How do you "explain" your child to people?

(14 Posts)
Thisismynewname123 Mon 22-Jan-18 10:41:50

Such as, you're organising a party (explaining to a DJ that the loud/chaos will bother her), or you're meeting people who don't know you particularly well. In the past, pre-diagnosis, I would just say "she has issues" or "she can be challenging". But it doesn't always feel like I'm getting the point across. I don't want to say "she's autistic", because I think it will give an impression that she's less capable/socially aware than she is (and I don't want the response of "she seems fine to me"!). In the old days I would have said she has aspergers, but as that's not the diagnosis we have, it feels wrong to say. So what do you say? Use "Aspergers" even though diagnosis is ASD? Say "autistic" even though someone not close to these issues may have pre-conceived ideas of what that means? Or just continue with "she has issues" without labelling it?!

OP’s posts: |
AntiquatedUser Mon 22-Jan-18 12:33:28

I straight up says he's autistic. At a recent party the mum assumed he had learning difficulties and is currently in the speaking sweetly stage to him but that's much better than thinking he was a naughty child for being overwhelmed at a party. At a fun thing we do I've told the other adults he's autistic so if he gets overwhelmed they understand. There are also autistic adults who participate who are quite open about using autistic rather than Aspergers (I don't know they're diagnoses beyond that they have them).

I think people's pre conceived ideas about autism can be more helpful in understanding or how to react to a child with autism. I think in some ways Aspergers has entered the mainstream in a way that emphasises positives, for example an obsession that leads to a lucrative career, or being merely a bit blunt, and doesn't take into consideration the actual difficulties of people with Aspergers/autism.

I do question whether I'm taking the right approach, but currently I can't see another way which will adequately explain why and what kind of issues he has.

CaptainKirkssparetupee Mon 22-Jan-18 12:35:46

How very strange that you think saying "aspergers" is okay but "autism" isn't...

Thisismynewname123 Mon 22-Jan-18 12:54:41

I don't think it's ok and that "autism" is not ok. Aspergers isn't the diagnosis we have. I think that for people with little understanding, they will understand it fitting my child more than they would "autistic". Even the people who know us well, when I say we got the diagnosis of "autism", have said "Do you mean Aspergers or autism?". Well, the diagnosis is autism because aspergers is no longer diagnosed, but in old terminology, that is what it would have been. It just puts the context around where on the spectrum she would fall.

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CaptainKirkssparetupee Mon 22-Jan-18 12:58:40

It always would have been autism.

Thisismynewname123 Mon 22-Jan-18 13:06:23

It would always have been on the autistic spectrum, but I have friends who have children recently diagnosed, both privately (as opposed to my daughter's diagnosis on the NHS), and their private diagnosis was of aspergers, not autism. So both of these friends have questioned me when I have said the diagnosis was autism, rather than aspergers.

OP’s posts: |
CaptainKirkssparetupee Mon 22-Jan-18 13:11:03

Aspergers is autism.

CaptainKirkssparetupee Mon 22-Jan-18 13:12:01

This is why it's being phased out, because people don't understand what it is.

CaptainKirkssparetupee Mon 22-Jan-18 13:14:02

There is so much misinformation and pre conceived ideas about aspergers and autism in general, I just found it strange you want to use one over the other.

Aspergers is high functioning autism, they are the same.

Shineyshoes10 Mon 22-Jan-18 14:15:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ObscuredbyFog Mon 22-Jan-18 21:21:14

Most people have a misconception that the autistic spectrum is linear, with low functioning at one end and high functioning at the other, this will help them to understand it's far more complicated.

Allthewaves Mon 22-Jan-18 21:24:20

I say ds is higher functioning autism and thsee are the area he stuggles in

MysteryLovesCompany Mon 22-Jan-18 21:34:26

Me and ds both refer to ourselves as autistic, his dx is Aspergers, mine is ASD.

Until the ICD-11 comes out Aspergers is a perfectly acceptable diagnosis, it's just more recognised now that there isn't a clear distinction between what became known as Aspergers Syndrome and the rest of the autism spectrum.

Ellie56 Thu 25-Jan-18 09:52:09

I was told the difference between high functioning autism and Aspergers Syndrome was the person making the diagnosis.

My son was diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder 15 years ago. I've always told people he's on the autistic spectrum or autistic.

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