Medication for anxiety (long, sorry)

[Knickersinatwist36]

Ok I have got into some mental circles over DD2 (8yo in a week, ASD) and was hoping someone could take my hand and guide me through the thinking process.

We have had masses of school refusal, due to anxiety. School are utterly brilliant and have made so many accommodations for her and really go the extra mile for her. However she has become more and more anxious, during term time and holidays. School made a request that she was to be seen again by CAMHS (she saw them once when she was 5 they discharged her and they said, in effect, we don't think it is a mental health issue but she does need to be seen by a paediatrician so they referred on, she was diagnosed with ASD within a year).

I can see why she has been referred, she can become very violent (only with me though) and when in these meltdowns/panic attacks often unintentionally harms herself if I don't stop her - more injury for me. In the holidays she has more meltdowns (less predictable routine etc. We have weekly visual calendar and daily whiteboard but I haven't found anything that helps - or maybe they do help and it would be worse without.)

I thought we would have to wait ages for CAMHS (friends daughter is self harming and they won't even see her). But initial assessment was very quick. We were told the wait might be 10-14 months to be seen again but then I was phoned and told DD2 was a priority and she was seen this week as an emergency (3 weeks after the initial assessment). She is now being referred to 5 different specialists including a psychiatrist and I was told she would probably need to go on to either drugs for ADHD or antidepressants (the same kind that my DH is on) to reduce the anxiety.

I posted a couple of weeks ago about considering home ed just to reduce her anxiety but I don't even know if that would help as the holidays seem to have made her more anxious and I am just so sick of thinking and thinking and thinking and reading and never knowing what to do.

I know there are families here who would give their right arm for this and I do utterly appreciate all this intervention but I can't get past the idea that my 7/8 year old needs yet more assessments strong drugs and that it might change my wonderful, quirky, funny, loving little daughter into someone quite different (so as not to drip feed I was on antidepressants for some time and I ended up like a zombie and hated it, became more depressed and in the end just stopped taking them when I was told by someone very close to me it was like they had lost me. Also I have now had 47 days 24 hours a day (she sleeps in my bed as she is terrified even in a bed next to me) without a break from her.

Sorry this is very long and if you have got this far thank you. How do I get out of this way of thinking so I can help her? I know this is very rambling I can't quite think straight today.

[OneInEight]

Personally I would investigate the possibility of a specialist placement before going the medication route. ds1 was transformed when he moved from mainstream to a very, small supportive school who understood the support a child with an ASC needs. He went from 2 meltdowns a day to hardly any within weeks. So whilst medication had been considered whilst he was in mainstream it simply is not necessary for him when he has the right support.