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What do I do?!

(9 Posts)
Lifeisshort123 Sat 10-Sep-16 19:07:12

My 14yr old daughter had a boy around this afternoon. She has never had a boyfriend before and he is 'just a friend' but I'm pretty sure he is her crush or something. My DD has been begging me for days not to embarras her and I don't blame her. I kept the younger ones out of the way and did my best to keep my 15yr old special needs DS out of her way but he wondered into her bedroom without me noticing. Once the boy went home she started shouting at my DS and told me that he had given the boy a hug, had been super embassing and when she asked him to leave he wouldn't. She said that the boy hadn't said anything and said he didn't mind but she's now refusing to talk to anyone?
What do I do, tell DS of?
Tell her to stop overreacting?
I'd really appreciate some other views hmm

Lifeisshort123 Sat 10-Sep-16 19:07:37


Fairylea Sat 10-Sep-16 19:15:50

I think your son provided a very good sex at home deterrent by going into her bedroom grin <sorry>.

I think she is being silly - your teen son with special needs gave him a hug. That's nice. Yes in an ideal world he should give her space and not barge into her bedroom but special needs worlds are rarely ideal. She is being a typical teen in her reaction however. I would just shrug it off and not make a big deal out of it.

Lifeisshort123 Sat 10-Sep-16 19:55:23

I laughed way to hard at the first bit grin

He's got the mental age of a 6yr old according to his specialist so I doubt he'd honestly understand. The special needs world is so far from ideal so is parent life in general. The boy seemed very nice I didn't overreact at all and actually spoke to him and didn't ignore him at all. I don't think I'll make a big thing of it and if she continues I'll tell her to stop overreacting or just simply ignore her. She's finally hitting the teenage stage 😪

Fairylea Sat 10-Sep-16 20:19:18

To be honest I have a teenage girl (13, with no special needs) and EVERYTHING embarrasses them. If it wasn't this, it would be something else. I would see it as a good judge of character that the boy took it well - she wouldn't want to go out with someone who was horrid about people with special needs since she has her brother so she just needs to learn to laugh it off.

My son is 4 and has learning difficulties and asd and there have been lots of times dd has had friends round and he's either been shouting he's done a big poo (in his nappy) or spouting his latest thing that girls "have a Gina and boys have a Willy" hmm (he's proud he's understood it) and dd has learnt to laugh about it and trust that her friends are nice enough to understand.

But yes teenagers are embarrassed by the whole world. smile

Lifeisshort123 Sat 10-Sep-16 20:55:05

I seem to embarrass her no matter what I do, my 5yr old (no special needs) also is going through the shouting willy stage ect haha. I thought the boy took it very well to be fair, he could of reacted very differently I don't understand why she's so annoyed at him. In the past 3/4 weeks she's not been cutting him any slack what so ever but this may be because of this boy. My son is potty trained and was at 7 but he refuses to lock the door or shut it fully which my DD finds super embarrassing. She doesn't tend to invite many friends around really but when she does I always make sure he's downstairs as some of her friends haven't been as accepting. I do my best to not be an embarrassing mum but I've clearly failed grin

Lifeisshort123 Sat 10-Sep-16 20:57:49

I think it's harder for her to laugh it of just simply because he's older and isn't as cute as he was at say 5. She really does need to learn to laugh it of. You're son sounds so cute smile.

CardboardPlastic Sat 10-Sep-16 21:13:35

Maybe big up your DD's (boy)friend to her with regard to how chilled he was about it all. And in turn, tell her she must have good taste in boys! It might frame the incident differently for her...?

Lifeisshort123 Sat 10-Sep-16 22:30:48

Good idea, that could change her mindset!

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