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Humming, whistling and tapping

(10 Posts)
Apparentlychilled Wed 24-May-17 10:28:44

Oh man! DD is 8 and poss ASD (just started the assessment process). In the last 6 months she's started whistling, humming and tapping and it's driving me crazy! Today she asked me about the gum shield I wear at night and I explained that it's because I grind my teeth. Very innocently, she then said "When you ask me not to hum or whistle or tap, I grind my teeth too". I feel like I'm such a mean mum. I know stimming includes tapping and humming and so she's self soothing and that I should learn to chill out and zone out so she can do that. Esp if she's grinding her teeth instead.

Oh man- I'm so new at all this ASD stuff and I feel like I've a couple of good days with her (doing gratitude lists, mediating and talking about how our behaviour makes other feel, a bit like Social Stories), but then I feel like I'm making it worse for her, like this! Does anyone have any tips for learning to ignore THE most annoying sounds ever?!

F1ipFlopFrus Thu 25-May-17 07:39:26

The hum/whistle/tap is a stim.
Working out why she does it can help you understand why she's doing it.
Which makes it slightly less annoying,

when you think ooh, dd is humming, what's making her excited/anxious, or is it just the she needs a noise or the feedback she's getting from making the noise(self stimulation or regulation)?

I don't often ask dd to stop, (she does humming, clicking, and another one when she's really excited but not heard that one for a while and can't quite describe it. Thankfully not whistling as I can't handle that noise) I usually ask her what's up, or sometimes tell her she's getting loud.

I have noise sensitivities myself, so if I'm having a bad day and not coping with noises, then occasionally I will have to tell her to stop, or to go somewhere else, or do something else.

Apparentlychilled Thu 25-May-17 18:49:06

Thanks F1. That's a good idea to ask her what's up- thanks for that tip. The penny only dropped that this was stimming when she said that - till then I just dismissed it as an annoying quirk (so told her off). shockenvy

Apparentlychilled Thu 25-May-17 18:49:33

Oh. No idea where envy came from. Oh well

F1ipFlopFrus Thu 25-May-17 19:16:52

Dd1 was 8 before I twigged what she does was a stim.
Dd2 who was diagnosed with autism at 3yrs doesn't stim. And what we originally thought was a vocal stim with her, wasn't a stim at all.

user1495020658 Fri 26-May-17 10:23:56

My DD hums, a lot! If she is becoming sensory overloaded the humming gets louder and louder.

Waitingforsleep Fri 26-May-17 11:35:49

Can things like cartwheels be a stim? Dd is another hummer and singer and for the past few weeks wants to cartwheel all the time. I am wondering is she is add and not asd although I know lots cross over so was curious about this too?
She can't sit still unless it's something that interests her and even then she will often watch tv standing k. Her head

Apparentlychilled Mon 29-May-17 12:56:33

waitingforsleep I'm too new to ASD to know but didn't want your post to go unanswered. Have somebrew and cake, as it's too early for wine

user1495020658 Mon 29-May-17 22:37:11

WaitingForSleep, I am no expert but maybe its sensory seeking? My DD seeks constantly, she jumps everywhere and craves movement. My DD sings a lot too!

Waitingforsleep Mon 29-May-17 22:52:54

It's all so confusing isn't it as all sounds so similar. I thought maybe that too but how on earth do you know which?

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