Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
AIBU to not get her Match Attax?(4 Posts)
DD2 has one friend, who has another friend who is 'friendly' with DD2 but only really because she's friends with the girl that he really likes. They play games which DD2 sometimes enjoys (if she understands it and can be an alicorn) but often doesn't understand and then feels very lonely.
DD2 noticed that some of the boys collect Match Attax cards so asked if she too could collect them. Her reasoning is that then she would have something to do when her friends are playing a game she can't understand (i.e. doesn't involve alicorns).
My concern is:
-she has no interest in football
-she doesn't care what the football clubs are
-she doesn't care who the footballers are
-she doesn't want to watch football to find out
I feel that she is going to feel just as left out with the Match Attax because she only wants them to try and fit in, without wanting to make any of the efforts that would allow her to fit in. On one hand I don't think she should have to pretend to like football to join a crowd. On the other hand I think that if you're going to join a crowd with a common interest you have to at least try to share the interest.
So I've talked to her and explained my concerns, which revealed a lot of sadness at feeling lonely at break time,so I feel rubbish. But did I do the wrong thing? It doesn't feel right to encourage her to be false (which is what it is as she's admitted she doesn't care less about football). But aren't we all a bit false at times? I sit at work and listen to people harp on about some pointless soap and I smile and make a polite comment rather than saying 'well that's 15 minutes of my life I'll never get back'.
I would get some if ds asked (also no interest in football). He struggles when people at school are playing something he doesn't like so it would help if he could come up with something else to do. Collecting can be a really satisfying experience in itself and swopping/comparing is a good form of social contact, the subject matter of the swops could be anything really.
I agree about the being false e.g. going to gigs/films/matches that you aren't really into because a friend or partner wants to go.
DS is really into maths, not football, and for him they have been a great bridge to the other children. He has learned a lot about football, and developed an interest. It is so nice to hear him talking about the famous footballers now rather than just the card numbers as he did at first. He couldn't fake an interest even if he wanted to though, so the whole fakeness angle hadn't even occurred to me, but I do think you take from them what you want. It doesn't have to be about football.
We did have in mind that because SO many of the boys are totally football mad, it was worth giving him every opportunity to develop an interest in it. I don't think he has really watched any but he is a whizz at league tables and transfer fee stats now
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.