example my daughter is at that age where she would just stay in her room she asked me one day if she could go upstairs to watch telly... not a problem so of she went 5mins later i heard the biggest scream i ran upstairs and i witnessed my 6year old punching the hell out of her head whilst she was curled up in a ball against her wardrobe i couldn't believe my eyes where on earth is this all stemming from, of course he denies it all!!! i literally tread on eggs shells around him incase i say something that is offensive to him! he has even started acting out at his grandparents threatening to hurt grandma even threatened ti hurt grandmas dog!! i just want my loving nice boy back.....its like all of a sudden he hits 10! and cannot bring himself back down to 1... he gets very hypoactive to the point where i cannot control him! the violence has got to stop if he is very angry and shouting sometimes he cant find his worlds so he just swears really bad sad i surely cannot be the only one going through this my partner well he dosent get to see this side to him much as he works 14hour days sometimes all weekend too if im honest im glad when i go to work so i can have peace ( i know that sounds bad sad i just dont know what to do anymore he dosent care who he is with or where!! he will act up whenever wherever he scares me sometimes i cant even go places anymore because i am so scared on how he will be as i get embarrassed as i cant control him, the violence has got to stop! he often gets mad for no reason or for something so small and petty (Ava has her channel on or Ava has more milk than me) hes broken numerous amounts of my furniture in rage!! they get everything from me if not more!! i just dont see what his issue is does he have a medical problem i have not got to the doctors as i need enough evidence ive wrote every outburst down in my book please does anyone have any advice? thank you

OP’s posts: |
carolyn1989 Sun 02-Sep-18 16:32:32

she always goes up to her bedroom sad i feel for her dont get me wrong they can play so nicely together but most of the time he gets mad because he cant get his won way its getting so silly for example ( nathaniel go get your pyjamas , he will then go no! and get his sister to get them its like he thinks he is the boss of the house it dosent help that my partner works so much and dosent see what he is like most times! right now they are both colouring nicely together which to be honest wont last long for much longer, we had a outburst yesterday of him not getting his won way with his sister and next doors 2 girls so he threw a paddy and got really nasty calling them all little idiots and trying to grab them by the arms i keep saying time and time again it is not acceptable to hurt anyone and certainly not ok to hurt girls his answer 'ill do what i want if i want to hurt girls i can' everything is so wrong i hate to bring this up but in my old relationship i was abused by a man for 11months and swore if i ever had a son i would try my best to bring him up right and to treat women with respect etc but i feel like im failing sad im going to book a appointment with the GP but if im honest im scared im going to thobbed of as alot of people use adhd/autism alot in the uk to just put a label on their naughty kids i dont want a easy life (well i do abit) but i just want to help my son i dont want him to be a evil boy that everyone will hate....

OP’s posts: |
carolyn1989 Sun 02-Sep-18 16:33:32

its so hard because my daughter is perfect she does as she is told she has the kindest heart and is never naughty she is like a mother hen half the time i feel sorry for her she will be under enough stress and pressure within the next few weeks as she has her 11+ tests coming up a PGL trip where if im honest she will be glad to get away for a few days with the school , it will be her birthday at the end of the month and if im honest i am dreading it because nathaniel will have something to say about her presents like 'shes got more than me etc' just spoilt things he is never happy always looks miserable he cant even wind down when its bed time hes still up 2hours later from putting him to bed making stupid sounds of trying to get our attention by asking for a cuddle or a drink or a biscuit i feel hopeless ( my friend asked me if i would try herbal remedies like calm relaxers for him) but i am not sure? would it help?

OP’s posts: |
MumUnderTheMoon Sun 02-Sep-18 21:15:54

You wouldn't accept anyone else beating your daughter so you cannot accept this. When he is calm talk to him about hurting people when he is in the throws of temper he won't be able to explain why he is acting the way he is. I would also get on to social services about behaviour management as well. Your priority must be your daughters safety, you know what it is like to be abused in your home and you cannot let this happen to her. Teach her to walk away from him, maybe some self defence classes so that she feels empowered do not let him away with anything, do not tread on eggshells, he needs to learn that you are in charge not him. I also suggest allowing your daughter a lock on her bedroom door so that she feels that she has somewhere safe to go.

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