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ASD girls and bras

(18 Posts)
foamybananasweets Sat 10-Sep-16 18:24:35

New username for an old poster

DD has ASD and can be extremely sensory defensive, especially with clothes. We have hit the point where she really needs to wear something on her top half when changing for PE as she is developing, but crop tops and vests cause her a lot of distress. We need to find some way of getting her used to bras as large norks run on both sides of the family and I can't see any alternatives to underwired ones in the long term. Any ideas how to get her through this?

user1471537877 Sat 10-Sep-16 21:15:13

DD 14 is also very sensory she has finally settled wearing the stretchy sports bra type tops, for some reason she likes the strapless bandeau type ones too from primark

zzzzz Sat 10-Sep-16 21:49:53

What about silky material cami as a start?

what does she like the feel of?

Melawati Sat 10-Sep-16 22:20:20

We have seamless sports bra-esque thingies from M&S. DD says she can hardly feel them, they are v soft. The other thing she likes is M&S secret support vests. She won't tolerate being measured and both these options have the advantage of being quite stretchy. No labels or silly fiddly bits either, she hates that!

VioletBam Sun 11-Sep-16 00:28:01

I'm a female adult with ASD and I've never worn a bra. However, I didn't mind vests...and have a small bust. What I would say is that bras are not mandatory and there is new research to suggest that it's absolutely fine in terms of back health to wear no bra at all...ever.

There's a lot of pressure from society re. bras....and how we "mustn't" have a visibly bouncing bust underneath clothing....but while your DD is young, a soft vest would be fine....and if she chooses to go braless when she's fully developed...well that's her choice and fine.

There are seamless vests made from soft fabrics in M&S....if her breast buds are painful, perhaps you could encourage her into one as they do offer some protection from knocks and bumps.

Otherwise what about a t shirt under things?

Incywincyspinster Sun 11-Sep-16 00:41:47

Sports bras from shock absorbers are expensive but much more comfortable and non itchy than standard bras. They do tend to flatten chests tho. It was an autism diagnostician who told me about this.

PolterGoose Sun 11-Sep-16 07:41:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience Sun 11-Sep-16 11:00:43

I struggle with bras too, I do wear sports bras if I am out and about but as soon as I get hom they are off and swapped for a cropped top.

Dd3 has been wearing stretchy sports type bras from primark but she has asked for something ith more support so we are going to have to brave shops at somepoint soon.

foamybananasweets Sun 11-Sep-16 19:17:03

Thanks everyone, it's the stretchy seam free ones she is finding so objectionable. She refuses to wear vests of any kind. She does not like layers of clothing, and I think that's the main problem with the bra tops. She wants to wear them on their own, and I did let her start out that way but it doesn't seem to help.

I'm the opposite. I wear a bra 24/7. They went really perky after breast feeding DD, so I don't want gravity to ruin them grin I don't know how much of my concern is because I feel I spoiled mine when I was younger by going without a bra and I'm trying to help her start off on the right path. I have ASD also and can struggle to see that there is any other way of doing things apart from my way...

The vest tops with hidden support might be a good try, thanks whoever suggested them (sorry, on my phone and it's hard to go back and find who said what)

And I'll keep trying different types of top/bra til I hit on one she finds more bearable than the others.

PolterGoose Sun 11-Sep-16 20:32:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz Sun 11-Sep-16 20:48:14

Bras don't make your boobs perky or keep them perky. I'm guessing what she doesn't like is the material on material grind sensation.

What about badges or sewing to join the two layers.

I'm going to disagree and say if she is likely to be larger then encouraging a bra will really help shoulder pain (especially if she is bendy).

VioletBam Sun 11-Sep-16 23:22:06

It's proven that people who never wear bras have perkier boobs because their muscles are better developed.

zzzzz Mon 12-Sep-16 10:40:33

I'm slightly freaked out at the thought that my children's breast perkiness is in anyway my remitshock

So many many ways to fail them sad

PolterGoose Mon 12-Sep-16 10:44:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

zzzzz Mon 12-Sep-16 10:46:30


VioletBam Mon 12-Sep-16 10:53:16

Zzzzz grin It's not in your remit! All you need to do is provide them with options and support their choices.

zzzzz Mon 12-Sep-16 10:55:58

Providing endless options of support gringringrin


foamybananasweets Mon 12-Sep-16 16:55:44

I will provide as many options for her as I can think of, but she will need support of some kind. I doubt the research witch showed lack of support being beneficial was carried out on people of our family shape (she is looking at an H cup + if she ends up like the rest of us) but as she grows I hope for her back's sake she finds bra's as comfortable as I do.

Thanks again for all the ideas

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