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Just been told my DS may never be able to read...

(11 Posts)
cows573 Tue 30-May-17 21:53:26

My son, nearly 9 years old is happy, healthy and sociable.

However, we realised from an early age that he was special... got everyone involved that was needed.

He is now officially diagnosed with hypermobility syndrome, GDD/dyspraxia, has major visual learning difficulties and learns in a dyslexic manner ( and more),,,

The school had been working very hard with him, the nursery worked very hard with him (with an extra year) and I also have worked very hard with him to the extent of doing an online reading course with him.

His learning difficulties also are related to maths and his speech is immature for his age.

The educational psychologist told me yesterday that his was one of the worst that he had seen given parental support and no social or emotional difficulties (not in those words but backed up by his teacher). He loves school, gives everything his all and really is trying his best...

Given all this, the educational psychologist told me my son may never be able to read, but to console myself that, the way technology was going, this may not be required in ten years.

I do not particularly feel consoled by this... Feel, despite trying everything I can think of, I am letting him down...

Does anyone else have experience of this? Are there any support groups out there for advice or help?

zzzzz Wed 31-May-17 09:40:36

9 is very young to give up on reading. What stage has he got to?

BoogleMcGroogle Wed 31-May-17 12:28:49

9 is indeed very young and there are lots of ways to develop functional reading skills, even with children with lots of barriers. Mencap might be able to offer you some support. Also, think carefully about whether your son is placed in the best educational environment for him (would he benefit from a more specialist environment where staff have special expertise in supporting young people with such difficulties).

I work with children with SEN, and also have a son with SEN. There are lots of approaches that can be taken. For children at the earliest stages of functional reading, I have found that making personalised books and stories, so that they can learn to read words important to them in their life and environment is really powerful. The Special Stories iPad app is really nice for this. You can make a 'book' using personal photos and captions or words underneath.

Never give up on what your son can achieve, and feel proud of what you have both achieved so far. As a professional, I feel nothing but joy when I'm proved spectacularly wrong about a child's 'potential'.

youarenotkiddingme Wed 31-May-17 13:54:54

Never give up.

Also have a look at reading pens. It may help him to scan words and hear them read to access the curriculum independently.

zzzzz Wed 31-May-17 19:39:16

Ds1 learnt to read basic words before he learnt to call me by name (ie mama) and before he could form sentences.
iPad, montessori, dandelion launchers, Julia Donaldson readers, solid alphabets, overlays, reader pens, texting.....there's tons.

What CAN he do?

PandasRock Wed 31-May-17 22:12:44

I agree with the previous posters. There are so many approaches and things to try. 9 is very young to write off a skill.

iPad apps where I made up stories were a major part in my dd's early reading. I used the Open University My Story app. We also kept persevering with first steps in reading - phonics, sight words, all kinds of language/reading exercises. She used (over time) so many different methods, all built up so very slowly.

frazzledbutcalm Thu 01-Jun-17 07:43:24

If you can, please go and see this man

Testing is free, you only pay for colour lenses and frames if you choose ones above NHS price.

Shybutnotretiring Thu 01-Jun-17 09:27:38

I really feel for you OP. We are in the same position. DS is 9 and while some people allege from time to time that he has made progress (I suspect they don't like to think that their efforts have had no effect) a no punches pulled recent report assessed his maths age as 5 years 9 months, writing non-existent and most guttingly reading age below 5 years. It's hard to understand why such a verbally intelligent child (although sometimes it's hard to strip out the echolalia) just can't (or won't?) read. We've enlisted dyslexia tutors and they don't even think he is dyslexic, that it's the ASD.
I agree with you about not being comforted that in 10 years time people won't need to read. Reminds me of the parents' evening where his teacher tried to convince me that writing was passe. Perhaps in 10 years' time time travel will allow us to go back to an era where illiteracy was the norm!
With DS though, he is absolutely dead set against reading. We've been to see Ian Jordan who is indeed absolutely lovely and wonderful but DS totally refuses to use his blue lens glasses at school!
You do hear of people who are really late readers, like Ryan Gosling! Clutching a bit at straws but have to believe they'll get there in the end. It's the not knowing what to do that is so painful. I oscillate between thinking I've got to try more things, there must be some way round this, and thinking perhaps it might be more likely to happen naturally in the fullness of time. Sorry about the unload but I guess I have been waiting for a post like yours for a long time....

JefferysJodpers Thu 01-Jun-17 11:38:56

My sister and a few of her friends cannot read, my sister can some small words and letter sounds but not enough to be functional. She could recognise known place names on buses and bits, her boyfriend can't at all.

They all have apps on their phones for texts and emails which do wonders, but need help with things like letters from ultility companies etc.

I'm not saying your ds will need read. I'm saying my sister leads a fulfilling life and as do her friends and it's quite surprisingly how little In gets in their way

frazzledbutcalm Sun 04-Jun-17 13:16:49

shy ... it's such a shame your ds won't wear his glasses in school :-(

They help my dc massively! Dd won't wear hers in college but she wore them up until she passed her GCSE's. She wouldn't have passed without them.

Dd2 wore hers initially (she had 1 green, 1 yellow lens) but won't wear them now (both light blue).

Ds wears his no probs.

Hope you all find a solution.

Shybutnotretiring Mon 05-Jun-17 01:04:32

It's one of my hopes for when he starts special school (rather than current mainstream) that he'll feel secure enough/not so self-conscious to give his glasses a proper go. Not banking on anything though...

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