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How would you respond to this... if at all?

(25 Posts)
Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 17:43:13

DS 8 ASD/features of ADHD YR4. He is medicated (lowest dose possible) to help with the symptoms of his ADHD, hyperactivity/impulsiveness/chattiness etc.

His CT has written the following in his book tonight...

Please remember that I will give you time and support BUT I also have 29 other children who need me too!

No explanation as to what this refers to but I can presume that due to his lack of impulse control when something pops into his head he needs to deal with it NOW and will not stop asking until his question query is answered. His anxiety then builds and builds the longer he is ignored. I appreciate this is easier to deal with out of school.

The "I have 29 other children" part has touched a nerve, because I hate this phrase TBH.

Be interested to know what (if anything) would you do.

zzzzz Mon 06-Mar-17 18:16:54

I wouldn't do anything beyond photographing it on my phone to time and date it and keep it in mind when I talk to her.

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 18:21:23

Do you think it is an acceptable comment to make to him zzzzz

zzzzz Mon 06-Mar-17 19:52:25

I think it's factually correct. Pretty callous but we don't know the driver.

I have a similar child and frankly do have to remind that there is only one of me quite regularly. If you're child feels the teacher doesn't appreciate his difficulties this could be better than feeling misunderstood. It's all in the context really so hard to call.

PolterGoose Mon 06-Mar-17 19:57:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 21:21:10

Point taken... have taken a picture wink

zzzzz Mon 06-Mar-17 21:22:49

Your! blush.

lougle Mon 06-Mar-17 21:28:48

I can frequently be heard saying 'there is one of me and three of you!!' to my children (1 SN, 1 awaiting assessment, 1 just....7)

I don't think it's a terrible comment for a book. It's mildly constructive - perhaps he needs to work on waiting, or prioritising his worries, etc.?

TwoLeftSocks Mon 06-Mar-17 21:38:41

I think I'd be a bit annoyed but would maybe counter with the suggestion of could he have a notepad or something to quickly jot his question down? Our DS would get annoyed, at himself as much as anything, that a question would pop straight out of his head if he had to be patient and wait. Could that help?

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 21:46:04

Lougle We've come a long way from the 5 year old that used to throw/scream/hit when anxious or frustrated. After lots of work at home he is now able to articulate any worries or anxieties and this has been hugely beneficial in reducing outbursts.

However because of his anxiety, if he can't say what he needs to say he worries that he will forget so the longer he waits the more anxious he gets... this is a work in progress.

Allthewaves Mon 06-Mar-17 21:49:37

Perhaps he's had a day where he has monopolised the teacher completely. I wouldn't be annoyed. I would be phoning to have a chat to see if the situation is getting worse - perhaps he needs a medication dosage review or work on behavioral strategies

Allthewaves Mon 06-Mar-17 21:51:02

Could he have a special note pad to write his question down to relieve the anxiety

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 21:52:40

Twoleftsocks a note pad for him is something worth giving a try.

He doesn't like writing unless he's forced to but might be useful to give it a try.

TwoLeftSocks Mon 06-Mar-17 21:55:40

Even if its just one or two words that could prompt that train of thought again, I've done it verbally with DS at times mid conversation with someone else. It's less of an issue now but I remember it being more so when he was around yr4.

zzzzz Mon 06-Mar-17 21:59:19

What about a dictaphone? You can get toys that record a few seconds and play back for very little cash. Mc Donald's gave one away once I think.grin

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 22:01:40

Allthewaves sorry, crossed posts. Yes, I will be reviewing his dosage at next months clinic appointment. CT usually gives me a A4 summary beforehand.

We are working all the time at home with him, sadly because of this progress has been good, couple this with the low dose of medication and school have reduced his support. He now only has the hours that school fund and I can't see that they are doing anything to support him above what the other children receive. I asked them to quantify at last meeting... whole other thread

zzzzz Mon 06-Mar-17 22:03:07

angry I hate the thought of upping meds because of school dropping support.

jcsp Mon 06-Mar-17 22:10:10

None of us on here know the exact details.

But I have said similar to some pupils in my teaching life. (Albeit of secondary age) Not necessarily those with conditions.

I would not have written it down in a book but I have written notes and put them on a desk as a reminder.

30 children in a class and possibly no TA can mean a very stressful time.

It can be hard meeting the needs of 30 children at the same time.

CP

Allthewaves Mon 06-Mar-17 22:26:02

What about hand held voice recorder

www.argos.co.uk/product/3391259

My sons meds have stopped working so ow he's causing problems at school - they have asked me to up the dose

ouryve Mon 06-Mar-17 22:30:28

Upping the dose is something that needs to be between you and the prescriber, not the school, ffs!

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 22:38:46

Me too zzzzz but he really has limited impulse control (even less when not on his meds).

An example... in the classroom he has a small table with his lego collection on, he is allowed to play with this when he has finished his work or is feeling overwhelmed. Someone had moved some of the characters on the table. When ds saw this he needed to put it right, there and then, CT told him to sit down, he didn't because he was fixated on putting the lego back in the right place. Cue meltdown! CT didn't give him the opportunity to explain why, she just went straight to telling him off and because of this had his meltdown to deal with!

jcsp the fact that CT has to meet the needs of 30 children is no excuse for my ds getting treating like a naughty child with no consideration for his many additional needs. I read her comment as frustration as ds and she wanted me to know it.

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 22:46:20

ouryve AFAIC the only part school play in medication for my ds is to provide me with a summary of differences from when he is/is not medicated for the paediatrician.

ouryve Mon 06-Mar-17 23:08:42

And that's exactly how it should be, book.

It tends to go:

Me thinking: Shit, DS1's been all over the place, recently, he's due an appointment with CAMHS, though, has grown 3" and put on 2 stone since the last one and has been on this same dose for 2 years.
School: Arrrrrrgh!!!!!!1
Me: Yep, I'm on it!

Bookeatingboy Mon 06-Mar-17 23:13:59

grin

zzzzz Tue 07-Mar-17 00:37:23

grin oh you have a lego boy! me too! grin

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