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How often do you complain?

(10 Posts)
wevecomeonholidaybymistake Sat 11-Mar-17 10:58:16

I've found myself emailing school yet again to complain how they've handled a situation with DS who has AS.
I suffer with anxiety myself so over think situations and I'm panicking that I should let stuff go. The other side of me says I need to email them everytime something doesn't get done as it should so they actually start doing things properly.

I don't want to add to the stress I know teachers are under but I also feel they shouldn't be letting DS down.

So my question through all my babbling is, do you point out their failings everytime?

zzzzz Sat 11-Mar-17 11:26:37

It's a hard one because I don't really think of it as complaining.blush. I help them do a good job and hope they try to do the same for me, so sometimes that includes saying "XXXX makes it harder for us". I assume school want the same outcome as I do.

wevecomeonholidaybymistake Sat 11-Mar-17 19:47:57

That's a good way of looking at it, thank you zzzzz.

I guess i have a fear of being "that parent" but need to realise it has to be done for DS.

blaeberry Sat 11-Mar-17 19:55:31

Embrace being 'that parent' grin

I have done the whole range of complaint levels (stopping just short of the ombudsman). But for day-to-day issues I try not to 'complain' but more enquire/discuss difficulties.

amistillsexy Sat 11-Mar-17 19:58:32

I move between letting things go and emailing about every little thing, depending on how robust ds is feeling. It makes no bloody difference either way, though, since the SENCO simply brushes me off no mattress what, and her attitude is 'this is what we do, so you should be grateful'. She has a set pattern of 'support' and won't change it, so in reality what we have is simply exactly the same as mainstream kids get, with someone sitting next to him. Sometimes. It's Shit but I'm fed up of getting her snooty snotty emails every time I make a suggestion or complain. DSs school is failing him massively. He is really reluctant to move as he knows how hard it would be, and he would feel he'd failed. I'm looking at alternative schools (again) but I know he won't want to go.
I just don't know why they won't listen to parents.
Sorry,OP, not much help for your question here, but if it's any help at all, I feel the same!

wevecomeonholidaybymistake Sat 11-Mar-17 20:23:38

Yes i don't think it actually makes much difference tbh but I'm leaving a paper trail to help with the EHCP process.

enterthedragon Sat 11-Mar-17 21:53:36

Yep, I now email when things when things aren't done properly, I talk to IASS and then forward emails to them, I've emailed the LA and copied in IASS and the school.

If you have a statement or EHCP copy in your LA Caseworker to any emails to the school and forward any emails from the school to the LA and keep copies.

amistillsexy Sat 11-Mar-17 21:54:06

We have an ehcp, and we're happy with what it says.

Unfortunately, the school is being very economical in the way they implement it, so 'daily meetings with support assistant to discuss difficulties' becomes one scheduled meeting a week if she's not timetabled for something else, and the SENCO repeatedly saying that he can go and ask anyone who's available for help (even though severe anxiety means that he doesn't seek help, which is one of the reasons his provision is so high on his ehc plan).

I have the paper trail idea in mind too, and it drives the SENCO mad. She hates me emailing and often just doesn't reply, or replies with sarcastic or rude replies. The head teacher refuses to meet us or discuss our concerns, and his PA simply tells us to deal with the SENCO directly. It's terrible. I would complain to the governors, but there's so much I wouldn't know where to start, and im not sure what good it would do. It's very depressing.

enterthedragon Sun 12-Mar-17 02:28:40

The LA are responsible for ensuring that the provision in the EHCP is actually provided by the school, so if the school are not adhering to the ehcp email the SENCO explaining what is not being provided and reminding her that the EHCP is a legally binding document, if they make excuses and still don't provide what they are supposed to email your LA Caseworker and attach your email to the SENCO and any reply from the SENCO, clearly state what the school should be providing but aren't and what you want to happen.

Bodley Sun 12-Mar-17 22:41:29

I agree with other posters. Complain, complain, complain. Our kids have rights and schools are breaking laws left, right and centre. Having a paper trail is vital. We're made to feel like 'that parent' when we're not, actually, we're just asking for the support and understanding our kids are entitled to.

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