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Help please, we need a little spontaneity!

(17 Posts)
mymatemax Sat 17-Feb-07 21:51:55

I am naturally disorganised, plan very little & generally laid back.
DS2 however cannot cope without anything that isn't pre-planned, from getting dressed, bathing, going to the shops & the order we visit the shops, we can't deviate from his routine without causing him so much distress.

It is getting worse it is increasingly difficult to get him to leave the house if it is outside his normal routine, most days I have to carry him out to the car sobbing or strap him in to his buggy while he tries frantically to pull his shoes & splints off. Despite warning him what we are doing step by step.

CDC & CAMHS are still discussing who is most suited to offer us advise so in the meantime we are not getting any help.

Does anyone know of any strategies or programmes that we can try to help us all & hopefully allow DS to become a little more flexible.
Thanks mmmax

anniebear Sun 18-Feb-07 16:21:08

sorry, I have no advice but wanted to reply

Hope some one more knowledgeable comes along soon

magsi Sun 18-Feb-07 16:38:58

Hi mymatemax. I know at my ds1's sn school they prompt the kids with pictures of where they are going next, so they have a clear picture in their head of where they are going, although it seems you are already telling him what you are going to do next. I have the same trouble with my ds1. I get on most days by bribary (a lot of gingerbread men) not ideal I know, but sometimes only biscuits will do the trick

nikkie Sun 18-Feb-07 18:25:11

NOw and next system?
Would involve pics of all places but if you could say now we are X next is Y so you could change if in town.
eg.Now - WH smith next - Debenhams
now-debenhams next-boots.
Only 2 pics at a time to deal with or you could go for a full system when we are out we are going to X ,Y , Z , bus, home

Davros Sun 18-Feb-07 19:06:38

We found a "first, then, last" panel helped a lot. Its just a laminated strip with a grid and velcro. Then attach whatever you want in the correct order and remove or cover when its done. You do need to have the right pictures though which is labourious.

moondog Sun 18-Feb-07 19:11:05

Mymate,as a salt with people with SN,we come across this a lot.
What we have found useful is picture timetables and also incorporating occasional use of a surprise/change from the norm card.

We practice using it in the class (could be going somewhere different in school or change of usual snack) and gradually extend and generalise its use.

PeachyClair Sun 18-Feb-07 19:26:55

we do this really silly exercise (a bibic one) with s12 its designed to get them used to the most basic uncertaintaies berfore you mve on

All you do, stand them up, spin them round 5 times on e way, then 5 times the other

then gently 'poke' them 6 times, ALWAYS in different places

Its about sensory stuff as well, but I found the undertainty really bugged DS1 at first, and he adaped as it went on, and did seem to help.

I know it seems bizarre

Lots of bIBIC stuff does

works though

mymatemax Sun 18-Feb-07 22:25:22

Thank you all for your ideas.
the picture timetable sounds like a good idea, particularly for weekends & holidays. The normal daily routine seems to keep him much more settled but the days we don't have much planned really seem to confuse him, iykwim.
Can it be as simple as play, lunch, go out, come home. Or does it need to be more specific??
I like the idea of the "suprise" card as ds seems to remember exactly what I say in sequence, even when I can't, So if I say we
are going to the shop, the bank, the chemist & then going to see nanny I may not really mean we are going to visit them in that order but once I've said it that is exactly what he expects.
Mags, biscuit bribery only works as it sort of stiffles his cries.. but of course he would never eat a biscuit if its broken, chipped or anything other than perfect but thats another story!

luckylady74 Sun 18-Feb-07 22:49:05

on the one hand i feel like we're not flexible at all - i always tell ds1(as) what we're doing the next day and if it's a thing he won't like such as visiting someone then it's 3 days in advance! but if i really want to do it and we've not planned it i use his obsession with toilets - this actually worked with the shoe shop last friday, but only because it was for his sib's shoes not his and i said 5 minutes in the loo before and after shoes!
i'm finding he is building uncertainty into his routine iyswim - eg he often mentions an alternate option 'if it rains' and if something has happened before ' if the pool is shut we will go to the park' which compared to the soiling the car response to the first time the pool was shut unexpectedly is much more preferable.
i find he really needs to know the end time of things so i say 'such and such has just called to say they're coming for a cup of tea - they will go before daddy gets home'
my salt saw i wasn't managing lots of symbols for a 'first then' board so advised i just do quick scribbles on a little whiteboard. hope this helps

mymatemax Sun 18-Feb-07 23:08:01

luckylady, thats the thing it seems I am strengthening his need for order by telling him exactly what we are doing but it really is the only way he can cope otherwise he is just overwhelmed.
My ds hates not seeing things to the end - TV programe's, housework, everything has to be seen to the end without interruption if we do leave the house halfway through something he expects it to be resumed as soon as we get home & gets really upset if the same programe isn't on. I also have to pre-warn him before any task so its 5 mins & then we have to do xy or z.
lol at the soiling in the car, I bet it wasn't quite so funny at the time though.

moondog Tue 20-Feb-07 21:07:04

Yes Mymate.
You can start very simply and then add more pictures.
There is a great company called Inclusive Technology which sells a lovely programme called 'Writing with Symbols'

You can use it to generate appropriate pictures. It is so easy to use.You just type a word in and an appropriATE picture (or several0 come up.

Indespensible resource

mymatemax Tue 20-Feb-07 21:12:46

Thanks for that Moondog I'll have a look.

moondog Tue 20-Feb-07 22:01:09

Do you have a salt?
They can help with all this stuff.

moondog Tue 20-Feb-07 22:03:52

Here you go

These are great people.

Incredibly helpful.

Discount for parents buying direct too.

mymatemax Thu 22-Feb-07 21:01:56

Looks fantastic Moondog thanks! I'll work out what exactly we need & get ordering.
He does have SALT at the moment its just reviews every couple of months, but I'll phone her for some advice before we order.
Thanks again.

nannynick Sat 24-Feb-07 00:18:08

If you are considering buying Writing with Symbols, then these may be worth looking at:

Assistive Technology Show and Tell Towards the bottom of this page you will find a video titled: Communicating with Writing with Symbols 2000 - Steven (2005). This shows Writing with Symbols 2000 in action.

Widgit Software - the company which wrote Writing With Symbols. Details about the software plus downloadable Resources for users.

mymatemax Wed 28-Feb-07 17:05:54

Thanks nannynick, I've not been around for a few days, Thanks for the info.

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