I have 2 children with ASD. My DH works full time and I work 3 days a week.
My 10 year old has aspergers. She currently doesn't go to any childcare before or after school or in the holidays because she gets so upset. We do the school run every day between us and my mum helps once a week. In the holidays we use annual leave or a relative will look after her. It has been possible to juggle things like this so far.
However....
My DS is 3 and has autism. He is developmentally delayed in many areas. He started preschool 5 mornings a week at the same school my DD goes to. His childminder picks him up on the days I work (he has been with this childminder since he was 1).
Due to a series of unfortunate events here I am now without a childminder and having series doubts about the suitability of DS's preschool as well.
I don't think I'll find another child minder to take him now. He's hard work. I could find a private nursery which would solve our childcare problems for a year but IME they have next to no ASD experience or training, and are run as a business so no money for extra help.
I'm considering a new preschool but we would difficulty dropping them both of at different locations at the same time, especially as DDs school is 3 miles away.
We would have no childcare in the school holidays. My family can't look after him as he's too difficult, and we wouldn't have enough annual leave.
I have no idea where DS will end up next year when he starts primary but I imagine we're going to have long term issues finding out of school care for him.
DD starts secondary next year which finishes at 2.30. I'm not sure how capable she will be at getting herself to and from school and looking after herself until we get home, at least initally. So that will probably fall on us too.
I am constantly taking time off work for appointments and meetings to do with my children. I'm currently on the floor with stress going through the EHCP process for both of them.
I'm finding it SO HARD to juggle everything and my mental health is in tatters.
I love my job (when I'm not stressed) and I don't want to quit. It isnt something that would be easy to get back into once i take time off, my skills would quickly date. I don't want to be reliant on DH and benefits as I feel it leaves us quite vunerable. I know plenty of people have no choice, but I feel i'd be intentionally putting myself in that position.
I don't know what to do
Any ideas? Anyone else got to this point? What did you do? Do you regret your decision? Sorry for all the questions, I don't really know where else to go for advice to help me make a decision.
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Juggling work and 2 children with ASD. I don't know if I can do it any more.
12 replies
monochromeunicorn · 10/07/2017 17:11
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