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Not sure whether to be concerned about DD

(7 Posts)
Paddingtonthebear Wed 22-Feb-17 08:53:51

DD is 4.4 years old. She is happy, bright, outgoing, sociable, eats well, sleeps well and has attended nursery part time for three years. There are a few traits she has and some things about her personality that I am not sure if I should be concerned about. I could be completely way off and 90% of the time I think she is a regular kid but I just wondered if anyone has any thoughts.

Brilliant memory
Scared of sudden loud noises (fireworks, sirens, hand dryers, cinema too loud etc).
Will often cover ears if she anticipates a sudden noise.However she is fine with vacuum, hair dryer, loud music. She goes to a dance class weekly and has no problem with the loud music or disco lights.
Terrified of balloons - scared they will pop.
Scared of anyone in a fancy dress type costume.
Scared of tills in certain shops, the ones they have that have till number display boards, she won't go into TK Maxx, Boots or M & S as they have specific tills and she really screams and gets scared. She is fine in all other shops and supermarkets.
She loves cd stories and listens to them a bit obsessively, currently listening to a kids Spanish cd several times a day.
A bit obsessive about soft toys, has to have them on her bed and in a certain way. Has a routine of bringing a whole load of them down every morning.
Tendency to like things just so. Isn't bothered about mess or getting dirty but has certain routines with certain things. For example she always puts her slippers in a certain position in her room just before she goes to bed. Checks they are straight. Also has to have her drink bottle in the same place in her room at bedtime. Not bothered about it any other time. Not bothered about using the same bottles, plates generally etc though.
Loves learning. Very good speech from young age.
Not good with pain. Cries hard if she falls over and will talk about a graze or a scratch for a few days.
Learnt colours, shapes and numbers by 18 months, remembers everything. Enjoys phonics and taught herself to read basic words before she was 4. Not obsessive though. Can go a few days without wanting to look at a phonics book or practice letters. Interested in maths, can do basic subtraction and addition. Again not obsessively.
No motor problems. Very sociable as baby, walked at 10 months, good eye contact, had a great routine and slept through the night from 2 months, napped daily until she was 3. Easy to wean, easy to toilet train, physically capable - rode bike unaided at age 3, enjoys swimming lessons, enjoys dance class and able to follow instruction.
No issues at nursery except a few occasions when she has been sensitive to noise - when she was 18 months a new child joined her nursery group who cried all the time, she was distressed by it but overcame it. Very upset when a child popped a bag of crisps, hates the noise.
Never ill but wary/anxious about doctors or dentist.
Fine with change. Settles easily going on holiday etc.
Makes friends easily. Shows kindness and empathy.
Lots of imagination. Is an only child so plays alone at home, lots of role play. Talks to herself a lot when playing.
No lining up of toys or sorting.
Tendency to pick at nails/ fingers.
Fine with clothes, likes to pick what she wears but no issue with labels or texture etc
Enjoys a range of foods
Sleeps 11 hours a night, no trouble at bedtime.

I mainly think she is a normal 4 year old with a few quirks but the certain noise thing slightly concerns me, although there are lots of things she is fine with. I can't understand her fear of these certain shop tills and that has been going on for a few years now.

Obviously no one can diagnose but I just wondered if anyone had any thoughts. Thank you

Paddingtonthebear Wed 22-Feb-17 09:04:46

Forgot to add, she loves stories but finds most kids films scary, doesn't like any sort of mild threat, not even dramatic music that is building up to something in a storyline.

Areyoufree Wed 22-Feb-17 13:24:52

For me, the main criteria is whether or not the traits cause problems in everyday life. For example, my son had several meltdowns a day from the age of about 8 months (basically when he started solids) until quite recently. He had huge problems with textures and certain foods, and also with waking unexpectedly. He would also have meltdowns at night - sometimes several times in one night. However, he has always been pretty happy, has met all his milestones, very affectionate, very sociable, gets on well at preschool, so as far as I am concerned, there is no problem. My daughter has always been very anxious, easily frustrated, has difficulty socialising, can get upset at the idea of school - so, in my view, regardless of any diagnosis, she needs a little help with a few things. She struggled with preschool - it was too unstructured for her. In some ways school is better, but there are more expectations, with which she also struggles.

To be honest, if your DD is happy, settled, and sleeping well, then I probably wouldn't worry for now. It wasn't the idiosyncrasies in my daughter's behaviour that alerted me that there might be a problem - to be honest, her first childminder had been bringing up red flags for years, but we always dismissed them! I started to worry when she started to struggle, and the normal advice wasn't working.

MrsJ0612 Thu 23-Feb-17 21:43:33

Do nursery have any concerns? If not I would just see how things go. My DD was this age getting diagnosed and my DD was showing a lot more traits by this age.

Paddingtonthebear Thu 23-Feb-17 21:45:12

No concerns about her at nursery. Manager said she is just quite sensitive and very bright.

MrsJ0612 Thu 23-Feb-17 21:52:34

It could be sensory problems, we've had to pay for private occupational therapy to get my dd's diagnosed - cost an awful lot of money (not available on our local nhs!) If you think it is, or it gets to the point where it is impacting on her life then it maybe worth looking into.

Paddingtonthebear Thu 23-Feb-17 22:39:29

What sort of traits did you see at this age?

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