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I'm about to email the school and say he won't be going in tomorrow and maybe never again - AIBU?(9 Posts)
When I collected DS today (ASD diagnosed – Aspergers type) I was having a quick chat as usual with his TA when we realised he had left his watch in class, so he ran in ahead of us to get it. When we got there I found a big standoff between him and his teacher. She sounded unhinged, and like she hated him.
In his last year of infants school he was a fully integrated, valued and happy member of his mainstream class. I can understand now why things have gone to pieces since he started her class in his first year of juniors. We have tried to put so many changes in place with the head teacher but nothing has worked and his behaviour and anxiety has regressed to the level that we haven't seen since he was 4 years old, before he was diagnosed and he had any support.
She was demanding to know why he had barged in to her classroom. He stared fiddling with things and she kept telling him to stop. He finds it difficult to answer questions when put on the spot, let alone when the demands are angry. He was shrinking under the pressure but she just kept telling him off and demanding to know why he had barged in. Eventually I said he just came to get his watch. Then she was demanding that he say "please can I come in to get my watch?" He wouldn't answer and she just kept repeating this demand, still very angrily. She kept saying, just say it properly, "It is a perfectly reasonable request!" This she kept repeating over and over again, that it was a perfectly reasonable request. I felt upset and angry at this point. I eventually just led him away, not wanting him to see me get upset with the teacher.
I feel like things have got so bad that I don’t want him to go into school anymore and I’m thinking about emailing the headteacher and keeping him at home tomorrow, even though I have a job which I love. Would this be crazy and am I overreacting? It was how emotional she sounded that got me, like she really loathed him and had reached the end of her tether.
It doesn't sound good - quite confrontational. I know my ds would have been upset in that situation. I definitely would email the head and maybe say he is going to take the morning off, or he will be off until you can have a meeting to discuss.
I would keep him off tomorrow, yes. But don't withdraw him just yet. Set up a meeting with the Head and see how they respond to your concerns.
Thanks for your replies. I'll keep him off tomorrow and ask for a meeting. DP & MIL say I should say he is ill to the school otherwise it will seem too confrontational & they may close ranks. But I feel like I need to be straight with them about it?
Be honest about it. Don't make up that he's ill.
Don't say he's ill. Be honest and say how you feel. Otherwise how will they know or offer to make things better? If you don't want to send him back that's fine but just be honest and say you need to find a new school if you feel that's the only option.
The teacher sounds awful!
Thanks! He is at home today. We already had arranged someone from a local autism charity coming into school on Tuesday to observe and advise. In my email to the school this morning I just said he would not be coming in today and at least not until the woman from the charity comes in on Tuesday and that I would call the head when I got the chance (not looking forward to that!) DS is already unwinding and more like himself.