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Both boys at risk of suspension

(21 Posts)
Twinkletowedelephant Wed 19-Oct-16 18:45:39

Was caught on the hop to attend a meeting today after pick up, it appears they had enough time to call in a govenour though...

Both my boys are 'at risk ' of exclusions one has adHD and is unmedicated at the moment whilst waiting for a repeat prescription...he is in their words impossible to teach ( he managed three years at infant school and learnt a hell of a lot without meds but 3 days unmedicated has been enough)
We have finally got his meds now so he should be fine.
Second son has ASD he has apparently been attacking his teachers - first I've heard of him being aggressive. School insist that I go in to school with him so they can learn how to cope with him. Again his previous school he thrived. This school only say they have no funding for him without a statement - his last school said he wouldn't qualifie for one.
He has turned into a very upset and angrey little boy in the few weeks he is there he is very unhappy. His teacher although is very nice is very young and slight and doesn't seem capable of controlling the class's let alone handle my sons additional needs.
The deputy head mentioned how they have 16 other boys with ASD and hasn't seen anything like it. I quietly reminded them that ASD is a spectrum and it is unlikely 2 children would have the same needs.

They bought a Sensory tent implied it was for my son it wasn't I know it was for another child I know his mum. In any case it has been broken ( not by ds ) so he won't use it as it is broken.

Can the school insist I go in everyday. I really want to help him settle but it's the only time I get any respite from the kids.

PolterGoose Wed 19-Oct-16 18:51:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twinkletowedelephant Wed 19-Oct-16 18:59:59


I just don't want to end up being the free ta in the class I know lots of the children so I think my time would be divided ( I use to help out and read at school) it was also suggested I go for lunchtime break as that's when he struggles....I assumed that's why they had play leaders and a special area for kids with sen ( he won't access this as his twin does and they don't get along )

FrayedHem Wed 19-Oct-16 20:58:09

No, they can't insist and their approach is pretty concerning. As PolterGoose said above, they need to be talking to the LA to request extra funds and support. You can apply for an ECHP as a parent and in your position I would start that process asap.

FrayedHem Wed 19-Oct-16 21:01:29

And I would respond formally declining their request by email or letter as I think having a paper trail would be in your best interests.

Twinkletowedelephant Wed 19-Oct-16 21:24:16

She kept mentioning there wasn't enough funding.... both have an iep in place and a tatf.

He did so well at his last school and I know they did a fantastic handover it just seems like no one bothers to follow through...
Speaking with him tonight it seem some of the ' girls' I assuming ta have been grabbing him when he gets upset...I think this may be why he is lashing out he didn't like people he didn't know touching him.
Even walking past his class today he had 3 different people working with him over an hour no wonder he is so lost

FrayedHem Wed 19-Oct-16 22:08:25

But even if they are struggling to get extra funding, their answer shouldn't be to ask the parent to fill the gap. They need to follow procedures; if they are throwing around the possibility of exclusion, there is a very strict protocol they need to follow. It's not something I've had to deal with yet(!), but IPSEA have details on their website on what the school needs to be doing. And there should also be LA staff the school can call in for advice; some areas have specialist teachers, others behaviour support so it's not just about them asking for extra money.

And if they corner you on the hop again, try and say No but if they call/email you with some time and dates you will get straight back to them.

OneInEight Thu 20-Oct-16 06:20:56

No they can't insist you go in but they are perfectly within their rights (legally if not morally) to exclude if your boys have challenging behaviour particularly if they are aggressive towards staff. Mine were anyway. The only good thing that came out of the exclusions is that it did create a paper trail of evidence that supported our application for a statement (now EHCP plan). I think you have to look at the long term goals. If going into school for a short time would help them then I would suggest doing so even though you shouldn't have to as we found exclusions had a damaging effect on my ds's mental health. We also found that if we were prepared to work with school they were more supportive of us and they did put up with an awful lot in fairness. BUT I would make sure there is a paper trail stating they have needed this support and to put a limited timescale on it after which if they are still struggling there is an agreement with school to support an EHCP application.

youarenotkiddingme Thu 20-Oct-16 07:17:30

No they can't insist you go in.

You can mention thier duty though to do everything possible to meet need including contacting outside agencies and seeking advice from professionals such as ed pysch, autism outreach, local special schools etc.

I'd also email to comfort, the meeting and 'clarify'.


Dear HT,

Thankyou for meeting on X date where you informed me X and y are at risk of part time exclusion.

We didn't discuss how you are going to endeavour to prevent this course of action.

Please reply to my email confirming what strategies you are putting in place, who will advise from local services and by what date you expect this plan to be finalised.

(Or something related to conversation.) I wouldn't mention they suggested you coming in as woukd be better for you that it's not mentioned again (so you don't get roped into it!) or the school hang themselves by making the suggestion.

OneInEight Thu 20-Oct-16 07:55:23

Actually it might also serve you well to contact the LA's exclusion officer. The HT should have contact details if you can't find them. A large part of their job is to prevent exclusions and we found them useful in telling the HT the legalities of what they could and couldn't do and know what support agencies are around in your LA.

Twinkletowedelephant Fri 21-Oct-16 11:33:11

I have just had to collect him from school.

I got a call from the office asking me to collect him. No details, I thought he had had an accident.

I turn up to be shown through to him in the sensor tent with the govenour from the meeting . He wasnt quite sure what happened he said he thinks d's flicked his teachers badge and then nearly kicked her when he was in the Sensory tent.
I was told the deputy head would contact me.

All his stuff was bagged up and we were rushed out the door.

I still not quite sure what has happened - if he has been suspended or not no idea.

D's is very upset as he is not sure what's going on in have tried to explain it was because he hurt his teacher but he said he didn't hurt her. D's said he is feeling very sad and has written to his teacher to say sorry.

Not quite sure what to do next really

DinnerIsDrivingMeBONKERS Fri 21-Oct-16 11:43:59

If there is no paperwork it is an illegal exclusion!

OneInEight Fri 21-Oct-16 11:56:30

So sorry it has come to this.

BUt they have to give you a formal exclusion letter stating reasons and contact details for appeal. They should tell you how long he is being excluded.

They can not simply send him home because they have had enough. This is an illegal exclusion although certainly our HT was not aware of this. LA exclusions officer put her right.

They should send work home.

How on earth has a governor got involved to supervise your ds. Surely not their remit. Have they been trained? Mind boggles at being excluded for almost doing something. Surely the child actually has to do it?

ZuleikaDobson Fri 21-Oct-16 23:57:29

So if the school says they have no funding without an EHCP, what have they done about applying for one?

You need to write to/email the head formally to ask whether DS was excluded and, if so, ask him to send the formal exclusion letter forthwith - that will tell you how long the exclusion is for and about things like your right to ask the governors to review the exclusion. If he doesn't send the letter, make a formal complaint about the illegal exclusion and disability discrimination involved and warn him that you will not collect your child again unless he is formally excluded or genuinely ill.

yippeekiyay2 Sat 22-Oct-16 22:03:43

Hi I agree with posts saying put all in writing to school and ask them to confirm the strategies they are trying/have tried, confirm if they have yet sought support from la e.g. Specialist or inclusion teachers and also they have currently illegally excluded as was mentioned so confirm this also and get clarity on how and when your son will return. I cannot recommend enough contacting ipsea, there is some information on their website but also book a slot for a telephone call. I did recently for possible disability discrimination by school against my dd (asd) and the mention of the law to them and that I would pursue a claim against them if they did it seems to have been enough to ensure inclusion for her at the moment. The telephone call gave me the information and confidence to use it. Good luck

Twinkletowedelephant Mon 31-Oct-16 12:32:13

The school senco has just called me. To ask if it's OK that an out reach school can come in to see ds...they are coming today.

I asked her about what happened on friday, whether d's was suspended and what actually happened she said she was off Friday but she thinks he kicked a teacher... the govenour I spoke to when collecting my son Friday told me ds had flicked his teacher landyard and nearly kicked her while he was in the Sensory tent.

She has said she I'll find out the information asked for and get back to me.

It's parents evening his week so no idea what is going on at all.

It just seems that grey are doing nothing to help him despite all the people they have asked in. Nothing has changed I don't believe any practices the OT suggested has been put in place. The only thing that have done is built what looks like a fence around his desk which cuts him off from the rest of the class.

The current headteacher don't believe in ASD or adHD and is currently sharing the title with the senco who seems to have no idea what to do.

I don't know what to do for the best.

It doesn't help that his twin is thriving with his teacher who has put so many little things in place to make the classroom work for him..
I just feel I am letting him down massively

SerendipityPhenomenon Mon 31-Oct-16 15:50:53

Have you still had no letter about the exclusion? That's massively illegal. Tell them that in future you won't be picking your son up when asked unless they provide formal exclusion letters.

Otherwise you really need to ask for an EHC needs assessment. There's information on the IPSEA website about it.

Twinkletowedelephant Mon 31-Oct-16 16:06:33

The head of year spoke to me after school today... she said they thought it was best that ds came home to calm down so he wasn't angry all afternoon...

That's it that's all the explanation I got

lougle Wed 02-Nov-16 14:25:00

So are they admitting that it is an illegal exclusion? Tbh at this stage I think you need to phone the exclusions officer at the LA, explain that you were summoned to collect your DS, but that nobody seems to agree as to whether your DS actually kicked a teacher or 'nearly' kicked a teacher and that you have been given no exclusion paperwork. Explain that you are 'quite baffled' as to whether your DS was indeed excluded on Friday, as you have no paperwork, or if he wasn't,why you were asked to collect him, because he wasn't unwell and in your opinion was fit to attend school as he is legally required to.....let them see the picture.

Twinkletowedelephant Wed 02-Nov-16 14:49:55

I had to go into school yesterday got a call at 11 to save that ds was cross and when he was waving a pencil round he stabbed a member of staff with it.
He was put in the sensory tent ( which he hates) and managed to 'stab' another member of staff in the leg with the same pencil.
School have agreed he needs a 121 and have started advertising for one.

He nearly kicked a member of staff. They thought this was serious as another member of staff may not have moved out of his way and may of been kicked. I am guessing that as they didn't try to send him home yesterday but instead asked me to go in all afternoon with him. They know what they did was wrong .

Ds was perfectly fine all afternoon despite an incredibly long and very dull re lesson no allowances at all were made no movement breaks planned he was permitted to just wander out if the class whenever he felt like it the work was done then put in recycling...I said ds could take his home which he was happier about.

It seems his problems occur when his teacher is out of the room or when one of the many adults they find to sit with him - attempt to make him do something he isn't capable of...

SerendipityPhenomenon Thu 03-Nov-16 13:49:59

They shouldn't be asking you to go in and do their jobs for them. Seriously, whilst you do that you're removing any incentive for the school to sort things out properly. I would start telling them you're not available when they try to call you in, and you're not going to collect him unless they give you a formal exclusion letter when you arrive.

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