Development delay?

(19 Posts)
CleverQuacks Sun 01-Jan-17 18:47:27

Hi all,
I hope it's ok to post here, my son doesn't have a SN diagnosis but I am worried and think people here may be the best to advise.

My son is 20 months old. He was born at 36 weeks and following his birth (c section) he didn't breath so had to be assisted. It took them nearly 20 minutes to get him breathing on his own and then he had to go to special care with oxygen for two days. He was allowed home at 5 days old.

For the first 2 months of his life he literally did nothing but sleep. I had to wake him every three hours for feeds because he wouldn't wake up and cry but he was losing weight and very jaundice so needed regular feeds.

By 4 months my health visitor was concerned because he wasn't smiling or fixing and following things. He was referred for eye tests but that all came back clear. He finally smiled at 5 months.

He sat up at 10 months and has just started taking wobbly steps when you hold his hands. He also has no words yet and doesn't really babble.

I am very worried that he seems significantly behind but other than referring for eye tests the health visitor has done nothing.

So as not to drip feed I should say that I had postnatal depression following his birth and spent 3 months in a mother and baby unit with him. I tried to care for him as best I could at this time but obviously it's not a great start for him. I feel the health visitor thinks this is why he is so behind.

What can I do to get my concerns taken seriously?! Or should I just wait and see until he is older, maybe he will catch up?

OP’s posts: |
zzzzz Sun 01-Jan-17 20:46:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coffeemachine Mon 02-Jan-17 07:25:18

make a list with all your concerns, see the GP and ask to be referred to a paediatrician.

if he HV thinks he is delayed, what did she suggest? Has she made any referrals?

CleverQuacks Mon 02-Jan-17 11:32:17

The health visitor just keeps saying to wait until his 2year check but she said that about his 1 year check, he was not doing what he was supposed to be and she did nothing.

OP’s posts: |
zzzzz Mon 02-Jan-17 13:04:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IamSwitzerland Mon 02-Jan-17 13:12:05

Bypass HV, go straight to GP with a written list (print out this thread and take that if you like) - do not leave without a referral to paediatric consultant.

Don't be angry or confrontational just very matter of fact and persistent. Do not let your PND history affect your self-confidence now, you know your baby best.

A lot of support is available for early intervention with developmental delay, you do not have to do this on your own but the referral is needed to open the door to all the other support. Please don't "wait and see" trust your gut instinct - a wee helping hand now could make a huge difference later.

If you are worried about getting what you need from any meeting with a Dr then take a trusted someone along for support. Most Drs want to help but they need the facts and that is why taking a written list of concerns is helpful - it keeps you on track and makes sure you mention everything that matters.

coffeemachine Mon 02-Jan-17 14:55:27

in that case I would certainly go to GP and not involve HV any further. Some HVs are great but a lot are not. I found that HV often do not have any understanding of atypical development in young children.

Go to your GP and insist on a referral. good luck!

DailyFail1 Mon 02-Jan-17 15:00:01

It seems ok from my experience. I didnt sit up until 12 months (was severely jaundiced, vit d deficiency, anemic) then started walking at 18 mths though was talking. My brother was pretty much silent, like me sat up at 12 mths, walking at 20 months, and didn't talk until 3. Neither of us were considered SN, just delayed.

IamSwitzerland Mon 02-Jan-17 15:15:03

Times have changed Daily!

coffeemachine Mon 02-Jan-17 15:45:30

that is rubbish advice daily

At present, non of us can tell if the OP's DS has SN/requires intervention. That is the whole point of seeing a paediatrician: to determine if all is well or support is needed and put it in place if he has delays.

FWIW: DD sat at 8 months, walked at 16 months, first words at 16 months and she still has severe ASD and severe LD.

PolterGoose Mon 02-Jan-17 15:53:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DailyFail1 Mon 02-Jan-17 16:55:59

How is my advice rubbish or out of date? The NHS guidelines for delay suggest similar things

I personally think OP should not dwell on this and follow HV/NHS advice until 2. If there are still issues then by all means go to the GP.

zzzzz Mon 02-Jan-17 17:12:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrayedHem Tue 03-Jan-17 16:07:05

Agree with the pp who say take him to the GP and ask for a referral to a paediatrician. There is absolutely no point in waiting until he is 2, lists can be long and it's best to get him seen.

dailyfail1 that article is called "Coping with a Diagnosis" and relates to when a child has been seen by a professional and the professional uses the term development delay to describe the child's difficulties. It also says that parents should get advice from their GP. Nowhere does it say to forget about it until they are 2.

pandyandy1 Tue 03-Jan-17 21:46:38


I just wanted to say that as someone who also once spent time getting better in a mum and baby unit (admitted when my baby was 3 months and stayed for 4 months, (she's now 9 smile))... Please don't let your HV make you feel your baby has missed out in any way! You were poorly and that should not mean feeling guilty for a second xxx

blaeberry Wed 04-Jan-17 10:55:16

I agree with the others - ignore the HV and go straight to the GP to ask for a referral to a paediatrician.

There are quite a few people like Dailyfail who will try to reassure you, tell you to wait, say 'my child did nothing but when they were three they suddenly spoke well and taught themselves to read'. Some children will have a slow start then take off but it they don't you will have missed out on a lot of support/early intervention. Unfortunately, some of the people taking Dailyfail's approach include professionals such as HV and some GPs. Even around your ds age you can get early intervention in the form of portage (play therapy), occupational therapy, speech and language therapy... Actually, I would ask the GP about referrals to portage and speech and language therapy including it there are any toddler groups.

Frusso Wed 04-Jan-17 12:13:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chhalma Wed 04-Jan-17 16:29:11

I think you shoud tell ur Gp or hv for a referral to paediatrician as u r concern. We were concerned about my son when he was 14 month. Then my hv refered to pead and at 22 month we have seen by pead. And he has been diagnosis as significant global developmental delay .
And reffered to ASD clinic as she is suspecting autism.
So don't wait please. It is a long process will take time.

Thomsonandthompson Wed 04-Jan-17 20:00:00

Hi OP...I second most of what is said above. Ignore the HV and go straight to your GP for referral to the community paediatrician. If the GP tries to fob you off, insist on the referral. My DC is similar to what you have described (smiled late, stared into space, walked late,speech delay etc). you may need further tests and referrals so better the ball is rolling earlier than later. Good luck.

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