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Advice re getting DC into appropriate clothes(15 Posts)
Posting here but not sure if I am allowed really as DD is undiagnosed.
DD (nearly 6) has an incredibly restricted wardrobe and we struggle to get her in suitable clothing at the best of times, but changes around the seasons are particularly difficult.
Does anyone have any suggestions for how to make this process less unbearable? It's got markedly cooler and I've got such a feeling of dread about it.
Dd3 has pretty much the same wardrobe all yr round she wears a tshirt, stretchy jeans or joggers and a hoody in winter and a tshirt and jogger shorts in summer.
Can you keep it as simple as possible so that the change is minimal, buy mulitples of things she likes and make sure there are no rough seems or labels.
Boden long sleeve tops were excellent for Dd3 when she was 6-10 because they are really soft and have flat seams.
Cotton school cardigans and jumpers are nice, Dd3 liked sainsburys and Next for Jersey school trousers.
Leave new clothes in sight (I hang them on a door) seeing them everyday helps Dd3 to get used to them and not see them as new anymore.
Try not to worry too much, your daughter will be ok for a while in summer clothes.
Can you explain a little what you mean by appropriate clothes?
I really mean clothes that are appropriate for the weather so she will be warm and comfortable. Aside from that, my standards have become very low. Smart and presentable is not on my radar, but 'without holes in' would be nice.
Luckily, we are OK for now with school uniform. She hasn't needed anything new thankfully.
Yy to hanging new clothes in sight but not mentioning them. However the truth is we have not successfully got her in anything new for a very long time, a good year or so.
So it's a question of going over clothes she wore at this time last year, lots of which has been repaired and repaired again
She has said she could wear her summer shorts with tights under, but I need to get some which haven't got holes in. Dreading it.
Sorry for the dreary post. I feel beaten into submission by hosiery
It's a good point Ineedmorepatience, about looking for some better quality stuff in Boden, seen as she's likely to wear it to death.
The trouble is the acceptance rate is so low, I have resisted spending lots in the past. Will have a look online.
Very similar to my ds. I just wanted to check as parents views of acceptable varies!
I tend to buy decent and big, I wash and put in drawers, ds at some point forgets it's new and will try it on. Some things never get worn but I just accept that's how it is.
I am autistic too and tend to wear tthe exact same things year round, perhaps adding warmer socks, a scarf and a cardigan if it's really cold.
Getting underwear/socks/tights right can help a lot and make other clothes more bearable.
Try and work out what it is about those clothes from last year she likes - i.e. Comfy seams, fabrics etc and buy new stuff with those features, in similar colours if you can.
Also if you hit the jackpot and she accepts something go and buy the same thing in duplicate to fit over the next few years whilst it's still in the shops!
I may not be the person to ask as at 10, I am triumphant to have got DS to wear a wardrobe of two identical pairs of trousers, two identical shirts and one denim jacket. Packing for our holiday was dead easy
But at least I can reassure you that you're not alone. All I can recommend is to lower your standards drastically! And be imaginative - summer shorts with tights under sounds a good idea. Can you buy a size up so that next season you have what she likes to wear, but in the right size? This has variable success with DS.
If it's desperate I have in the past just had to go head to head with the aim of getting him into one acceptable garment. Once he's worn it a few times it starts to feel more familiar.
I assume you're an old hand at selecting soft fabrics, washing before first wear, removing all labels?
It's been trickier than one would think to get to the bottom of exactly what the criteria are. I wonder if she really knows herself? Certainly last year's leggings had to be soft, snug (no bagginess or wrinkles) but also plenty long enough. Anything above the ankle bone was a completely no no.
It's a moot point anyway as she won't entertain discussion of leggings just now, but I will leave that for her to turn over in her own mind.
I feel enthused to look into getting some new tights with the aim of extending her current shorts and t-shirt combo by a bit longer.
Can't tell you what a relief it is to hear it's not just us struggling in this way.
Would she wear something on top of the OK clothes?
Does she have very good smell/touch? If so laundering several times helps.
Does she have wobbly ankles? If so support tights might relieve all sorts of other stuff.
Would she wear dress up clothes? Ds was very stuck on shoes at one stage. We played dressing up and that sort of started the process of "other things on your feet".
Dd3 wont accept anything that "fits" her, everything is huge except her jeans which are exceptionally stretchy.
She spends a great deal of time in pyjamas!
Thicker footless tights (we've had some from Boden in the past, flat seams, v soft and stretchy, long) might be good under the shorts.
We've have a similar sounding wardrobe to a few others here: leggings/joggers, t-shirts and hoody on top in winter.
Interestingly we never had a problem with school uniform - all rules followed to the letter
Places like Sensory Smart and Pure Cotton Comfort (aimed at eczema sufferers) are good for tights, undies and base layers.
I ordered 3 pairs of tights online. They fit and she seems to love them! She has yet to wear any of them (except a quick try on), so I'll reserve my celebrations just for now.
Unsure how autumn and winter will be doable when she won't wear trousers, leggings, skirts or dresses. But, tights under her shorts is a great start! Thanks everyone.
Ds2 is 4 yo and has ASD. He had a very restrictive shoes wardrobe for nearly 18 months. He would, regardless of the season, only wear one particular pair of clarks leather shoes. I bought them in four different sizes, as he would accept a new pair of the same shoes, but they had to be the same shoes. So, for him, it wasn't only a comfort thing. He was non verbal and couldn't have communicated the reasons behind it.
We desensitised him to other shoes using ABA. Very, very slowly, he tolerated one shoe being close to him, then putting toes in, then whole foot but no strap, then strap done up, then wearing both, then wearing both for two seconds and working up to him wearing them for a story, then Wearing the, round the house and then outdoors.
We are now at the stage where he will accept canvas shoes, trainers, crocs and leather shoes, all in different colours.
Would the ABA type approach, with rewards, work for your dd?
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