3.5 yo son still not talking -Autism ??

(27 Posts)
Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 20:44:21

Hi all ,
My son is just coming up 3 and a half and is still only saying singular words -we've been to speech therapy and they said keep doing what you're doing and referred him for an assessment to see if he's on the spectrum. A 12 month wait ! 😫 we'll see a multidisciplinary team in October . His red flags were not talking / not always answering name / running off / not taking direction & not interested in new ppl

He has no issue with change in routine , he's making slow progress by understating emoji flash cards I made him , much better eye contact and response to his name and saying new words all the time, he's affectionate and loves to have a laugh. He goes to nursery 4 afternoons a week and seems to enjoy playing there although not with other children . He does hit out if someone tries to take a toy or make him do something he doesn't want to do - we are no where near ready for potty training he's not interested and doesn't understand at all.

So anyway that's where we're at right now.

⭐️My question is -in peoples experience -has this sort of delay and behaviour ever NOT been Autism ? Or something else on the spectrum ?

I just wish I knew what was happening with my baby. I have another child who is nearly 5 and so articulate -such a wide vocabulary and so desperate for his brother to understand and play games with him other than chase and roaring and wrestling.

This is breaking my heart daily I love my boys so much and feel so scared about what the future holds .

Thanks in advance for any shared experience or comments xxxx

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abc12345 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:05:54

My son was similar at that age and it ended up being verbal dyspraxia with a bit of anxiety thrown in. I only found out what was actually going on after I paid to see a private salt. We saw her every week and started doing speech stuff every day at home and now he’s speaking.
Unfortunately all I got from the nhs was a couple of appointments a year and “keep modelling” type targets that did absolutely nothing to improve his speech.
The anxiety decreased as his speech took off.

Obviously this is just our experience...

Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:09:12

Thanks for your reply -I've looked into private but the cheapest I've found in my area is £70 an hour which we can't afford . And have been given the same modelling advise which isn't working.

Could you tell me anything you started doing differently at home that helped please -feel like we've hit a bit of a wall with there still being no conversation

Thanks x

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Cinnamus Mon 09-Jul-18 21:12:32

I agree that even without the diagnosis you could try specialist methods to help. You could do a PECS training course or Makaton. How many words does he have? Just nouns or nouns and verbs (actions e.g. look)? Does he point?

Cinnamus Mon 09-Jul-18 21:13:28

ABA methods work well.

Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:25:56

He literally just named stuff -points occasionally and sometimes will bring something to show me and name it or 'lion' 'octopus'

I've tried PECS but he's not interested-I'll keep trying though -and with Makaton we have our own signs we've used for years with him that he doesn't respond to -for things like 'more' and 'ok?' Yes and no

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Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:30:17

I've read a little bit about ABA but really wouldn't know where to start with him -at the moment I work 3 days a week and he's at nursery 4 afternoons so I get 2 mornings in the week with him -we play and I talk to him and he loves swimming and going to the park -in September he'll be doing 4 full days at nursery so I really want to work with him over the summer . Hard with a demanding 4 year old to entertain as well.

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Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:31:04

But summer is my chance to make a difference with him so I'm looking for any tips and tricks -new methods to try

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mamacheeks Mon 09-Jul-18 21:51:30

This is going to sound a little hippy, but it won't do any harm. My son was similar at 2.5. We were going down the verbal dyspraxia route and had had quite a lot of help from NHS SALT (depends on area). Then, on advice of a friend, we tried high quality fish oil, We used Eskimo oil (tutti frutti flabour from revital). DS1 had significant improvement in talking in a few days with fluency within weeks (although still lots of echolalia). When we finally got to a paed he said there was no proof of the effect of fish oil/ omega 3, but plenty of anecdotal evidence and one of his colleagues in Sweden insisted all children took the supplement during the wait for a diagnosis. Eventually DS1 was diagnosed with ASD. However, this hasn't been the dreaded outcome I might have imagined when he was 2 or 3. He has blossomed in mainstream school and has friends and enjoys football and swimming. He takes situations literally and struggles with a few things in life, but he's doing ok, and speaking is definitely not an issue. The oil isn't cheap, but I think we only took it for a month or so in the end. Good luck with everything and perhaps keep pushing SALT for more support? Ask for cancellations or drop-in sessions? I don't know if you're in London, but my friend went to somewhere called Christopher Place - it's a speech, language and hearing centre and I believe they let you pay what you can afford, but this is a while ago, so not sure.

Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:54:14

How weird I was literally looking at fish oils on amazon yesterday ! I will have a look for the one you've mentioned I'm willing to try anything thanks for that x
I'm in Devon where services are so stretched 😖

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Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 21:55:37

Mama cheeks -is this the one?? Photo attached X

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ALemonyPea Mon 09-Jul-18 21:58:01

My DS was very similar at that age. He didn’t start speaking at an understandable level until he was 5/6 years old, we found that simplifying our language to him, so two to three word sentences helped, as that was his level of understanding. Also, giving options of two thing to try get a verbal answer, like Apple or orange, or, crisps or cake. It’s a long slow process, but it did work. He’s nearly 13 now and can hold a short conversation, usually on one of his favourite subjects.

Coco2891 Mon 09-Jul-18 22:04:19

Thanks lemon -yes try and be very simple with language and offer options but he gets so frustrated and is really impatient 😣

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ALemonyPea Mon 09-Jul-18 22:12:30

It is hard, especially when they can’t get their point across it will get better. I found this age quite trying.

Ellie56 Tue 10-Jul-18 09:04:53

I've posted on your other thread Coco.

SparkleTwilight Tue 10-Jul-18 10:54:10

What is his understanding like? How does he communicate with you?

My son is 3.9 now and was diagnosed at 3.2 with asd. From what I’ve gathered, lots of children can have speech delay, but when there are difficulties with communication and social interaction, it is more likely to be Autism rather than just a speech delay.

My DS has limited understanding, can only answer very simple questions/names objects, obsessed with letters and numbers, he tends to echo words/phrases instead of using words to communicate with me.

Coco2891 Tue 10-Jul-18 11:13:58

His understanding is not great , he doesn't follow any direction at all really and communicates by pulling my hand to what he wants or screaming / crying . He is affectionate and gives me hugs and kisses tho 😔 so I take that as his communicating that he loves me back

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Ellie56 Tue 10-Jul-18 11:43:57

Loads of ideas and suggestions on this thread.


Try not to worry OP. flowers With you as a mum, ensuring he gets all the help and support he needs, I am sure he will be fine.

Coco2891 Tue 10-Jul-18 12:26:11

Thanks Ellie 😘 I've just made an appointment for a drop in at the centre he'll be assessed at so feel I've accomplished something this morning 🙂

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mamacheeks Tue 10-Jul-18 14:59:37

Sorry for delayed reply - yes, that's the one. It's good stuff and can't hurt, so worth a try and must taste nice as my boy was incredibly fussy (another clue to sensory issues) but took it happily.

Pomegranatemolasses Tue 10-Jul-18 18:46:23

My ds was very similar at that age. His language skills developed rapidly shortly afterwards, and he made huge progress.
He was diagnosed with ADHD at age 11, and is now a very articulate and popular 15 year old.
Best of luck with your ds.

Coco2891 Wed 11-Jul-18 00:09:18

Thanks pomegranate 😘 here's hoping !

And thanks mama I'm ordering some tomoz x

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Coco2891 Mon 16-Jul-18 09:56:46

mamacheeks the Eskimo oil cane today and I can't get him to take it 😖 not 2.5ml diluted either 😬😬😬

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HuntIdeas Mon 23-Jul-18 05:29:43

These have omega-3 and just taste like normal sweeties if you think he will take them instead. You can buy them in all supermarkets/chemists


I have no idea if the quantities of omega-3 are the same- maybe check the packet?

HSRPsychology Thu 26-Jul-18 16:12:58

Although this may not apply directly to your circumstances, there is a condition called hyperlexia which can sometimes be misdiagnosed/diagnosed alongside autism. Hyperlexia involves some of the indicators you mentioned e.g not responding to name. But the main indicator of hyperlexia is a reading ability well above that of their age group.

I know that this may not be applicable in your case but it's an interesting piece of knowledge. I'm sorry to hear about your long wait, but I hope everything goes well. smile

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