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I’m not sure if this is a big deal, but I just wanted to know how other SN parents would deal with it. My daughter has ASD and developmental delay, she is fairly sociable though and likes being around family. There have been a few times where two different mums from our family circle have deliberately gone out of their way to make their child do something that they know my daughter would find really difficult or may never be able to do, I know they have done it to highlight her needs and make me upset as they then seem to look on for a reaction. I have ignored ot so far but was wondering if next time I should speak up.
I would call them on it. Each and every time and directly and calmly ask them what they think will be gained by doing it and whether they feel bullying a child is acceptable.
If it's in a larger family group and other mums besides you and the two goady mums are there, then the nicer mums will see what the goady ones are doing, so you should have some support. Hopefully the nicer ones will say something.
I'd be inclined to ignore them so they become bored with your non-reactions and the nicer mums' comments should make the goady ones realise how idiotic they are being.
If it's only you and them, you can carry on ignoring them or you can pick your time to challenge them if you want to.
Plan what to say and decide exactly what outcome you want from saying anything, then go for it.
So sorry you have had this happen to you.