ADHD & Private Help

[user1495025874]

I have 4 children, my youngest is my 11 year old daughter who I have struggled with in all of her 11 years, starting from a newborn baby who seemed to cry all the time, never slept during the day and struggled to sleep at night. She never much liked being held and would always struggle to get out of your arms and would sometimes headbutt me in an effort to make me put her down. It was the same whenever she was restrained in a car seat or a pushchair or highchair, she would scream and squirm until she was free and would then want to run off and look for mischief, touching everything she could reach. Any shopping trip would end with massive meltdowns which would last for hours, she never seemed to get get tired, no matter where we went or what we did. At a young age she learnt how to undo the child safety catches on cupboards to help herself to whatever took her fancy whenever my back was turned. My 3 older children struggled to understand her behaviour and would spend most time in their rooms in an effort to keep out of her way. She would often go into their rooms and be very destructive with their things. During her early years at school she found it very hard to make friends and didn't ever get invited to any birthday parties, something I found very strange as having had my 3 other children knew that this was something that was not normal. I kept telling myself its something that she will grow out of, once she's used to school it will change. Her reports at school have always been good and has always been described as a happy smiley girl, it's when she comes home that she changes. She has huge meltdowns over the smallest things, it's like being on a roller-coaster as sometimes she is so happy/high almost laughing hysterically for no reason and at other times, she's so angry she can only growl at me. She loses things, has trouble concentrating and staying organised, following instructions etc. When she was 6 I managed to get a referral to a paediatrician who eventually gave her a diagnoses of ADHD and some traits of ODD. Strangely we were never offered a follow up to this appointment and school were not interested as they said she was the perfect pupil. The blame for her behaviour was put on mine and my partner at the time (her step-dad) relationship break up. No on wanted to listen to how her behaviour problems had always been there. I moved away to a new area and a new school for my daughter. The problems have not improved and at 11 years old she has never been dry at night time, she has to wear pyjama pants (which she hates). Her behaviour - and meltdowns are still just as bad She is impulsive, forgetful and creates a disaster wherever she goes while home.She can't unwind and go to sleep for anything and then she is tired the next day, doesn't want to get up for school and bursts into tears over everything. No memory of the most basic rules. She interrupts and doesn't sit still for anything of importance(to us). She lies and exagerates things, which I find really upsetting. She has an obsession with feeling things which are soft and slimey, she will take my fabric softener, shampoo, condiditioner....( you name it ) and mix it together, hiding it in some kind of container in her bedroom and spend time with her hands in it,,, no matter how many times ive told her to stop, she just says she likes the feel of it. I have had another referral with another paediatrician who basically told us that because she isnt like it at school there is nothing wrong with her and told me it was probably my fault and because I have had relationship problems. I left there in floods of tears as I was sure they would be able to help us.
Now at my wits end I am looking to get help privately, but I don't know where to turn who who would be the best value for money, the amount some places are charging for a diagnosis are frightening.
I would greatly appreciate any information or recommendations anyone could give me before my daughters childhood is completely lost