How to deal with DS answering back

[EnglishRose1320]

DS has autism and answers us back a lot, things like 'I don't care' and 'but he is stupid' etc, what's the best way to handle this. Any tips greatly appreciated, thanks

[Allthewaves]

Mine get counted (use 1,2,3 magic).

[EnglishRose1320]

Youngest ds responds really well to 1,2,3 nearly always stops the behaviour and will calm and say sorry, Ds1 just gets angry. He is currently in his room screaming the place down because my oh has asked him to say sorry for being rude to him

[OneInEight]

It has taken ds1 to fourteen to learn to spontaneously say sorry and mean it! Even now he needs to calm down first. We found it more productive to explain why you shouldn't say some things even if you think they are true than insist on apologies.!

[EnglishRose1320]

Zzzzz- probably just being a bit dim but not sure I get your post, how will saying 'you're being irratating' help things?

Oneineight- yes we try and explain why afterwards when he has calmed down, some things he seems to get better than others. Oh gets very wound up by rudeness and takes it to heart more than I do which is part of the issue.