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So my daughter has just flashed her privates at an older boy

(8 Posts)
NoNamesLeft86 Fri 31-Mar-17 21:14:23

Right so my daughter is almost 8. She has no diagnosis but im almost certain she has high functioning autism/aspergers. She is under assessment but is tricky because she is an angel at school and they blame me for amy issues at home. So thats the basic background. Her and her sister have just come back from their Dads, where they had been with his New girlfriends son, who is about 10/11 and they have met a few times. DD1 has just informed me that DD2 has just pulled up her skirt, and pulled her knickers to the side and showed the boy her privates. And thought it was hallarious. Ive just sat her down and explained that this is a huge no no and that whats in her underwear is private etc etc. But this is not the first time and we have always made sure we have drummed this into her but it seems to just not go in. She seems to be clueless as to why this isnt appropriate. I dont know what to do. Im so scared that one day she will do this to the wrong person and have some serious consquence. It has been adults in the past too, both male and female. But it hadnt happened for a long time so we thought we had got past this. confused

NoNamesLeft86 Fri 31-Mar-17 21:54:13

I dont know what to do. I'm tempted to talk to the school, which I know will result in her being mortified. But i dont really know what else to do.

She doesn't seem to get that this isn't appropriate. sad

NoNamesLeft86 Sat 01-Apr-17 07:50:25


OneInEight Sat 01-Apr-17 09:33:34

We have not had the same but frequently have the ds's finding something funny (and repeating) which others find offensive and being totally unable to understand why. I have seen a schematic of concentric circles of different types of people (family, doctors, friends, strangers etc) to help explain the rules of who you are allowed to show things to that can help explain social rules and I wonder if that would help. Think it is aimed at acceptable touching but would work for this scenario as well. Social stories might help as well. It probably has to be made into a rule rather than trying to get her to understand why at this stage. Mine really didn't get discretion about their bodies 9 or 10 but we got there eventually (infact now we have gone too far the other way).

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers Sat 01-Apr-17 09:37:20

Have a read of Teach Your Child The Underwear Rule. It's an EU wide educational campaign to help kids understand what is acceptable and what is not. It's aimed at helping kids be safe from abuse but it will help her understand what is private and why.

defineme Sat 01-Apr-17 09:38:42

The school (headteacher) talking to my ds about a similar issue was the only thing that properly stopped it. The shock of the higher authority talking to him managed to break through the hilarity/ lack of understanding etc.

zzzzz Sat 01-Apr-17 10:35:21

School will help.

It's not so dreadful or so shaming, just children finding the right way and parents trying to help.

It will be okbrew

Ds spent almost a year pointing at any black person he met and shouting "you've got a blackface" made us look like raving racists and was AWFUL when it was kids. sad. Ridiculously we are a mixed ethnicity couple and REALLY not fussed what colour people are grin

It can all be a bit mortifying sometimes.

NoNamesLeft86 Tue 04-Apr-17 13:22:54

Thank you. Good to know im not alone on this.

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