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3 yrs old autistic boy, good in one to one therapies and disaster in a group?

(13 Posts)
Sanddunes Tue 17-Oct-17 18:15:40

I have a 3 yrs old boy diagonsed with autism-NOS last year. We live abroad and have been doing one to onw therapies for a while now. All his therapists have said that he is very good in one to one (stays seated and responds well). He recently started an inclusive pre-school and i received a barage of complaints from his teachers saying he doesn't participate on group activities, pushes other children etc. I am unableto understand why he is behaving like this? Anyone been in a similar situation? He is not disturbed by noises so it cant be the noise in the school. They say that he is generally happy the whole day (no tantrums etc) but he doesn't sit for too long. One of the teachers recently started doing a one to one sessions on a pull-out basis with him and commented that he is totally the opposite in one-one. any advice on why he could be behaving like this?

coffeemachine Tue 17-Oct-17 18:47:11

well, he has autism, doesn't he.

my DC was (and still is) the same. She doesn't understand social clues and rules. adults are very predictable and he probably understands much better what is expected from him in a 1:1 adult situation than being in a group of often unpredictable 3 year olds.

it does not sound as if he is well supported in the group sessions. Does he have a 1:1 support worker attached to him who helps him also in these type of group situations?

I also would rethink a setting that is 'complaining' about a 3 year old with SN being disruptive. Clearly, if he had the right support a lot of these situations could be prevented in the first place. Sounds let the place is inclusive only in name. do you think they fully understand his difficulties? and are there support agencies involved with the childcare setting? We had EP, Salt and OT going into nursery to help putting things in place.

Sanddunes Tue 17-Oct-17 19:20:24

There is no support as we r abroad. I am moving him to a new preschool that has some support and he will have a shadow teacher there. How old is your child now?

coffeemachine Tue 17-Oct-17 19:24:32

There is no support as we r abroad

there is your answer. you simply cannot expect a 3 year old with ASD to behave like a neurotypical child in a setting like that.

mine is almost 10.

coffeemachine Tue 17-Oct-17 19:26:42

can one of his therapists go into nursery with him?

Sanddunes Tue 17-Oct-17 19:50:53

We r arranging for a shadow teacher to go there. Does ur son still have issues in group settings?

LiefievdM Tue 17-Oct-17 20:26:46

I have to second @coffeemachine. My DS is quite good in 1-2-1 adult led activities, but not when left alone in a group of his peers to get on with it.
He will also not want to anything but what he wants to do and it is only a skilled 1-2-1 at nursery that semi-smoothly guides him to any structured activities or pre-empts any conflict issues with other children.

Best of luck OP. You may have to pay for your own 1-2-1 to shadow him at nursery? Good that the new setting will have someone shadow him, but in my experience it should ideally be someone with some experience in caring for children with autism.

coffeemachine Tue 17-Oct-17 20:38:35

For us struggling in groups never went away (and probably never will - it's very much a core problem for many with ASD. it just comes with this kind of dx)

Sanddunes Tue 17-Oct-17 20:55:47

YEs, we will have to pay for thw shadow teacher on our own as we live abroad and the system here is quite different to the one in the UK. The shadow teacher will have experience in special needs. How old is your child? And has she/he improved in group activities?

LiefievdM Wed 18-Oct-17 01:29:21

My DS is 2.5. He seems to be enjoying himself and there have been no "incidents", but he doesn't really engage in any group activities apart from story time and listening to the others sing songs - both of these on his terms. Without his 1-2-1 he would probably just play with cars in the corner all morning and not allow any one else to touch "his" cars without an actual fight.

notgivingin789 Wed 18-Oct-17 19:38:38

Oh yes ! Very common in children with Autism. DS was very much like when he was younger. Not anymore. However, if he finds something boring to do, he will sit down in the group (as a learnt social rule) But will grumble and moan ! DS attends a specialist provision and the school runs daily speech and language group session. This must of helped as well as attending multiple social group outings.

Some Private clinics run speech and language social groups..


zzzzz Wed 18-Oct-17 19:43:23

ASD is a life long condition so while he may gain the maturity to cope better with his social communication difficulties he’s not going to EVER be nt.

Allthewaves Sun 22-Oct-17 19:59:38

ds is rubbish at group activities unless lots of adult support. His asd is very unapparent until he has to function in a class or group work then it's meltdown, refusal etc. He has 1:1 now to support him and work on his social skills but he still tries to control everything p, he's 6

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