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Could it be ADHD in a nearly 4 year old?

(3 Posts)
scampimom Mon 10-Apr-17 12:31:53

Just wondering if I have just cause to go and see my GP about DD, or whether I'm just being PFB with poor parenting skills.

DD is 4 next month. She NEVER listens. Not to me, not to DH, not at nursery, and not at the dance classes or rugby classes we have now stopped taking her to. She gets wildly frustrated with things, having a total melt down if she can't do something yet very very rarely asking for help.

She cannot stick at a single activity for more than a couple of minutes, except for the odd time when she becomes engrossed - but even that lasts no more than 4-5 minutes. She's impervious to danger, always climbing, always moving, always throwing things around (sometimes in anger, but often just in play) without any regard for drinks or glasses or what have you.

She hates cuddles and kisses, but if she is in the mood and you ask her nicely (I don't believe in just grabbing children for a cuddle or demanding physical contact if they don't want to), she might give you a hug. It's usually a leap into your arms and then off again, though.

She's so bright, funny, and has lots of friends at nursery, but I think it's partly because she's so anarchic that she distracts the other kids and they find her funny.

I find myself getting so wound up I could strangle her sometimes. I am wondering if it's a good idea to go to the GP and have some investigations to rule out anything medical e.g. possibly hearing problems, or possibly ADHD. Apparently her dad (my DH) was like this when he was a kid, and was a nightmare to live with, but back in the late 70s there was "no such thing" as ADHD.

Does anyone have a LO with a diagnosis of ADHD that could offer some insights? What do you wish you'd known or done differently? Am I completely overthinking this and just need to look at my parenting and discipline skills?

F1ipFlopFrus Mon 10-Apr-17 16:19:28

Hi scampimom
I have a ds version of the child you have just described. He can also trash a room in seconds.
We are under the paediatrician for possible ADHD/ASD. With not enough to diagnose but too much to not diagnose.
We are on a wait and see until next Jan. As my paed won't diagnose ADHD before then, and won't consider meds before 7.
The paed did say attention wise you should get at minute for each year. So for a nearly 4yo you should get 4 minutes concentration on something that not their choice.

We were recommended to read Understanding ADHD by Christopher Green.
And to use techniques for managing children with adhd/asd. (Mainly short clear instructions).

Allthewaves Thu 13-Apr-17 22:37:02

I was the same with my first who does have adhd. I thought it was my utter crap parenting skills but hv agreed something was off and started asd diagnosis at 2.5 yrs - signed off at 4 as not having asd then had to wait until 6 for adhd diagnosis as they won't diagnose here until 6. Got diagnosed within 3 wks.

My ds sounds like yours - lack of danger awareness is frightening as a parent. I use 1,2,3 magic and works quite well. Ds loves his ipad and will happily sit for that (only thing that saved me sanity) and very very very long walks

Def see gp about hearing as that always good first step to rule out.

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