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child awkward around own family? (ASD related)

(7 Posts)
Blossom4538 Sat 15-Oct-16 07:53:46

Hi, my little one has various struggles but has recently started making progress at school. However, she is v awkward physically around family members (grandparents etc) - and can't talk directly to them. She has awkward, rigid posture quite often, sometimes slight facial tics and some unusual behaviour. Uncomfortable with physical contact and hugs. They adore her And her them and she sees them frequently. It seems unusual at the age of 5 she still isn't relaxed around them. She has anxiety, selective mutism and poss sensory struggles. Is being assessed for ASD, ADD, social anxiety etc.

The other day when she was dropped home from grandparents, she started licking us.

The other day when i arrived to collect her she looked stiff sat next to my mum and her eyebrows were going a little (tic). She seemed kind of happy and was pleased she had a new cuddly toy off Nanna. She then started sniffing my top!

Also, can be aggressive towards us and attacked me the other day (physically) when I won a board game and she lost.

Anyway, just wondering if anyone else's children are like this around their family :-(

Blossom4538 Sun 16-Oct-16 19:18:21


zzzzz Sun 16-Oct-16 20:14:52

yes. for us it waxes and wanes but it is what it is iykwim.

read about social anxiety (though if you have a SM dx I guess you understand all that)

Ineedmorepatience Sun 16-Oct-16 22:26:32

She may be holding it together as best she can at her grandparents because she does not feel absolutely 100% safe like she does at home.

That would be very hard work for a little girl of 5.

I know this will go against the grain but if I were you I would teach her that its ok to let go and to struggle and that everyone will just deal with it and move on!

My friend and I have 3 autistic girls between us, the older 2 were encouraged to "hold it together" and to "fit in", they both have anxiety and have or have had mental health issues. The youngest was encouraged to be herself and when she had meltdowns we all made a point of telling her that she was doing great telling us that she was sad and we also gave her the vocab she needed when she was struggling. We were accused sometimes of putting words into her mouth but we knew that that was what she needed as she didnt have them herself.

The little one is doing so well at school and in life at 6! She is more than capable of letting people know when she is struggling and her emotional vocab is amazing compared to the older girls!

It may be a difficult thing to get your head around but please, encourage your Dd to be herself and dont praise her for fitting in or seeming "normal" that will not help her in the long run if she has Asd! Try praising her for letting you know that she is struggling instead.

Good luck flowers

zzzzz Sun 16-Oct-16 22:34:21

shock Ineed THANK YOU for that. You have shone a light on something I have been thinking for a long time. flowers

Ineedmorepatience Sun 16-Oct-16 23:00:18

I wasnt sure whether to post it or not to be honest zzzzz but I am glad I did now smile

Blossom4538 Sun 16-Oct-16 23:13:10

Thank you :-)

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