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Asd ds back in hospital, feeling hopeless

11 replies

EnglishRose1320 · 03/06/2018 07:42

Ds was in hospital a few months ago for self harm, anxiety and extreme disregulation, after 4 days on a new drug he was considered calm enough to go home. Home for a few months, far less violent and no self harm. Still very depressed, still not engaging in help or school. The drug caused lots of side effects so it was reduced. Aniexty starting going up again and so did the suicidal thoughts, so an anti depressants was added into the mix 2 weeks ago.
DS had an allergic reaction to the anti depressant which understandably terrified him, as a result he refused all his other medication, deciding all medicine was bad.
One week of going cold turkey on medicine and recovering from the reaction meant his aggression, self harm etc was back to square one if not a little worse.
So last Sunday we ended up spending another day with police and paramedics at our home, then being admitted to our local hospital. He has been in for coming up a week now and the first half of the week was horrendous. He was often restrained for long periods of time by security. He had to be given a new medication by injection until enough was in his system for him to calm and start accepting it orally. The last two days have been much better, but still only if everything is kept very much on his terms, very contained and with me by his side 24/7.
This is just a general children's ward and I know they are keen for my ds to go home. They have been great with him but medically he is fine now, mentally not so much. My biggest fear is he won't take his medicine at home, he has already said he won't. How do I get them to keep him as an inpatient until he is ready. Until he starts interacting with Cahms and Cahms actually has a plan for his return home. This is the second admission to a ward this year, he has also been to just a&e on a separate occasion, also had the police and paramedics out on another occasion but they calmed him at home, also numerous out of hours doctor's this year alone. It's not fair on him to be stuck in the loop.
Sorry this is so long and mainly just a rant, I just feel very useless, I feel like I am failing my son. He is zoned out because of medicine but is still an anxious wreck underneath who panics if a nurse has changed his bedding when he is in the loo. Or if I go to make a call. Has only accepted take aways or pre packaged food so the doctor's can't sneak medicine in his food. Regularly tells the nurses he knows how to make him better, they just need to let him die.

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OneInEight · 03/06/2018 12:34

Flowers

What a tough situation to be in. Whilst I can see a general children's ward is not the right place to get your ds the help he needs neither is sending him home if he is at serious risk of serious self-harm. My questions in the short-term would be does (i) he need 24 hour monitoring and (ii) would you be able to ensure he takes the medication if this is required to stop him from self-harming. If the answers to these are no then I would think you should refuse to take him home and ask for more inpatient specialised care. I appreciate this is easier said than done.

For ds2 we opted to take him off medication completely but this was an incredibly tough decision. We also were in an easier situation in that before he was on medication although he was very depressed and anxious he was not actively self-harming so we thought it was likely the medication was causing the problem. We were still left, of course, with a depressed and anxious child and although he has improved it has been a long journey and the problem is still far from solved.

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TAmum123 · 03/06/2018 16:11

We have had similar experiences with dd. On each occasion she was assessed by the on call psychiatric registrar, then by CAMHS to see if they felt she was safe to come home. On 4 occasions she was assessed as not safe - at 1 assessment she explained the plans she had for further attempts on her own life - and she was admitted to adolescent mental health units. She was there for a week the first time but the last twice she was there for several months. Lots of sympathy for you - she is 17 now and doing much years have been extremely traumatic.

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EnglishRose1320 · 04/06/2018 08:40

Frustratingly I just wrote a long reply and it vanished.
Today is the day he is reviewed, options on the table are to be sectioned and moves to a unit (very long wait times) to be kept on the ward until he agrees to a plan or to be discharged. I am fairly confident they won't section. I personally think they will push for discharge because 90% of the time he is calm, however he is adamant he will stop the meds as soon as he leaves.

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Didiplanthis · 04/06/2018 18:34

How did it go today ?

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EnglishRose1320 · 05/06/2018 10:28

He was discharged around teatime yesterday. Some positives are that he gets a review again in a week. They will call most days to check in and they are upgrading his ehcp (which we are still waiting for) so hopefully he will get a school placement sooner.
He has to take his first lot of medicine at home in half an hour so we will see how that goes.
Last night was rather stressful, several screaming meltdowns but no violence. His cat was missing and we had a power cut, because you know I didn't have enough to deal with!
He calmed down when some friends of ours went on a cat hunt and bought the pesky animal home.

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Didiplanthis · 05/06/2018 20:55

Hope the next few days go ok for you.

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EnglishRose1320 · 08/06/2018 09:16

Things are going okay. Everything still completely revolves around ds which I find exhausting.

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FrayedHem · 08/06/2018 20:45

I remember you from last year. Sorry to hear DS has been so unwell. I hope you start getting the support you need for him. Flowers

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notgivingin789 · 08/06/2018 23:08

Hi OP, where are you based ? I’m going to PM you.

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EnglishRose1320 · 08/06/2018 23:38

Thanks frayed hem, seems like yet again it had to get worse before it gets better but hopefully if everything they say is going to happen does he really should start getting what he needs.
Suffering with lots of side effects from the build up of medicine today so rather cranky and not asleep but on the flip side no self harm or attacking us.

Notgivingin I'm in the south west.

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FrayedHem · 09/06/2018 17:41

I hope you all managed some sleep and things are going o.k.

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