High chance of autism for my 22 mo DS. What now!?

[Heytheredelilah1987]

Hi everyone,
Please forgive me as this is going to be long , but I wish to explain as best I can our experience! :)

For some time now we have suspected something could be different about our DS; mainly his extreme tantrums (bites himself and doesn't notice the pain despite piercing skin and bruising and also head buts floor and others) these tantrums can last over half an hour at a time. He also isn't very interested in other despite and quite often gets annoyed by anyone trying to interrupt his play- which mainly consists of lining cars up around him or laying on the floor and watching the wheels spinning a car or repeatedly going around or up and down the room with a car) he hates playgroups and can't abide sharing or anyone so much as looking at something he has at times ! He doesn't share what he's doing with me - never brings anything over for me to look at and would never let me read with him. He's literally transfixed by the TV and will ignore anyone and everything if it's on and just sit transfixed. He doesn't respond to his name if he's playing with something or watching TV and doesn't seem interested in communicating with others his age much - when he tries to its very loud and comes across and aggressive- likes he shouting at them not trying to engage. It's like he wants to but can't. Always on his terms if he cuddles. He doesn't really wave or point but can occasionally to get his needs met. His eye contact is ok but not brilliant and he doesn't like engaging in songs or any sort of nursery rhymes with me- he may tolerate it for a second then push me away. He says several words but has regressed and lost words too. He also used to sing incy windy spider and do the actions... no he won't/ can't and won't allow you to even sing it (has a major meltdown) he's basically very difficult in situations involving lots of other children around and chooses to go away and play alone or he has a meltdown and cannot cope.

Several family members have expressed concern. This resulted in an assessment and observation by my partners aunt who is a Consultant in Clinical psychology and her expertise is in SN. She basically explained it's very likely he is autistic and she would diagnose him but it would be unethical as she's family. We have a referral to the paediatrician and I'm hoping for dx soon.

Writing everything down makes it very apparent something is different and it's likely my son has ASD. However I still find myself thinking... maybe not, but I know deep down.

He's loving and fun in his own ways ; but admittedly lives in his own wee world for the large part- yet he seems happy! He does have extreme meltdowns especially in public but other than that he is ok- especially in his own environment. So I'm grateful he isn't too distressed by anything.

I suppose what I'm asking is what now? I would consider him high functioning but is it too early to tell? From what I've explained does it sound mild or moderate in terms of ASD? I'm just so uncertain about it all...

Sorry for the epic war and peace! I just need to talk somewhere where people will hopefully understand! I feel quite alone in all this despite such wonderful family support.

[Heytheredelilah1987]

Oh- he's also started doing a pointed finger movement around his face and he is arching his body rigid whilst looking up at the ceiling ... it's a very rigid kind of movement ...

[Heytheredelilah1987]

He also babbles a lot to himself... his sister is 3 and I recall her doing similar babbling but much younger. ... she's very advanced and sociable etc so it makes his differences even more apparent- although I try not to compare. I love them both for their own ways.

[FrayedHem]

You're doing the right thing in getting him seen by a paediatrician. With the communication/loss of language issues you describe I would also refer to Speech and Language Therapy asap. You should be able to do that directly, either by attending a drop-in clinics or by ringing your SALT department.

I know it's impossible to stop your mind racing ahead, so I won't tell you not to. But..I wouldn't be surprised if a paediatrician would be reluctant to be drawn on where your DS is on the spectrum at 22 months (if he is diagnosed). Tbh at this point it's all about getting support in place for things like preschool and practical advice on what you can do with him at home to help expand his skills.

It can be a difficult time and it's really good you have a supportive family. This board really helped me get through DS1's diagnosis, so do stick around.

[Heytheredelilah1987]

Thanks Fraya. I am ringing the HV today to get some more info on SEN nurseries and will speak with her about the language help.

Thank you. I'm just feeling so lost at the minute.