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Does anyone have a child who has almost grown out of asd ?

(13 Posts)
Naz786 Tue 14-Nov-17 11:11:42

Hello everyone.
I have a 5 year old boy who has started attending a mainstream school.he is in a mainstream setting with a bit of 121 support. The temporary teaching assistant has no idea of asd and is following instructions by the school I assume. Has anyone experience the same? School are puttin plans and reviews in place but I always thought he would be better off in a focus provision unit but we cannot find a place. A lot of people say he will get better and he will start to say more words and will grow out of Autism?

CaptainKirkssparetupee Tue 14-Nov-17 12:01:49

No he will not "grow out of autism", its a neurological disability, not an illness or a phase, no amount of forced and learnt behaviour will make him grow out of it.

However he will grow up, everyone does and he will most probably mature but he will always have autism.

Msqueen33 Tue 14-Nov-17 19:00:19

I don’t know who told you he would outgrown his autism but that’s insane! He will grow and develop but he’s always going to be autistic. My seven year old has changed a lot since that age and a lot of the time she passes as neurotypical but she’s not. She’ll always be autistic.

Ellie56 Tue 14-Nov-17 20:56:26

I am sorry, but you must be talking to some seriously misinformed people. A child with autism will become an adult with autism.

While it is true that with the right support and education, a child will develop and change and learn coping strategies, they will not "grow out" of autism; it is an integral part of who they are.

When my son with autism was 3, he had virtually no language, no social skills, exhibited bizarre behaviour and regularly had meltdowns.

When he went to school at 5, he still had poor language skills, no social skills and had no idea how to behave. He regularly lay down in assembly, refused to co operate in class and used to hit the staff and other children.

He was not diagnosed with autism until he was nearly 8. By this time the hitting and lying down in assembly had stopped, and he was conforming more at school, but we noticed his behaviour at home was much worse . It was as though he was only just managing to hold it together for the time he was at school and then all hell let loose when he got home. It didn't help that at that time his regular teacher was seriously ill, so the class was having one supply teacher after another - as you probably already know children with autism need routine and stability and to know what's going to happen in advance.

By the time he was 11, our son bore no resemblance to the little boy he had been when he first started school, although he still struggled with language, was emotionally immature and still needed a lot of support at school.

He went to a fabulous secondary school where they put in virtually 1:1 support and he settled really well in a very short space of time. Although he still found things difficult at school he did really well and all the behaviour problems we had up to then stopped. I believe this was because he was given the right support at school by people who understood autism and were experienced in this field.

As the years have gone by, we have met many challenges, but our son has continued to develop in his own pace. Mainstream FE was a disaster as the staff had no clue about autism and just expected our him to fit in with everyone else. Not surprisingly the placement fell down and our son was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 2 years ago.

He is now 22 and in a specialist college for students with autism. He is making fantastic progress, doing things I would never have thought would have been possible a few years ago. He has learnt to cook, he travels home on the train by himself, and is doing work experience dealing with the public.

I suppose someone from the outside looking in who knew our son as a child might think he has "grown out" of autism, but all that's happened is that it has become less obvious as a result of the education, training and support he has had.

But he still struggles to understand complex language, still has difficulties in social situations and will probably never live fully independently.

Msqueen33 Tue 14-Nov-17 21:04:59

@Ellie56 that’s a really lovely story about your son. It sounds like he’s doing brilliantly well you must be really proud.

HardAsSnails Tue 14-Nov-17 21:05:21

Autism is considered to be a lifelong developmental condition so on that basis you can't grow out of being autistic. An autistic child will become an autistic adult. Your child will make progress though and will surprise you :-)

Sometimes mistakes are made, eg language disorder or hearing difficulties might be mistaken for autism and when improvements are made what looked like autism disappears.

Naz786 Tue 14-Nov-17 21:10:41

Thank you so much for your reply. I really appreciate it. Your reply has really touched me, kind of tearful reading it, I’ve been through similar stuff when he was 3. You have grown up now, who can do a lot of things so it must be a relief. Is there any advice you could give me? My son copies a lot off tv and talks to himself a lot about things he sees on the tele. If you don’t mind can I ask does you son talk to himself now that he’s grown up. That concerns me a lot.

Msqueen33 Tue 14-Nov-17 21:22:43

My dd learnt a lot of Speech from stuff on the TV. But she has completely spontaneous speech at 7 so she appropriate. She does talk a little to herself but probably no more than her older sister who isn’t autistic. 3 is still so young and you’ll see so much change in him.

Ellie56 Tue 14-Nov-17 21:56:51

Yes we are really proud of him, and everyone who teaches or works with him falls in love with him. smile

Ellie56 Tue 14-Nov-17 23:10:25


Rather than post stuff on here that might identify us I have sent you a PM.

zzzzz Wed 15-Nov-17 21:10:45

Ellie56 thank you so much for telling us a bit of your story. It’s enormously helpful to hear others experiences and so few people post after primary years.

OP no he won’t grow out of autism any more than he would grow out of being gay or white or left handed. When he is older he might be able to hide it more easily, but I doubt it would do his mental health any good and it is unlikely to make him happy.

LightTripper Thu 16-Nov-17 16:21:35

Hopefully by the time our 3 year olds are grown up the value of neurodiversity might be a bit more widely appreciated and we might all find it a bit easier to be who we are! We can live in hope anyway...

LightTripper Thu 16-Nov-17 16:22:52

And thank you Ellie56 too - at the start of a journey like this it's wonderful to read about happy adults at the end of it.

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