Starting school in 2017 support thread

(113 Posts)
Frogandbear Tue 22-Nov-16 14:01:48

This thread is inspired by another thread where I was sharing my concerns about my DS starting school next year. Wouldn't it be great if those in the same boat could have a place to share their concerns and ask questions. smile

So let's introduce ourselves:

1. Tell us about your child
2. What type of school are you looking at for next year?
3. Have you applied for an EHCP? What stage of the process are you at?
4. Any concerns/questions you have

I'll go first wink

1. DS is 3 and a half - gorgeous, easy going and with a giggle that would fail to make anybody smile grin. He also has asd, is non verbal but his struggles outside of communication/interaction are relatively few. He is happy and marches to the beat of his own drum and that makes me happy too smile.

2. Having looked at what seems like every type of school possible, we have pretty much decided on a ms primary, although I would be open to home educating if that was required at the time.

3. Applied back in September....decision on whether to assess is LATE. Will be phoning SEN helpline tonight for advice on how to proceed.


Your turn grin

OP’s posts: |
originalusernamefail Tue 22-Nov-16 21:55:20

I am on the last thread and hope you don't mind me pushing in with this one, but your DS and mine seem so similar I couldn't resist.

1. DS is 3.2, non verbal and not particularly interested in PECs or Makaton. He doesn't particularly have any serious sensory or rigidity issues in my opinion but tends to repeat a lot of the same 'games' when playing. We received his diagnosis of ASD today so all still quite raw.

2. I feel that nearly all his 'problems' stem from his inability to speak / understand language. Any tips gratefully received grin.

3. I am open to either ms or ss or even dsp provision but hope it's better organised than the support we've received so far.

4. Waiting for an early years inclusion panel and meeting with ed psych next month.

originalusernamefail Tue 22-Nov-16 21:55:52

Sorry that was long blush

HHH3 Tue 22-Nov-16 22:10:46

Can I join in please?

1. DS2 is 3 (4 in a couple of weeks). Severe speech disorder and speech and language delays. Under genetics (still waiting for answers). CDC yesterday talked about referring for assessment for ASD (not news to me!). His speech is still basically unintelligible but we've just started using AAC on an iPad and he's doing brilliantly with it. But he's happy and confident and manages to melt my heart almost every daysmile

2. I've looked at SS, S&L units and every MS in our town. Just started looking at village schools. I'm no nearer to making a decisionconfused

3. He got his EHCP last month.

4. So many I can't even begin to start! I'm second guessing myself and everything else. Just hoping that I'll find a school that feels right because if I don't I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

Frogandbear Tue 22-Nov-16 22:16:08

Hi Original

You're right - they do sound very similar smile Although, my DS now uses PECs which is wonderful and definitely a game changer. Now that you have a diagnosis, if you are offered a SALT course to learn PECS grab it with both hands - I couldn't recommend it highly enough.

I agree, I also think that DS's problems circle around speech/communication. We always say that if DS could talk then we wouldn't think too much of any of his other issues because they seem relatively mild to us. May I ask how much your DS understands? Does he follow instructions or anything?

Hope you're feeling ok after your DS' diagnosis. I remember the feeling well - I cried in the car park afterwards but then this massive sense of relief came over me, like we could finally move on with our lives.

OP’s posts: |
Frogandbear Tue 22-Nov-16 22:23:06

HHH3 We have just recently found a ms school we really liked. It was the Senco that finally nailed it for us.

My advice is to talk to the senco about the possibility of your child attending the school and see their reaction. A great Senco will be very positive and welcoming (ours even offered to help us with the EHCP forms smile). A not so great one (like one we recently met) might start suggesting other schools for you to look at, and you will just get the feeling that it isn't the right place for your child.

OP’s posts: |
originalusernamefail Tue 22-Nov-16 23:08:42

Hi Frog, it's hard to say but I'm not sure DS understands very much of what we say at all sad. He will gladly follow an instruction that's comes with an object of reference I.e if I say, 'time to go out' with his coat in my hand. If it's just the words it's very hot and miss. I do think sometimes its whether he wants to or not grin. If it's ok to ask, how is your sons understanding? I keep asking SALT about receptive delay, but they just nod and smile and say it will come in time ........

Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 06:15:33

Excellent thread.

Dd is three and half, preverbal but severe language disorder, rigid with sensory issues. Is very anxious with a lot of issues. Thankfully is toilet trained.

We've just applied again for an ehcp as we applied last year and were turned down. This year we have a medical diagnosis and also our asd diagnosis. Plus more people in our corner.

Sadly provision locally is lacking. My other dd who is six and has autism is in our local mainstream so dd will also be going there though I'm not sure how she (nor I) will cope. Other dd with asd will move to juniors so by September I'll likely be very on edge.

We're in Essex.

Frogandbear Wed 23-Nov-16 09:37:29

Original I think DS' receptive language isn't too bad. If we ask him where anything is i.e. 'where is the pink ball?' he can point to it. He can now follow one-step instructions (most of the time and when he wants to), i.e. go and sit in your chair, give me your cup, go upstairs, etc. For a long time he wasn't responsive to instructions and would just ignore with a glazed look, so his progress lately has been pleasing.

I'm not sure if it's linked but his twin brother (who doesn't have asd), his receptive language blossomed when he started talking.

Hi Msqueen smile I always see you around the boards. Glad you could join us.

OP’s posts: |
Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 12:28:22

I'm normally floating about or sobbing in a corner as it feels at the moment. We got dd's preschool report and of course they measure in age. I'm trying to see it as just a number but it's awful to read.

Frogandbear Wed 23-Nov-16 13:19:46

Msqueen I know that feeling well. I cringe everytime I read a report on DS - I don't think it could be worse if they tried - part is disbelief on my part and not recognising the child that they have written about. May I ask what age your DD's development is at?

OP’s posts: |
Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 13:40:00

Horrible isn't it.

Personal and social: 32-36 except managing behaviours which was 8-20 😮

Language/communication - listening attention 8-20 months and the others 16-26

Physical 22-36 months
Literacy and maths 16-26
Understanding the world - 16-26 months and the world 22-36

Expressive arts 22-36 months

She's 42 months old 😢

I remember when my middle dd was younger I used to pore over the reports and it broke my heart a little bit more each time until I learnt to detach myself and realise she isn't just a number. This is the first real report I've seen for my youngest and I'm trying to console myself with that she might be at the end of 22-36 and it's not too bad. She's apparently moving into some of the order brackets but isn't secure so they can't put her in them.

But they are awful. And I try very hard not to chuck them in the bin.

HHH3 Wed 23-Nov-16 14:18:37

I totally understand the reading reports thing. DS is 22-36 emerging in a lot of areas. It's so hard to read because to me he's just DS and perfect just as he is. I do worry about him falling further and further behind at school though.

Have been to look at 2 schools today (still lots more to go). Second school was lovely but just didn't feel right. Loved the first school though. It's tiny - just over 50 pupils in total! Has a real family feel. And I really liked the SENCO.

Still more to see but I actually feel like I'll be able to find somewhere for him now. I might even find more than 1 and then have to choosegrin

Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 14:37:38

Hhh3 I'm hugely envious of your choices 🙂 It's nice when the school has a good feel as in part that's the main thing. Ours is determined by siblings and the Sen provision is okay and probably the best in the area. I'd ideally love somewhere with a unit but they seem few and far behind.

Sounds like your ds is doing well. I think you just see them as them but the reports pick them apart and somehow make them seem less. I'm probably over sensitive.

Dh will be happy that she got an okay score in maths as neither of the other DC are good at maths.

I do feel for my youngest dd as it took a year (thanks to useless doctor) to get her diagnosed with an autoimmune disease that made her very sick.

Thank god for Christmas and the availability of cheap chocolate to get me through. Dd2 is struggling due to routine change at school and I'm on countdown for her to have a break.

Frogandbear Wed 23-Nov-16 14:46:14

Tha's something that I didn't understand on the report. What do the terms entering/developing/emerging mean when next to the developmental age?

OP’s posts: |
HHH3 Wed 23-Nov-16 15:04:53

I'm in a very fortunate position in that he has an EHCP so I can basically choose. And DS1 is at secondary so gets himself there and back. It does, however, leave me with a lot of schools to look at and at times I've been almost paralysed by the enormity of it - especially as I'm his only parent so it all falls to me.

I think a base would actually be very good for him but there are none here except a S&L base. And while his most obvious need is S&L, that particular school is just not right for him.

I'm not actually sure what those terms mean! But he's got emerging on all of them so as I'm about to pick him up I might ask what it means.

Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 15:36:09

Ours seem to have changed and they don't look at emerging/secure etc any more. I'm guessing it use to mean the skills in that age group where beginning to develop.

HHH3 Wed 23-Nov-16 15:38:07

Just asked at nursery...

Emerging is meeting a few of the skills.
Developing is around 50%.
Secure is most/all.

Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 17:52:26

That's interesting to know.

Is anyone else petrified about them starting school?

Frogandbear Wed 23-Nov-16 18:47:45

Thanks HHH3 that makes sense smile

Msqueen33 Petrified grin but it can't be any worse than nursery and he's not doing too badly there. Also, once the EHCP is in place, he should have a fulltime 1-1 so that gives me peace of mind too. Whether he will learn anything is a different matter.....although apparently reception is just like nursery, so a gentle start. smile We also have to remember that a lot of things can change in nine months. smile

OP’s posts: |
HHH3 Wed 23-Nov-16 22:09:00

Completely petrified!

elliejjtiny Wed 23-Nov-16 22:28:32

Hi everyone.

Ds4 is 3.5. hydrocephalus, cleft lip/palate and global development delay. 11 general anaesthetics so far. He enjoys his sn preschool and is very happy most of the time.

We're looking at Ms primary

No ehcp yet, we have a meeting coming up about it

I'm terrified

Msqueen33 Wed 23-Nov-16 23:33:04

One positive I have is that I never thought my six year old would settle into mainstream. She's fiesty, loud and hated nursery. First year was a tough adjustment for her but she does really enjoy school. She has a ft 1:1 and does have moments of stress but she has come so far.

brightbelle Thu 24-Nov-16 08:17:32

Hello! My dd is going to reception next year too, a lot of worries and concerns but I'm trying to take things as they come. Applied for EHCP and now waiting to hear if hers will be assessed - trying to be relaxed about it and prepared for appeal wink

Talking about the secure/emerging etc things in the reports, I used to be upset by them but not anymore now. I remember one time her key person put something down and I told her it's not right as dd can do xyz at home. She said 'yes but I can only report what I've seen here'. Now I feel that the most important thing is I know whether dd can do something or not, if it's true that she cannot do something I will support her to develop that area. Of course it would be good if she can show it to others, but I just know she's not a performing seal wink

brightbelle Thu 24-Nov-16 08:22:47

Msqueen it's lovely to hear about your other dd's development and settling in well in mainstream smile life maybe a bit harder for us but I always try to be positive about the future as I feel dd needs a supportive and positive Mom!

HHH3 would you mind I ask at what point of the EHCP process that you have to name a school on the plan? Thanks!

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in