Son seen educational psychologist and now reported to social services

[Catherine2255]

My son is in year 5 he has a diagnosis of autism and developmental Co ordination disorder.
I'm trying to get a statement of sen setup as he has severe anxiety in class and on the yard which are causing outbursts of anger and swearing and the school have said if he swears in school he will be sent home. It feels like they are gearing up for expulsion. He doesn't swear at home but I spend a lot of time managing his behavior and dealing with triggers so he won't have the extreme reactions he has in school.
He had an appointment on Tuesday and met with the educational psychologist for an emergency review. My son was asked about his home life and his father. He said that he wishes he had a better relationship with his dad, that he drinks a lot and when he drinks he swears at him but he didn't want to talk about it anymore because he didn't want anyone going to prison. When I went to meet with the school that afternoon I was pulled into the headmasters office and told that my son had said some very disturbing things and he would have to report it to social services. I was really shocked, my husband likes a drink on the weekend but nothing out of the ordinary, they clash a lot but my son thinks his dad hates him when he doesn't at all they just butt heads a lot. We are a normal functioning family, I feel that my sons view of his father is jaded because they clash so much. He can be very black and white about things, if my husband tells him off it means he's bullying him etc
To be honest when I spoke to the headmaster I was in shock and said tgat they do clash but said nothing about the drinking part. When I spoke to the headmaster later he said he had phoned social services but said no action would be taken as I've admitted that they do clash and I've been co operative about getting my son the support he needs. The headmaster said we would continue to meet with the educational psychologist next week but not to mention the accusations to my son as they were worried that he wouldn't open up on their next meeting if I interfere. He said oh this is what has come out so far. I'm worried they are actively looking to portray us as bad parents instead of dealing with my sons educational needs. I spoke to my sons therapist who I pay privately, she has been working with him for months and said she had no concerns about my sons welfare and she was concerned at the direction this was taking. Have any of you been in this kind of situation?
I did speak to my son and explained what had happened. It took a while to calm him down and explain that no we weren't upset with him for saying it but we needed to talk about why he said it. My son said that the words came out wrong and that's why he didn't want to talk about it anymore. He did say he thought his dad drank too much and he didn't like being around him when he's had a drink, even though I don't think his dad having a drink on the weekend is an issue, it's obviously an issue for my son. I don't think he should not have a drink on the weekend but I think we are going to have to wait until he is in bed before he/we have a drink.

[Checklist]

Well, I have not been in your position exactly, but we do have a DD who tends towards black and white, rigid thinking; misunderstands language and social situations....For instance:

1. She told school staff that DH drank a lot (after one night of over-indulgence, a once in a blue moon event for us). Likewise, she frequently tells everybody she comes across that he is very fat - they can see for themselves, that he is not!
   

1. A social worker from the Children with Disabilities Team asked her once why she wanted a dog (as part of their enquiring what she wanted to do in the future at her level), and she told the social worker it was so she could have sex with it! You should have seen the social worker's face! I had to explain that we had been to our SIL's at the weekend; their bitch was on heat and mounted DD, playing with her on the floor. We had had to explain to DD, why the dog was behaving like this (she was a teenager and had had sex education)....I explained to the social worker, that what DD actually meant was that she would like to play with a dog on the floor....
   

1. She came home and told me that two school staff were having sex, because she had seen them laughing and giggling (in fact, she was right, because everybody knew they were having an affair) - but she could easily have repeated that to whoever she came across next, such as standing up in front of the whole class and telling them!
   

It does not matter how careful you are, they can still come up with anything to embarrass you or anybody else!

I just make sure that if social workers want to speak to DD, either I am there to ensure her comprehension and put what she says into context; or someone like a speech and language therapist is there, to do the same!

[Catherine2255]

Thanks for that you made me lol! All is ok now, ed psych wasn't very bothered by it when I spoke to her. I think the school is trying to push what they can back on me. I've never hated a place more. I can't wait until this school year is over

[Oblomov17]

I think you should tread very carefully.
Atleast counsellor doesn't have concerns.
I think you need to 'press her' about the fact she has concerns where this really is leading with the school.


I had similar. Ds1 was seeing camhs and she did not have concerns.

But some of the things ds said to the school counsellor about Dh, school saw as concerns and reported to SS.

I too Felt school counsellor had her own agenda and was trying to paint us as really awful parents.

In the end the whole situation was disastrous. please make sure this doesn't happen to you.