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Is this Autism or ADHD ?

(15 Posts)
notgivingin789 Sun 18-Dec-16 16:59:14

So,

Every Saturday for an hour I take DS to some sort of drama club...the routine is that we have to sit down for about 15 mins so that the tutors can explain what they are doing today.

I sat down with DS and he was fidgeting, shouting at stuff, laughing and since I was with him he "acts" up even more (he usually does this when I'm around). Is this the Autism or suspected ADHD ?

Though in school he is never like this !!! He is good as gold! He sits down, does the work and when his class went on a trip and they had to sit down for 30mins to listen to the tour guide. I saw pictures of DS sitting beautifully and when I asked the teacher "Did DS really sat down like that ?". She looked shocked and said yeah he was really good but his normally like that shock.

Am I just a crap mother not disciplining DS ? Is this just the Autism or the suspected ADHD (as I'm concerned this could be a sign of him having ADHD).

Also, DS has an additional diagnosis of Verbal dyspraxia. His speech/language and communication skills are getting so much better but! It's like since these skills are getting better, his acting up more...eg. Being cheeky, telling me off, getting a bit more frustrated. Should I be worried about this ?

Thanks all.

MerryMarigold Sun 18-Dec-16 17:03:26

A. How old is ds?

B. If he is ok in school that is very suspicious. I wouldn't think he is ADHD. Those kids have a horrible time in school. My ds1 is midly ADHD and has never been able to sit still in school (school stresses him for other reasons) as he is also more stressed in school.

I suspect he is more relaxed around you. My other ds has no issues and definitely plays up more for me, whereas the ADHD ds was always better behaved around me than in school. I realised very early on how unusual this actually is. This showed me that it was actually stress which triggers his ADHD/ anxiety/ inability to concentrate, whereas with ds2 it is the fact he is not bothered about what I think of him which triggers his bad behaviour.

PolterGoose Sun 18-Dec-16 17:14:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thisjustinno Sun 18-Dec-16 17:19:26

Doesn't sound like either.

notgivingin789 Sun 18-Dec-16 18:47:52

Maybe I am just a crap mother sad DS has started to stick his tongue at me....oh DS has just turned 7...he shouts at me, plays up with me, it's like since his communication and language skills have gotten better his being a bit--- naughty. He was never like this when he was minimally verbal. Never !

He is also sensory seeking-- so this may look like his a bit hyperactive and he stims which I think is related more to the ASD.

notgivingin789 Sun 18-Dec-16 18:51:19

Merry DS does go to a specialist schools--- so I don't know if that's the reason why his very good with them.

PolterGoose Sun 18-Dec-16 19:00:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerryMarigold Sun 18-Dec-16 20:40:45

Boys do go through a testosterone spurt.

If he is in a specialist school they should be a lot more trained to spot ADHD than we are on the internet. I would also ask for some help with parenting if you are worried it is that. I think sometimes the temptation can be to excuse everything as special needs and it is hard to draw the line where discipline and boundaries need to come into play. I am sure parents of ASD children on here could help if you start a specific thread with various incidents (even the drama club one) and ask for strategies.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sun 18-Dec-16 20:47:13

I'm a bit confused, does he already have an autism diagnosis?

If so, I really wouldn't worry about this behaviour meaning another issue - autism and ADHD have loads of overlaps. It sounds like he's acting up becaus you are there (my ds does this too). Perhaps he isn't engaged either - 15 minutes sitting still and listening to a verbal instruction is hard! I'm betting they don't expect that from him at school.

In short, dong worry. Assess if the class is something you/he want to keep doing, and if so, work with the tutors to see if there are any adjustments they can make. Like doing a fast paced warm up game first, or breaking the instructions into shorter blocks. I have a feeling all the other 7 yos will thank you for it!

zzzzz Sun 18-Dec-16 21:18:42

Being "naughty" is generally a good sign. Why do you have to be a crap parent or he have further difficulties? Couldn't it just be that as he is able to express himself better he hasn't jumped seemlessly into judging what is and isn't appropriate and you are in an adjustment period?

He sounds lovely.

notgivingin789 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:21:12

DS was assessed for autism when he was late 2...going on to three years old and it was inconclusive, he was assessed again at 4 and they said social communication disorder. DS is going to be assessed soon again (next month !) and the school and I and the professionals think he is highly likely to feta diagnosis ( I know he has Autism and it's obvious now).

At home DS just seems to want to run around at home though I think this is mainly only due to his sensory seeking behaviours. Though his good at paying attention to 1:1 activities, good at school, sitting down at doctors, dentists. His very sensory seeking when at the barbers though, so he wouldn't sit on his chair, wants to squirm around, laughing. I've noticed that when his in a place and the language demands are much much greater he loses focus very quickly.

I thought the acting up, blurting out things (being socially Inappropriate--again relating to ASD) laughing was related to the ADHD.

I think I do need to be around NT 7 year olds Polter grin.

I'll definitely be looking into parenting classes-- and yes your right, it's very hard to know if these behaviours is due to his ASD or just behaviours in itself. I do think that even though his communication skills are improving, his still quite frustrated..so I get that side of things.

It's very hard.

notgivingin789 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:25:17

Maybe it is so zzzz and thanks he is lovely (and he does make me laugh). I guess it's hard to pinpoint if it's behavioural or something deeper than that. It's weird as when DS was minimally verbal he was no trouble at all surprisingly. Now I am seeing more of a cheeky side to him...which is good in a way as his better at expressing himself.

notgivingin789 Sun 18-Dec-16 21:26:12

I don't know why my previous post is striking through some of my words hmm

zzzzz Sun 18-Dec-16 22:05:48

I should have said he sounds more able but very similar to ds1 who has a dx of ASD and severe language disorder.

Imaginosity Sun 18-Dec-16 22:27:06

My NT 5 year old is an angel in school but his behaviour with me can often be quite difficult. He's very mischievous and prone to tantrums with me - no matter what approach I try with him. I sometimes wonder what I'm doing wrong but then I see my friends' children acting in a similar fashion for them - and I just hope it's kind of normal. I thought the teacher was lying when she said he was really well behaved for her.

My 7 yr old had ASD and he also likes getting up to mischief and ignoring me when I try to get him to stop.

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