I think DS is dyspraxic - please give me advice.

(16 Posts)
listsandbudgets Fri 26-Jan-18 12:51:08

I'm crying just writing this sad
He's 5 1/2

He teacher thinks so too.

He's always bumping into things, falling over, can't get dressed without help, loses things and has difficulty following instructions with more than one step. Poor little boy gets so frustrated.

I know he's not like his peers and he knows too- he talks about how hard football is and how he hates playing outside in case he falls over. He says no one wants to be friends with him sad .

He may be dyslexic too - not so sure. I dread spellings coming home to be learnt - I'm usually the one who ends up shedding tears in private later because its like talking to a brick wall trying to help h. We can work on them every night and he'll still only get a mark of zero or one. His reading is "meeting expectations" though

I don't know how to get help. School SENCO said to ask the GP. The GP said to ask the school nurse. The school nurse told me to ask the SENCO. The SENCO and school nurse had a joint discussion and told me to talk to the GP... went back to the GP who said it was nothng to do with them and told me again to ask the SENCO.

I think we'll have to get someone privately, and I really don't know even where to start. Nobody seems to want to help him except me and his class teacher.

My poor little boy - he tries so hard. He's got an ace imagination. He loves maths especially mental maths. He's so kind and loving. He WANTS to learn and do well but he just can't and he gets so upset and so frustrated

So sad.Please wil someone help me?

OP’s posts: |
ObscuredbyFog Fri 26-Jan-18 14:34:21

See a different GP at the same practice.
Take a list of everything your son cannot do at all
Take a list of things he struggles with
Take a written statement of what you said above about being bounced around by GP, SENCO and School Nurse. Ask GP to put it in writing exactly who needs to make the referral for your son and how you need to facilitate that. Do say School are supportive because that's like gold dust, really.

Ask for a referral to a Pediatrician and an Occupational Therapist to assess his gross and fine motor skills, in some areas you can self-refer.

Maybe you're not coming across to the GP as it being such a huge struggle for your son. Make sure GP knows son can not do certain things which is way behind his peers.

In some areas, people say school should just provide any interventions a child needs. Find out from SENCO what the process is for getting your son an ECHP (read the SN boards to find out about these)

If all that fails - and it really shouldn't, go private as that will give help and interventions very quickly.

It's important you know many LAs will not accept private diagnoses but NHS can take up to 2 years to diagnose.

Ellie56 Fri 26-Jan-18 16:53:35

Go back to the GP (see a different one if possible) and tell him/her things are no better and ask for a referral to a paediatrician and occupational therapist.

Tell him it is becoming more and more obvious something is not right as your son cannot do what other children the same age can do. Tell him the school also have concerns, and that you and the school need specialist advice and input. Say it is now affecting your son's mental health and well being.

Could the school get an EP to come in and assess him?

MiaowTheCat Fri 26-Jan-18 18:11:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MiaowTheCat Fri 26-Jan-18 18:27:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

abc12345 Fri 26-Jan-18 18:29:06

I agree. Ask gp for referral to community paed and OT (I took the check list off the dyspraxia foundation website and a detailed letter from me with all his problems outlined so I didn’t forget any).

In our experience you get little or nothing useful from the NHS but you might get a diagnosis if you are lucky.

As soon as you can see a private ot that specialises in this sort of thing. This was v valuable for us because she helped pinpoint his exact problems and gave us things we could do to help (fine motor activities/ crossing the midline games/core strengthens etc). They may also be willing to go into school and then they can write a report detailing his struggles and what can help.

If he struggles with reading I would recommend seeing a behavioural optometrist

Judo has been great for coordination/strength/confidence

There’s loads of things that will help make things much better

Nettleskeins Fri 26-Jan-18 22:18:58

School should write letter with their observations and concerns. Take letter to GP, then GP should refer you to OT and Paediatrician. The Paediatrician bit is important to rule out any physical medical cause for the falling/clumsiness - ie bone weakness deficiencies hormonal issues. Dyslexia isn't usually diagnosed so early.

My son has dyspraxia and he was not diagnosed until he was 13, although issues from age of 8. School did nothing, ever, I had to make the referral happen. I diagnosed through NHS, but with a private OT report in hand first. He was in lowest centile for motor skills, 1 percent of population were as low as him. Yet never flagged up by any school as possibility.

In the meantime, Out of Synch Child and Out of Synch Child has Fun are wonderful encouraging books, full of good activities, which can only be positive interventions - don't hesitate to start on them. Write From the Start is a good book for handwriting (I think there is an earlier one but cannot remember) If necessary don't worry about the spelling and ask teacher to encourage fine motor skills in other ways than handwriting, ie beads, clay, lego, construction, throwing the ball games. Don't worry about football either, my sons are mad keen on it now, but only really managed to play in a group from aged 9, as it was too difficult before then, except in a really structured setting with more skills less game ifysim. Ds1 plays violin very well despite his dyspraxia, his handwriting is fine now, its only cutlery we still have problems with at 18 (this is obvious things, other issues still remain and always will)

BGD2012 Sat 27-Jan-18 11:45:45

I had the same issue with my son, I got batted about by all the services for years. Ask the school to write a supporting letter detailing your sons difficulties and take it straight to your GP and ask for a referral to an OT. My GP spent time asking me for difficulties at home, using cutlery etc. She also took a sample of his handwriting to send with the referral. She noticed that his joints were 'loose' and he had low muscle tone, by stretching his thumbs and limbs she recorded that he was probably hyper mobile.

listsandbudgets Mon 29-Jan-18 20:00:45

Thank you all so much for your brilliant replies. Its so good to feel that I've got people who understand how I feel AND can tell me what to do.

I got a nice surprise this afternoon. The school nurse phoned me. It seems that DS's class teacher tracked her down early this morning, insisted on her visiting DS in class to observe him for a bit and demanded to know what she was going to do about him.

Result - she's sent me a pile of questionnaires which she wants me to fill out, phoned me and explained she CAN refer through to relevant paediatric services and made an appointment for me and DP to see her next Monday morning complete with various questionnaires so she can discuss the way forward with us.

Right now I could kiss DS's class teacher - I know its only the first hurdle but at least I feel as if we are now making a bit of progress... going to grit my teeth and fill out the forms tomorrow - makes me feel sad that I need to but he needs help so we have to get it for him sad

OP’s posts: |
BGD2012 Mon 29-Jan-18 20:47:08

Oh that's really positive. Good luck!

listsandbudgets Mon 05-Feb-18 10:56:52


Saw nurse this morning who has looked at questionaires filled out by both us and class teacher and agreed there may be a problem. She's going to raise a referrel.

However, as she thinks this will take months to come through, she has also recommended someone from pupil support who can see him privately over half term and write a report making some early recommendations which the school will act on upon receipt. Oddly enough, the lady is someone we know as she's the gran of a friend of DD's but we never thought to ask. She's vastly experienced having worked in the field for 25 years - funny how you never see what's in front of your eyes! I've sent her a text message and she's already responded saying she remembers cuddling DS from when I used to bring him on school runs as a tiny baby and she's very happy to come and see him.

Starting to feel a lot better - at least something is happening now.

OP’s posts: |
listsandbudgets Mon 05-Feb-18 11:01:06

I've decided that depending on pupil support lady says, we'll also get an EP and possibly OT report done privately

Minor victory - he dressed himself except socks and trouser button this morning - jumper was on back to front, but it was a start

OP’s posts: |
MiaowTheCat Mon 05-Feb-18 13:12:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KisstheTeapot14 Fri 16-Mar-18 17:07:33

Hey there OP.

Saw your thread ages ago and meant to reply - how are things going?

I kept thinking of you, when you said you wanted to cry.

I have a lovely DS aged 8 with dyspraxia. SENCO had her eye on him from reception, and I went to GP and then was referred on to Paed. and DCD clinic. That was in Y1 and he is now Y3.

Its a bit of a rollercoaster for the whole family, and am still muddling through - wondering what the best options are as he grows up.

However, am much better informed about dyspraxia than I ever thought I would be, and the good folk of mumsnet have been a big part of that learning curve. Anyway, just checking in and if there's anything I can help with as a 'got the t shirt' parent, then I'm happy to chip in!

Throgglesprocket Thu 22-Mar-18 12:28:35

Hi there OP

Also another mum of a DD aged 8 (nearly 9) who has most likely got Dyspraxia, although it's now more commonly referred to as DCD apparently. We raised concerns with teacher over a year ago thinking ADHD, fortunately didn't have to jump through too many hoops to get referred (technically re-referred, but let's not go there just now!)

Also in Notts, so had the joyous task of completing the "getting to know me form", followed by an interrogation at home by a couple of people before it went to panel to see if you were actually eligible to be referred.

Paediatrician referred for an OT assessment who said on the day that DD would definitely be going back for some OT sessions, but that a diagnosis can only be given by the paediatrician.

DD is currently having the OT sessions with an absolutely amazing OT - she's even put DD down for a bike riding class. The only drawback is that you only get four full sessions before being discharged.

Now all we're waiting for is the paediatrician appointment at the end of April which might actually give us a formal diagnosis!

It's a definite roller-coaster, particularly with the frequent trips to A&E thrown in (lost part of a tooth last week as she went face first onto the ground at school). I always feel better when they ask where the accident happened and you can say "at school" - I'm sure I'll end up on some kind of watch list due to the sheer number of times she's been up at A&E!shock

MiaowTheCat Thu 22-Mar-18 12:40:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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