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HELP! Pls share your experiences with SENSORY problems, adult or child?(11 Posts)
My 10 year old has a lot of issues (too long to mention!) he is ASD and has severe anxiety. He missed most of the last school year due to refusal, attendance board involved etc etc. I think he had a break down earlier this year due to circumstances at home. He didn't leave the house for a month, pulsing get dressed, lived in same pjs 24/7. Anyway thank fully he started year 6 very positive. He isn't wearing full uniform, he wears polo shirt school fleece, joggers and trainers. School are ok with this.
He was doing well, getting changed in te mornings but taking forever. Anyway the last few weeks he has been getting worse. The school are just saying he's probably just tired as a long term. Yes he probably is but this is the last 3 weeks? This morning we were late. He was fine all morning, came upstairs to get dressed. Pants are itching l(next boxers the only ones he will wear) he's pulling at them crying. Sobbing and crying saying he wishes he was 'normal'. It's breaking my heart. I tried putting him in the shower as that used to work. He was sobbing in the shower. Get him out and was distracting him and he stops crying enough to look at something on my phone.... I get him down stairs in a towel, get his polo shirt on. To cut a very long story short eventually got him dressed and out the door.
Once he's out the door he's ok. He didn't complain once on the 5 min walk to school?
So Iv tried every thing and anyone who came across my posts 6 months ago will probably remember! All his clothes are washed in non bio, use pure fabric conditioner and I tumble dry everything of his or he won't even touch it. Have been on sensory websites and there is hardly anything for his age. He didn't like the pants or socks. He wears the same joggers (diff colour) weekends aswell and only one specific t shirt (I have 2 of them).
Ot showed deep pressure massage etc and although he likes it it makes no difference? They think is anxiety is making it worse and yes I agree. He's struggling at school (he says) but they say he's really focuses and doing well? I applied for ehcp but got refused. School saying they have to do 3 lots of school action plus and then they will apply (prob next year) don't get me started on ehcp though! This doesn't solve my problem at home. He gets very aggressive, has ocd tendencies, has his own quirks and I can deal with all of these but I can't deal with the clothes. I'm a lone parent and he has a younger brother I also have to get to school.
Any tips? What has helped you, if your an adult with sensory problems or have a child with it?!?
Sounds very much like my dd. What we did was nothing to do with sensory created a new timetable for her to get ready. It's worked all term, but I must say that it's getting jaded ATM. She's less likely to stick to it. Once. Get to school, we now have problems getting her into class, so I have to come into the school and take her to the stairs.
For years though, our problem was getting to school. Like you, showers worked. But they decreased in their effectiveness. She's still currently going to school in sandals, and it is cold. She won't wear full school uniform either. Usually just a polo and hoody, leggings and school skirt. It's frustrating that she won't wear proper shoes and a coat, but she's 8 now, and this has been pretty consistent in some shape or other since she was 3, so I guess I'm used to it!
I was surprised the timetable worked. Dd is high-functioning, verbal and reasonably able; but crippled by anxiety and her ridigity. Very OCD tendencies. One of her siblings just touched her new t-shirt. I f The undo it this morning shoved down the toilet, another sibling had accidentally pooed on it, toilet flooded with water and poo <sigh>.
I know the timetable isn't a permanent fix, but it feels like these battles are termly, so I hope it lasts us up til christmas.
Hi, saw your message
This sounds very tough for you all to be living with.
We don't use fabric conditioner at all on the children's clothing, which helped with eczema when they were smaller, but DD (also 10) cannot tolerate smells well. (It took forever, and lots of wasted money!! to find anti-perspirant she could tolerate)
How often does he bathe/shower? For some children (dd) clean skin helps her tolerate things better, but for others (my DS) it makes their skin drier and more itchy.
We always have diprobase in, even if they have no eczema patches, and sometimes putting that on helps. (Maybe psychological, goes a long way with dd).
Will try and think of some more in a bit
Thanks is fr getting back to me. See I think there is something in his skin with how often he washes. Have a nightmare to get him in bath/shower but when he's in, he's in ages. I think his skin does also get dry which I know makes skin itchy. The trouble is his skin is mega mega sensitive and most (even eczema creams se mr him off!) what deodorant have you found? Have tried pit rok what ever it's called, a sanex and anther 'natural' one?
DS1 likes the unscented mitchum roll on (though I had to put a sticker with his name over the "for women" bit until he accepted it!). I think Sure might do an unscented alcohol free one.
For fabric conditioner, we use Surcare, which is unfragranced. The M&S sensitive one is identical. They still have all the chemicals in which make fabric conditioner what it is, though. Some people swear by adding white vinegar to the rinse but the only thing it makes a difference to is woollens, IME. We have very hard water so can't get away with nothing. DS1 will gouge himself.
DS2 tends to run himself a lot of baths and the E45 kids bath stuff is nice - creates a few bubbles and soothes his skin when it's irritated. There's a lot of trial and error involved. I had to stop using simple handwash on my own hands because my skin was cracking, yet the garish, highly scented soap that DS1 chose, last time we went into Lush, causes me no problems with my skin or olfactory sensitivities. I'll keep on buying ithe Simple when the pound shop or the likes have it, though, as I can't stand the smell of anything else that he'll use on his hands. I've thrown away countless bottles of hand wash because the smell makes me nauseous!
Both of mine have far worse problems with sensory issues when they are anxious. So for us what works the best is putting in strategies to reduce the anxiety rather than so much the sensory problems themselves. Easier said than done of course.
Thank you both. It's the strategies that I'm struggling with. He gets so upset and wound up. The things that worked a year ago, don't work now? Iv run out of ideas?
We tried all the 'natural' ones, but she couldn't stand anybody them (too scented, or too wet). She has mitchum 48 hour stick, unscented. Works for her. Ditto the number of shampoos we've been through that don't make her scalp itch, or smell too strong She is adamant that as soon as she's grown up she's going to stop using shampoo!
Does he have a weighted blanket? That might help with sleep. I find her issues are more manageable for her when she's slept well, and that is the key to everything for her.
Do they have a breakout space at school where he can go when it's too much? Does he have one at home?
When she was younger we did a visual checklist of what had to be done in the morning and that helped a lot- just pictures of clothes, breakfast, toothbrush, shoes, coat etc.
She also is v driven by routine, so she's had her own clock since v small, and sets alarms for different things so she knows how long she has etc.
No he doesn't have a weighted blanket, sleep is ok, he goes to bed quite early as he gets up early and this is fine.
He doesn't really have one at school but does go to the ASD unit when he needs to and spends each Lunch time there. At home he has his own room and I have created a 'den' under his bed which he likes but doesn't really use it that much.
He can not self regulate on the tablet , I restrict time on it (not before school) and he gets so upset and aggressive when the stupid videos he HAS to watch, end up glitching. Managed to get him in the shower last night, was on there ages when I checked on him he's crying because he's scared of the stupid killer clowns coming. This is the kids at school and I'm waiting to speak to the head. Getting him dressed is so stressful. Every day and it's so so hard.
Today is a no uniform day so I thought it would be easy. He saying all his t shirts are too small (they aren't) he says they are too tight under his arms (they aren't but I appreciate they may feel it to him) bottom half on, then be Sayers crying and saying the waist of trousers are hurting him and annoying him. The same trousers he always wears.... I had to give up work due to his non attendance of school a year ago. Now he's back I have to go back to work and start a new Job after half term and I'm so scared about it due to the trouble o have with him. Iv explained to the new boss and she seems to understand..... For now. I don't understand. No one can help and this is an actual nightmare I don't know what to do any more