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To move? To stay put? So unsure

(8 Posts)
Msqueen33 Wed 25-Oct-17 13:54:12

We've got three kids (9,7,5) all at the same mainstream school. Youngest is not wanted at all and school have all but said this and are trying to keep her out by limiting her hours (she has an ehcp and full hours but this is another story) Our nearest Sen school is 35 minutes away which is out of county and other is an hour or so away. We know our middle dd may need a more specialist provision come secondary school as our local school is huge and she hates noise and lots going on. I'm starting to panic about the coming few years. Do we move to find more local provisions with more options? The Sen schools at this point would be no good for my middle dd (we saw some a few years back and they said there's no way they'd take her). Our mainstream is very inflexible but they're the best of a bad bunch. I just don't know what to do. Professionals have agreed provision here is woeful. And I'm starting to worry with two kids with Sen that our options are limited and obviously I need to think ahead as well about my our eldest whose NT.

zzzzz Wed 25-Oct-17 15:47:55

I would say if you have to move the earlier you do it the better. I don’t have any wisdom though we have the same quandaries.

Msqueen33 Wed 25-Oct-17 16:06:36

Really hard isn't it. It all feels so unknown what could happen in the next few years. I do know our high school as it is now would be too big (over 2000 students and no base).

zzzzz Wed 25-Oct-17 17:00:30

I expect the first question is CAN you move?

Msqueen33 Wed 25-Oct-17 17:40:45

We could. Ideally we'd like to leave it a while as my husband has started a new ish job. So wouldn't want to uproot him so soon. Aside from my parents here we have no ties. I'm just hugely worried about schooling going forward.

SingingMySong Fri 03-Nov-17 02:57:36

Have you looked round the secondaries yet - local and in commuting distance for DH in another direction? I would start there if you haven't already. Some schools divide up the year group & use various tricks to avoid children being overwhelmed by numbers, and bigger schools seem to be the ones (round here anyway) that have specialist ASC provision and dedicated lunch areas for those who need them.

Our local school is also absolutely huge but having looked round that and a much smaller one with a good pastoral rep, we're actually favouring the big one.

When do you need to apply for your eldest's secondary place? If she's Y5 in England it'll come round quickly.

Frusso Sun 05-Nov-17 08:03:57

If your eldest is in yr5 now, I would look at moving before secondary application cutoff, which is 31st october. It would also give her time to settle and make new friends before going off to secondary.

Also consider the option of School transport for your youngest dc. We moved to an area that was close enough to an out of county specialist school for daily commute on School transport. LAs do like this to be under 45mins for a primary age child, but there is no law dictating how long is too long. If it is the closest school that meets need they will transport, (they will also transport out of county if it is closer, and if the cost of out of county placement plus transport is the cheaper option to in county placement plus transport).

I have 3 dc at 3 different schools, although middle dc already at special, (we wanted specialist) We moved during eldest yr6 and eldest struggled the 1st few weeks of secondary not knowing anyone. We did specifically choose a small secondary, although had we moved slightly earlier we would have had the option of two other larger secondary secondaries, (these were over subscribed, but already ruled out due to size).

I basically got a map out, marked dh work and middle dc specialist school, and smaller secondary school catchments and worked out commutable distances and travel times, which gave us an area in which to look for houses. Once you have your rough area you can start to look at the primary’s and narrow down your options as to which would be suitable for youngest dc.

Msqueen33 Thu 09-Nov-17 14:43:31

I went to look at a school the other day that’s purely for children with autism who are high functioning. It’s also on the site of an outstanding secondary plus they take from eight. They also say it’s easier to get a place when the child is younger.

I’m just worried about taking her away from who she sees as her friends and her sister and the fact she’s happy going. But they’re not great for Sen. They refuse to let her type yet. They’re very rigid (she needs to fit in) and we’re having huge problems with her younger sibling who also has asd at the school. Biggest issue is the head.

I’m taking our old LSA to look at the school to see what she thinks but I’m worried about how moving her might affect her emotionally.

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