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i think life just got worse

(4 Posts)
booksandtea Wed 01-Mar-17 20:34:07

Ds2 High functioning AS (not diagnosed until age 13) .
He has just turned 18 last week . He has been constantly pushing the boundaries for ages , he thinks it is me that has a problem , that i am too overprotective but the truth is without me and dh behind the scenes things would have been even more disastrous than they have been .

He wants everything his way and we have had violence and out of control behaviour in the past when we have stopped him . He has treated me terribly alot of the time , he really resents me reminding him to do things or trying to help him in any way . i have had to just treat each day as a fresh start and cope .
when i have sat back and let him make his own mistakes so to speak i have then had a nightmare picking up the pieces . When anything goes wrong he doesnt blame himself or learn he blames me .

For ages hes been saying ' well i can do what i like when im 18 ' every time we have had to vetoe bad choices or ideas of his .

Last week he turned 18 and hes sticking to his guns . For example , trying to give him independence i said that he would need to collect and pay for his own medication at the chemist ( he has absence epilepsy) . He said that he isn't wasting money on that , he doesn't need the medication , he doesnt believe he has absence seizures ( because he isn't aware when one has happened .) So , i'm just going to continue to do it .
Hes getting angry if i remind him to have a drink ( he goes without all day otherwise) , things like that .

hes planning to go abroad , go drinking in the pub ( medication doesnt mix with alchohol), and all sorts of stuff . Things i really don't think he should be doing yet alone . He has already had a massive tattoo that he now regrets . He just keeps getting mad and saying i can't stop him .
and i can't , can i ?
i don't know what to do , i can see the carefully constructed life that me and dh have created to keep him calm and keep things running smoothly all falling apart and it scares me !

miserableson Fri 03-Mar-17 10:24:33

Books - my children are younger than yours so no real advice to offer.

I think if you have a child on the spectrum reaching 18 then possibly you have to pick your battles - as parents of NT children do - but I totally accept that the medication / alcohol issue is very frightening.

Is there a doctor whom your son listens to that you could get on side?

Really sympathise and didn't want your post to go unanswered.

booksandtea Fri 03-Mar-17 15:03:17

thanks for answering smile

Blossom4538 Tue 07-Mar-17 22:41:44

Must be so hard, feel for you reading this.

I agree, try and get a gp to have a chat about the medication.

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