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17 YO DS ??dyslexia/praxia ADD just dropped out(contract ended) of college

(5 Posts)
mum2anxious Mon 31-Oct-16 23:44:56

My younger DS who has struggled through school despite my attempts to get him help, has finally given in and left college after 1 year of AS. He scraped through with low grades but says he cannot bear going on as he does not feel motivated. He was seen age 3 by paediatric development team who judged him to be ahead of his years both cognitively and verbally. I cant remember why he was seen - he had delayed bone growth and diagnosed with lax ligaments. he was talking fluently age 11 months and counting to 20 at 18 months. ( I did not hot house or push him at all).
we started to suspect dyslexia at primary school and requested assessment which they did but said he was 'not at risk' . I said that getting muddled up between went/where/was/want aged 11suggested to me he did have dyslexic type issues - ?? anyway to cut a long story short, he became the class clown through secondary school, always in trouble, refused to do h/w - teachers codulnt understand he'd rather do the detention than h/w. we believe he is on ASd/PDA spectrum but never pushed diagnosis because we went through it with elder DS and it has been a nightmare - the whole SEN legal battles.( they are however very different , the other one was very quiet and vulnerable).

Now i am wondering is there any point in trying to get my younger one assessed or is it too late, should I just let him leave. He's been ' spotted' by well known model agency and this could likely take off once he is out of college. But I know he is very intellgent/creative (but has low self esteem, not helped by is difficulties) and wanted him to have chance of fulfilling that.

I would not be able to afford private reports for tribunals etc, and really is there time anyway, in my experience it has taken years to get help for the other one. i though it might help him to have an initial EP assessment just so he can hear someone recognise his gifts/difficulties. Throughout his secondary years he was told ' we would expect you to write more' - even though they knew he had lax ligaments ( though mild)and did nothing.
He wanted to do gcse history, but the teacher told him what i said above re the writing, so he didn't do it. He did medieval history AS and got a D, despite a lot of absence. He knows he has ability but struggles in a class of 20 people, says he is very self conscious about the other people in his class and his mind taken up with those concerns so he misses content of lesson - says he is fine if tutor goes through with him 1:1.
College have blamed his issues on him being 'depressed' and unmotivated but have not recognised he has LDDs.

I am also concerned as he's developed a head tremor whilst concentrating, and watching him trying to fill in a form is terrible, it looks like he's having to really concentrate and to form letters so slowly. He has had some drug issues and i now dont know if this is an effect of that or if he has something going on.

they have now closed his contract, said even if he wanted to continue he's missed too much. I dont blame them ( they have been quite patient) but at same time I feel he's been let down.

thank you for reading if you got this far! Id appreciate any advice.

tartanterror Tue 01-Nov-16 19:21:20

I'm sorry to hear about your son's troubles. The EHCP process might be the way forward as that might leave the door open for qualifications until age 25. It sounds like you had a terrible time with your other child, but it sounds like it might be worth considering. Trouble is that beyond age 16 he will be asked and if he doesn't want to stay in education no one can make him.

If writing is a big issue can you still help him by encouraging touch typing and keyboarding skills? My DS finds writing very difficult and he's also non compliant at school to avoid writing. Teachers don't know what to do about it it seems.

Otherwise can you look into distance learning courses? If he can find something of interest he might be more interested- motivation is key.... have you seen the Asperger Expert website? There are quite a few free films on YouTube and free webinars alongside the courses they sell

tartanterror Tue 01-Nov-16 19:23:12

Sorry I forgot to say your son sounds a bit like my ASD/Aspie DS so it might be worth getting a CAMHS assessment

mum2anxious Fri 04-Nov-16 00:19:45

Thanks for your reply tartan terror, for some reason not linked to my inbox. Cant believe I wrote the above , did go on a bit didn't I! Well, I'm teetering on the brink of an EP assessment. He's done a CV and said he was going out today to get a christmas job, then spent whole day indoors looking miserable.
Just the word CAMHS fills me with dread...I cant go near them again.
I thought about internet school a few weeks ago but he didn't like my suggestion saying he preferred having to go out to college...and then didn't go. He's got the offer of a pucker modelling contract in the pipeline...but won't do anything towards it. Everything he wants to do, he avoids. Now complaining that his plans have all gone wrong. PDA with a capital P.
Re the writing, I think it's also the aspect of getting thoughts from brain to paper that is slower and not sure his typing is much better. College did mention to me using dragon i think but it never materialised. I think they did a writing test and they said he was slow, but not enough to get extra time for exams. In his exams he struggled to finish any of the papers

Going for an echp will take years , first they'll say he doesnt need one and Ill have to appeal, then wait ages for assessments in which they will lie, then they'll take similarly ages to produce a draft plan, delay the final plan and then Ill have to appeal again. By which time he'll have done A levels btec whatever and be at university, working or travelling the world in which case the echp would cease.!!

i'll take look at that website, sounds interesting and might be hopeful.

Mary21 Fri 04-Nov-16 16:10:20

It sounds as if your ds has been communicating via his behaviour the whole of secondary school an college that his needs aren't being met.
An ed psych report may help him as it will point out strengths and weaknesses. A diagnosis may also be really helpful to him. Do you think he is depressed.
A visit to the gp re the head tremor may be in order. I think you are going to have to put your past traumas with Camhs and sen behind you.
He might not qualify for a ehcp or he might but if he does it will allow him time till age twenty five to get a levels or btec so rather than age nineteen.

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