Please can I ask for your help

[mermaidsandunicorns]

Evening all. I know there is a wealth of knowledge here and need some help and a bit of a hand hold really. Ds 8 has severe behavioural issues he's on 2nd go at pathway assessment. Waiting for Camhs referral atm.

In October last year he was in local primary school and was getting excluded daily. His older brother was a massive trigger for him so he went to stay with my parents in nearby town and moved schools. He comes home on a Friday night to me and goes home on a Monday. The new school was much better for a while and a lot more patient. They were the ones who put the referrals in place which I was not able to access before.

However, slowly since October his behaviour has drastically got worse to the point now where he won't go to school at all. He stays in his room and just isolates himself. His meltdowns are increasingly violent and he has ruined walls and doors as well as violently attacking me and his brother.

We have a TAC meeting on wed and I know they want to push for him to come home as if this is the magic solution. I know it would only get worse if he got home. They want me to give up work to claim carers benefits in order to care for him. He's been referred to local specialist school where he can go in sep but this is 20miles away and I don't drive. I can't and don't want to give up work (various reasons which I won't go into but wouldn't be entitled to a lot of income related benefits) my mum has said she can't have him from September so the only option for him then would be foster care.

I feel so helpless and have no idea what to do

[BackforGood]

I think this is what the TAC meeting is for. To put heads together and make suggestions. Your child should not miss out on a place at Specialist provision (if that is what he needs) just because of the distance and the fact you don't drive. The TAC will look at that.
for you. This must be incredibly difficult.

[Sirzy]

If that is the closest School which can meet his needs then you should be provided with transport to get him there

[TigerBreadAddict]

Consider asking for a residential specialist placement

[mermaidsandunicorns]

We've had tac meetings before I found them very hard to be honest. I found myself talked over and I just don't feel that they have a grasp of the situation at all. Thankyou for replies tho xx

[mermaidsandunicorns]

I was going to agree to him coming home but I need respite support in place. We have a trial in our area for fast track asd assessment and he's been selected for that which is great. New school finishes at 1.30pm so not sure how that will work but I can't be only parent who works

[BackforGood]

You need to find someone to advocate for you then.
It can be a friend, or relation, or a professional.
Many charities have people that will do this.

Try NAS or Contact or MENCAP or SENDIASS (not a charity, but specifically set up to advocate for parents of children with SEN/D)