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Zoning out

(3 Posts)
Imaginosity Sun 04-Jun-17 01:02:41

DS zones out when he's disinterested. This is fine if he's at home and needs to relax but a real problem when we're in company. He can completely blank people - doesnt even register they are talking to him unless you really make a big effort to get his attention. If something interests him he will come alive. I really wish he could at least pretend to be a bit interested when he's not. He really likes certain friends but realistically they're unlikely to want to hang around with someone who switches on and off. I dont know! Im just worrying so much about DS's social skills. His school keep saying they see big improvements in him in general but I wonder am i deluding myself believing them. I bring him to meet people and he will be excited about seeing them but then he goes off focusing on a stick or a puddle or something and paying the people only a bit of attention, if any. When we go home he will talk about what a good time he had with his friends even though he spent most of the time not playing with them.

I tried social stories and they work to a limited extent - maybe i should make a better effort with those. He just seems to really shut down and nothing can reach him - except something of interest to him. Sometimes i wonder is it a sensory thing. I find it hard to understand how he can be so focused and engaged and charming when he's interested in something - and then so distant at other times.

I know he may always need to zone out a bit but I'm wondering, as he gets older, will he be able to regulate this a bit when he's in company. I can't help him with social skills if he's so zoned out.

I just have this big fear about him being alone as he seems to like the idea of having friends but i dont see how he will be able to keep friends.

Polter Sun 04-Jun-17 08:47:08

I would guess he's using it as a way to self-regulate which to me is a good thing, and not something I would try to overcome. As you say, when he's interested he engages socially, so he just needs to meet more interesting (to him) people and he'll find his friends.

The1andonlyFrusso Sun 04-Jun-17 09:10:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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