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i think life just got worse(4 Posts)
Ds2 High functioning AS (not diagnosed until age 13) .
He has just turned 18 last week . He has been constantly pushing the boundaries for ages , he thinks it is me that has a problem , that i am too overprotective but the truth is without me and dh behind the scenes things would have been even more disastrous than they have been .
He wants everything his way and we have had violence and out of control behaviour in the past when we have stopped him . He has treated me terribly alot of the time , he really resents me reminding him to do things or trying to help him in any way . i have had to just treat each day as a fresh start and cope .
when i have sat back and let him make his own mistakes so to speak i have then had a nightmare picking up the pieces . When anything goes wrong he doesnt blame himself or learn he blames me .
For ages hes been saying ' well i can do what i like when im 18 ' every time we have had to vetoe bad choices or ideas of his .
Last week he turned 18 and hes sticking to his guns . For example , trying to give him independence i said that he would need to collect and pay for his own medication at the chemist ( he has absence epilepsy) . He said that he isn't wasting money on that , he doesn't need the medication , he doesnt believe he has absence seizures ( because he isn't aware when one has happened .) So , i'm just going to continue to do it .
Hes getting angry if i remind him to have a drink ( he goes without all day otherwise) , things like that .
hes planning to go abroad , go drinking in the pub ( medication doesnt mix with alchohol), and all sorts of stuff . Things i really don't think he should be doing yet alone . He has already had a massive tattoo that he now regrets . He just keeps getting mad and saying i can't stop him .
and i can't , can i ?
i don't know what to do , i can see the carefully constructed life that me and dh have created to keep him calm and keep things running smoothly all falling apart and it scares me !
Books - my children are younger than yours so no real advice to offer.
I think if you have a child on the spectrum reaching 18 then possibly you have to pick your battles - as parents of NT children do - but I totally accept that the medication / alcohol issue is very frightening.
Is there a doctor whom your son listens to that you could get on side?
Really sympathise and didn't want your post to go unanswered.
Must be so hard, feel for you reading this.
I agree, try and get a gp to have a chat about the medication.