Suggestions of resources for parenting child with possible ADHD

(10 Posts)
Magcitrate Thu 30-Aug-18 16:08:46

Not sure if DS has ADHD but his not listening is killing me and creating lots of conflict.

I thought I might read up on parenting techniques of ADHD kids to see if any of the strategies worked with him. It can't help.

Any book/web suggestions?

Thanks so much

OP’s posts: |
BlankTimes Thu 30-Aug-18 18:06:19

Additude has loads of info.

BlankTimes Thu 30-Aug-18 18:12:57

It's often not 'not listening' but actually a problem with processing what's been said.
Maybe you need to break down instructions into simpler phrases, try one at a time, wait for a response or action, give another simple instruction , wait, etc.

Read up on executive function and processing speed. Both (and more) should be tested at assessment.

Magcitrate Thu 30-Aug-18 21:27:17

Thank you - would 'not processing' be an issue if he was excelling at learning at school - which he is? I find it all so confusing

OP’s posts: |
LadysFingers Thu 30-Aug-18 22:21:46

Yes, processing can still be an issue even though they excel at school! DD2 got all As and A*s in her GCSEs; but she does not understand conversations, books or films! She worked three times harder than her school friends, and she is very bright! However, the effort by A level was exhausting for her and she lived on filter coffee to stay awake to achieve it.

The problems get more apparent, the higher they go up through school. Primary is not too much of a problem for a bright child; secondary demands more by way of complex language, planning, remembering where to go and what to do and with what equipment....

DD told me she never had any idea what to do in science experiments. She switches off in conversations, with anything more than short answers to her questions. She switched off as the teacher told them what to do. She then asked her classmates what to do. They explained, but she switched off again. She asked her classmates what to do again - they got annoyed with her and refused to explain again! She was left with no clue what to do!

There is no point getting annoyed with them for not following instructions - it could be poor attention and/or poor processing and/or poor working memory.

Is there a subject that bored you rigid at school? For me, it was physics. I could barely force myself to get through GCSE. If I had to sit through degree level physics lectures, I would be so bored with it, way over my head and beyond my ability to be interested, I would switch off! That's how conversations or books or films are for them, and getting cross with them, does nothing to solve the problems they have! I just never did physics at university, because adults get to choose to avoid things, they are useless at. Children don't have that choice - with SEN children, we need to enter their world and imagine what it's like for them.

Magcitrate Thu 30-Aug-18 22:32:58

That's really helpful, thanks. Currently, at nearly 8, he seems to take part in conversations well, tells us what was said, reads a fair few books and enjoys them, watches lots of films and enjoys them. I guess time will tell if this is ADHD we are dealing with, or something else.

OP’s posts: |
Magcitrate Thu 30-Aug-18 22:34:51

As for breaking down instructions, we keep it really simple: don't put your legs over the side of the boat. He still does it. Over and over. So hard to know if it's wilfulness or something else

OP’s posts: |
MumUnderTheMoon Thu 30-Aug-18 22:38:14

When you tell him not to do something do you explain why? If he does have a developmental disorder then he may not be able to understand the motivations of other people and therefor think that what you are saying is arbitrary and therefore not worth listening to.

Magcitrate Thu 30-Aug-18 22:40:23

Yes, we'll say 'it's really not safe, you might slip into the water or another boat might hurt you.' That's pretty specific, no?

OP’s posts: |
MumUnderTheMoon Thu 30-Aug-18 22:50:18

Yes just a thought.

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