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what to do when dc is having a meltdown

(6 Posts)
Hedgyhoggy Sat 27-Aug-16 22:56:02

Ds is 7 with LD. Big meltdowns are not that often its usually defiance but perhaps once a week he has a huge meltdown, hitting, scratching, biting, hair pulling, screaming and screaming, going for his brother and sister, trying to break thing etc. I usually pick him up take him somewhere away from his siblings and he kind of burns himself out and then like a switch has been turned is back to himself (there is no distracting or talking him round). However, he is just getting too big and strong! I ache all over after tonight's episode and they just seem to be lasting for longer (1 hr tonight). He is very resistant to being held during this. How do I protect him, his siblings and myself? Thanks

Hedgyhoggy Sun 28-Aug-16 21:16:57

Bump ...please

Kleinzeit Sun 28-Aug-16 21:23:00

Didn't want to read and run... could you take everyone else out of the room and leave DS to self-calm? I was never able to do much about my DS's tantrums/meltdowns apart from leave him alone to calm himself down. Anything I did only added fuel to the fire. I was able to do some prevention and sometimes I could see he was starting to get agitated and grumpy and just do my darndest to get us home safe before the lid blew off! Sorry if that's not much help flowers

Igglepigglehadasplat Mon 29-Aug-16 17:37:02

Needs to be on his own and the other children need to stay away. Time is the only thing that I ever find helpful. My DC will usually go to his own room when asked firmly enough even if he is not capable of responding to anything else

OneInEight Tue 30-Aug-16 09:41:30

Prevention. Prevention. Prevention. Particularly as child gets older.

Try and work out his triggers. Minimize these when he is stressed. Try and gradually increase tolerance when not stressed.

But when they happen.

Have a safe space where he can cause minimaldamage to himself or others or property. Maybe bedroom. Maybe garden. Maybe shed. Have cushions or something he can throw safely around to work out the anguish or paper to rip up or whatever works for him/

Try and avoid restraint. Mine are very touch sensitive in meltdown and all it does is escalate things. Not always possible I know but try and work out ways beforehand to avoid this.

Social stories / role play to teach your son what you will do when he has a meltdown. It is very frightening for the child and anything you can do to keep the stress down will be helpful.

Distraction helps for mine but only when they are coming out of one. Music or in ds1's case radio 4! Too early and it can antagonise things.

Go on a course to learn ways to stop your child hurting you e.g.there are techniques to stop your child pulling your hair or biting that are pretty effective and do not hurt the child. Autism West Midlands runs ones but probably other charities as well.

Hedgyhoggy Tue 30-Aug-16 10:09:09

Thank you so much for your advice I'm working on putting it all into action. I really like the idea of a safe place where he can throw things around and tear stuff up. My one gap in the plan is how do you get your dc to that place when he seems intent on showing you just how angry and frustrated he is. At the moment I have huge difficulty in guiding him or moving him when he is upset. Also, I think I'm pretty good at prevention, there are situations which could lead to a meltdown happening everyday but that are avoided but I do feel that I'm walking on egg shells. Maybe I'm not doing such a good job of prevention because I find my self willing his siblings from not doing or saying things because I know it will lead to issues...and these are completely normal things for a family to say and do ie. Big brother says can we go to the park later. Which we can do but ds doesn't get the later bit, just hears park and wants to go now. Thanks all

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