Dyspraxia advice please

[Gcalgske]

So I made a joke the other day (in poor taste granted) when I was at the park that I thought I was borderline dyspraxic (as I tripped up over my own feet for the 25th time) my sister who is an experienced teacher and now working in SN support said she’s wondered about me before and then we both looked at DD1.

She has good fine motor skills, can write and draw, generally bright but gross are really bad. She can’t run well, can’t ride a bike or a scooter, falls over a lot, can’t catch a ball or throw it where she would like it to go, takes forever to eat, fidgets constantly, finds physical instructions really hard to understand.

I’ve done a few online quizzes (obviously not diagnostic but the sort of “if you answer yes to more than 6 out of 10 go to the Dr” type things and she scores high as do I.

I have a 1 yo DD2 who is so different to her older sister. She’s physically confident and throws herself about, climbs and generally gets up to mischief.

DD1 is very anxious and scared to try things but I’ve always blamed myself for that at I have PTSD but wondering if it’s more to do with this?

I always felt as a child my brain and body didn’t connect right where as my hubby is incredibly physically literate and sporty. He doesn’t want to ‘label’ her and gets frustrated at her when she for example fails to ride her bike properly (even with stabilisers she can’t pedal forward). Any good resources or sites we can read together? This is worrying me.

[BlankTimes]

See your GP and ask for a referral to a Paed.
Books by Madeleine Portwood are a good source of info " Developmental Dyspraxia, A guide for parents and professionals " as are online sources like dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/about-dyspraxia/dyspraxia-glance/

You seriously need to get your DH on board.
He doesn’t want to ‘label’ her
It's not a label, it's a medical diagnosis done after lots of appointments and tests.

and gets frustrated at her when she for example fails to ride her bike properly (even with stabilisers she can’t pedal forward)
Yes, getting frustrated with your own child's inabilities to carry out a task (because there's a reason you refuse to acknowledge) is great parenting isn't it?

[Gcalgske]

To be fair to him he doesn’t express his frustration towards her, he’s a very kind and gentle dad and he’s worried about giving her a complex if there isn’t an issue.

[BaronessBlonde]

How old is your DD?
Generally, Dyspraxia is not diagnosed before 5 to allow time for development.

If she's older and struggling with a lot of functional skills- balance, co-ordination, throwing and catching, organisational skills etc. then an OT assessment is probably indicated.
That would identify if there is a significant movement difficulty.
If there is something there, then the OT should be referring you on to GP/Paediatrician to confirm Dyspraxia...a medical assessment is essential to rule out anything else that might be going on.

If you look up the DCDQ - it's a research based screening questionnaire- it will give you a clear result to say whether or not she falls in the range for at risk of DCD.
(DCD= Developmental Co-ordination Disorder, which is the technical term for dyspraxia).

As for DH; it's not uncommon for dads one parent to struggle with seeing the child have a difficulty.
But no-one would suggest that a child with poor eyesight should do without glasses if they needed them. So if there's a movement problem there, why should she do without support?

Look at the McMaster University (Canada) website which has lots of research based info on DCD.

[5000KallaxHoles]

Typed a post last night and MN seems to have eaten it.

Sounds very very like DD2 who pretty much has the diagnosis of dyspraxia/DCD (they tend to flit between the two depending on who we're seeing that day around here still) - should get officially confirmed by the start of next month as we just need the other possible neurological causes ruled out next paeds appointment. She's 5 1/2 - and we started down the route to a diagnosis at the start of last academic year when she was still 4.

DD2's fine motor skills appeared OK initially to us - she'd play with lego, playmobil and lots of tiny little figures and the like for hours. Will colour in and draw quite happily and "write" reams and reams - but when we've looked closer - her hand strength is really poor, and her spatial awareness is all completely out of whack - so although she writes - she can't place letters on the page correctly and the words all clash together and go over the top of each other and round the edge of the page and off onto the table , and things like zips and buttons, and especially press studs she really can't cope with. Her gross motor skills are all completely out of whack and it's only recently she's cracked the pedalling motion on a bike (and pedalling while steering is NOT happening yet). Her sequencing and following instructions and general organisation is all completely out of whack too - and it's affected her speech fairly badly too.

We pushed the diagnosis route early but factor into that that we're only at an infant school so I wanted it diagnosed and any adaptations in place in very very good time for a transition to junior school.

She's not developed any complex from going to see doctors and paediatricians - we're seeing an occupational therapist at the moment and she just thinks that's an absolute hoot because she gets to play with a load of sensory stuff, roll on gym balls and pull herself round the room on a skateboard thing (she's got low muscle tone and really poor core and shoulder strength as well as everything else). Speech therapy's a bit duller for her (I really do not rate the therapist we've been landed with - she's dreadful and just blatantly does not want to be there) but the mcflurry on the way back makes that something she looks forward to as well. I videoed a lot of the gross motor skill stuff that concerned me so we didn't have things like her being asked to walk around in front of people and getting worried about that.

We've had some issues with DH not quite seeing how much she struggles and how far it's starting to impact her in school, and we had a bit of a row recently that he didn't see why she needed more speech therapy as "she's not that bad" - when she flipping well is. He can sod off on that one though because I'm not going to make her struggle when we can alter things to make her life easier for her.

[Gcalgske]

I spoke to my little spud about it today. She’s five (6 in December). I asked about riding her bike and she said she knows what we are telling her to do and what she wants to do but her body won’t do as she tells it which is really sad.

I’m going to speak to the GP.

I’ve done the DCDq (thank you Baroness) and she comes out at probable.

I remember feeling like that. Tbh I sort of withdrew from sports and activities as soon as I could and viewed myself as an intellectual person. Sports weren’t for me. I learned to ride my bike late (aged 9) but then forgot how to ride it (we moved house hundreds of miles and my bike didn’t get taken and then wasn’t replaced for 3 months and I had to go back to stabilisers)

I don’t want that for her so I need to get on this.

Thank you.

[5000KallaxHoles]

I found it very helpful before I went to the GP to just quietly get video of things like walking, running, stair climbing on my phone. Otherwise if they're anything like DD2 they'll get asked to walk along and do it bloody perfectly as they're completely concentrating on wondering why some random person's making them walk along the corridor for them whereas more "natural" evidence was really useful to have to hand. I also had examples of things like handwriting where her spatial issues and controlling the pencil direction and pressure were really really evident. But our GP is one where you have to pretty much have utterly overwhelming evidence to get a referral anywhere (and I think I scared him a bit with how organised I was).

[BaronessBlonde]

Good luck Gcal.

That "forgetting" skills is very DCD- often skills are "context specific" so it looks as if the child is choosing not to try because "you could do it yesterday?!".
Or teachers interpret it as "not trying".

Best of luck with it.

[Gcalgske]

Went to the GP (without DD so we could chat) and she’s happy to put through a referral based on our concerns.