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Any positve ASD / ADHD stories to give me some hope please?

(11 Posts)
goawaycloud Wed 14-Dec-16 16:59:04

I'm after any positive stories of agressive children with ASD & ADHD calming as they get older please.
Having been through a tough spell with DS I think I just need something hopeful to hang on to. It won't always be this bad will it? He will learn to manage his anger and find other ways of calming down other than being restrained won't he?
Any advice on what I can do, what I could try?
I try not to look too far forwards (he is 11) but try to be optimistic about the future. Just struggling to find the hope at the moment so I would welcome anyones positive stories. Thanks

donajimena Wed 14-Dec-16 17:03:49

Yes. My son is 13. At 11 he was awful. He's been bloody hard work since biŕth but 11 - 12 3/4 were the worst.
Turning 13 was the reverse of kevin the teenager. He's absolutely lovely, great fun and a pleasure to be around.
We still have issues and routines we have to keep to but the explosions have stopped. Have you read the explosive child?

donajimena Wed 14-Dec-16 17:05:15

When I say awful it was only in January of this year I told my dad if he didn't go into care I would leave him.

goawaycloud Wed 14-Dec-16 17:11:09

Thank you.
That is pretty much the point I reached with him last week, I just found it all so hopeless and I was out of ideas and just wasn't sure if I can actually look after him if he doesn't change at some point. I have seen that book mentioned before but I'm not sure I have actually read it so I will take a look.
He can just flip into a mass of rage sometimes for no reason (and I try to unpick everything he does to work it out) and changes from a sweet, kind natured boy into a horror who I don't recognise. So scary.

donajimena Wed 14-Dec-16 22:20:18

I'm sorry you haven't had many replies but I'll check in tomorrow to share more x

Iamthecatsmother Tue 20-Dec-16 22:45:23

My DS was lovely!! He's 12 now and we've hit puberty grin needless to say things are very difficult at the moment, serious attitude in bucket loads. You're not alone!!

knittingwithnettles Tue 20-Dec-16 22:55:43

Ds2 is much more mature and sensible than he was at 11/12/13. He no longer gets into furious rages when people don't do what HE wants, he is very reasonable and thinks of others' point of view. He is extremely helpful with chores (more so than my NT teens) and brings me cups of tea and gives me back rubs! Ds2 doesn't really do "attitude" I think he missed out that stage, maybe it comes with sophistication? He can tick me off if he thinks I am not being fair but otherwise, he is polite and respectful.

knittingwithnettles Tue 20-Dec-16 22:58:37

I've had to restrain ds2 when he was much younger, and he has physically attacked children when he was upset, so there IS definite improvement now that he is a teen. I think he is much more aware of his emotions and how to communicate with others his feelings, likes dislikes and feels understood in return so that makes all the difference.

Understanding triggers made a big difference to my ds2's aggressiveness. We try not to put in him situations where he is "challenged" or provoked by sensory stressors/or too much going on.

Vapours Mon 26-Dec-16 19:30:57

Sorry, only just seen your thread. Ds was so aggressive he had no education until age 7! By age 5, he'd been excluded from 3 nurseries and 2 mainstream schools. One autism specialist said she'd never seen behaviour like it, that he was a "revelation!" DD could never have friends round, and dh and I took it in turns once a month to take her out for the day. Now he is 22, no violence and very little aggression. Has his own flat in a supported living house. Does his own online shopping and cooks all his own meals. Not so good at washing up thoughsmile Now able to express and discuss his feelings and calls in the office downstairs every day, chatting to the staff. Not working but as he matures I'm sure he will try something in the future. So proud of himsmile

Vapours Mon 26-Dec-16 19:48:15

Sorry, forgot advice. I would say during school years, if DS in special school pick the teachers brains for behaviour strategies. If in mainstream start a home/school book so you always know what's happening and what's working/ not working.

goawaycloud Tue 10-Jan-17 17:08:41

Sorry, I have only just seen all the replies. Thank you so much. It is lovely to hear some positive outcomes when at a really low point.
My optimism is returning with a little bit of calm. I have picked myself up and am ready to carry on the battle of life with ASD and ADHD.
Vapours, I would so love my DS to reach that point one day in his life. You must be so happy to have made it through the journey to where he is now.

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