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My dd has started boarding at school and I really miss her

(3 Posts)
LottieandMia Thu 22-Jun-17 23:08:40

It's terrible because I feel so upset but at the same time I can see it's the best thing for her. She's very happy and relaxed and smiling and has been at the school for a year and has been doing very well but every now and then I just burst into tears.

For anyone whose children are at residential school, does it get better? I want her to be able to come home at weekends because I miss her so much. I think that was the plan but children's services recommended that she has 8 weeks at the school so she can settle in.

Checklist Fri 23-Jun-17 08:51:52

IMO, 8 weeks is far too long to not come home! I've never heard this advice of staying 8 weeks to settle in, and I've come across countless parents of children in residential schools! I've also spent a considerable amount of time visiting DD in schools - all the children looked happy to me!

We never managed to stretch DD beyond coming home every three weeks; and we built up to that very gradually! By the 3rd week, she was just obsessed with coming home and talked about it all her waking hours!

Some residential schools are weekly boarding - they wouldn't do it, if they found the children didn't settle!

Do what you think is right for your DD - you know her better than anybody else; but the flip side of the coin is that 8 weeks is a long time for a child, and when she does get home, she may refuse to go back, seeing as she may be there for what feels like an eternity again!

Depending on your DD's SEN, but we always gave DD a calendar and marked in red when she was coming home, so she could cross off the days - but then, she needs routine, consistency and to know what is coming next! (8 weeks would be beyond her comprehension)

LottieandMia Fri 23-Jun-17 09:38:45

I go to see her a lot because we are only 20 minutes away. Her social worker did say that if she settles well then she should be able to come home sooner, which does seem to be the case. She is sleeping far better at school. At home she was often up all night. It's just me really.

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