Posted this in preteens but might get more traffic here, hopefully.
Please bare with me it's a long post, I feel confused and worried and I don't want to come across as ignorant in terms of SN i'd just like some views on dd, if possible.
Dd is 8 (yr 3). She is very bright and high achieving. She hasn't formed any close friendships so far. She is among the top achievers in her class, however she has been in trouble for incessant chatting in class since year 2. Whislt she is eager to please she seems to have little impulse control. Hence won't be quiet even if told to be quiet in school.
These are the things that have had me thinking about Aspergers since she was 3 years old:
Haptic related:
- She is unusually sensitive to certain textures and tight clothing. She used to wear tights until year 1 but since then refuses to wear leggins or tights. (She will wear the same two pairs of jeggins though for the last 18 months ).
- Hates being creamed. She had Eczema from a young age, which required applying fatty creams which she squirmed about and hated, making a huge fuss. She still absolutely hates having anything applied to her skin. She gets very stressed if any cream needs to be applied.
- She cannot bear being tickled and literally freaks out when anyone tickles her ever so slightly. Of course we won't tickle her because of this but when her little brother occasionally does gently tickle her she becomes defenceless and 'freaks out'
- Clumsy using cutlery, messy handwriting (but excellent spelling, grammar and overall writing skills) messy eating habits much more so than her little brother who eats in a neat and tidy way. Has to constantly be reminded to chew with her mouth close, not lick fingers etc. She sort of constantly 'forgets herself'.
- On the other hand, she can draw really well.
- She learned to ride a bike when she was 3 and has always been extremely active and loves running and climbing.
Social:
- hasn't made any close friends
- plays with boys rather than girls (likes one girl outside of school currently)
- is not interested in playing with most her class mates but likes to play with very intelligent, sporty or creative kids she meets outside of school.
- always finds friends to play and run around with outside of school e.g playground, park, seek them out and responds to other children asking to play e.g. frisbee, ball etc.
- Little role play. Used to line up her ELC Little people and prefers arranging to actually role playing with her Sylvanians. Used to like playing with dolls until age 3.
- Whilst clearly very intelligent struggles bit with understanding games & rules.
- does often not seem to be able to read other people but can read me and her brother quite well.
- At home very caught up in her inner world, often won't reply when we speak to her (her dad and her dads sister are like this too, the sweetest people but not responsive)
- Set inner own ways (stubborn) but never argues and never had any tantrums
Communication:
- Whilst her writing is outstanding her spoken language is much less rich and not very expressive.
- Whilst chatting incessantly at school, doesn't talk that much at home as she rather reads a book or plays the piano.
- Comes across as over confident and is in fact quite competitive.
- Has no 'exaggerated' or intense interests.
She just doesn't seem to quite fit in and I am worried. People don't seem to warm to her as she can sound loud mouthed but she is the most gentle person on the inside. She genuinely does't seem to understand that interrupting is rude hmm no matter how many times I explain this.
Thanks for reading this epic post. Any thoughts? Please be gentle.