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Why is it still always a shock when your concerns are confirmed?

(7 Posts)
EwanWhosearmy Sat 27-Aug-16 11:04:14

DD is 9. She has ADHD, dyspraxia and a lot of Sensory Processing issues. We realised this year that she is also dyslexic. SENCO agreed she shows all the signs but says it isn't worth getting her tested. Work colleagues who either are or have DC who are dyslexic have advised getting her tested.

Came across a free dyslexia screening test on line this morning on a US site. Sat her down to do it. At the end it flagged up that although she is reading real words at her age level, her decoding accuracy on pretend words is only 35%.

Now I was pretty sure she has dyslexia but it hit me like a ton of bricks seeing this result in black & white on the screen. I went through all this when I was convinced she had ADHD and then it was confirmed. Why is it a shock when you already know?

Anyone understand this?

AntiquityAgain Sat 27-Aug-16 13:42:32

Absolutely. Ds2 had all signs of autism, I'd given the GP a highlighted copy of the autism toddler screening, I printed out an in depth development and behaviour document for the paediatrician. I'd asked on here and even got yes definitely answers. And that first paediatrician report, I can still see in my head, said preliminary diagnosis: autism. I cried my eyes out in shock.

Looking back I think it was part hope, you want to be proved wrong. As much as diagnosis means more understanding, more support etc and you want it for that, who wants their child to have something that makes life more difficult for them. And I think part is you're just used to your own child and until you have to detail this whole list of things you just don't go around thinking my child is X or y.

EwanWhosearmy Sat 27-Aug-16 14:50:12

Thanks for replying, yes I think you are right when you say you want to be proved wrong. Awful, isn't it.

FlemCandango Sat 27-Aug-16 15:48:43

Having gone through the diagnosis process twice now with ds and dd1, it has got a little easier. With dd we were really not prepared to be told that she was autistic, we thought dyspraxia but once I read more and learned about how girls present differently I understood. It is a shock and a process of retuning the way I parent, my expectations and how we plan for the future. It has been a very good thing I now understand dd and ds better and I have found parenting easier now, I have adjusted the way I behave in a subtle way. But all that said it is hard, I do worry and i feel very protective of them and stress about how they will cope with the teenage years.

So I totally understand how you feel. Having a diagnosis confirmed means it is not a phase, they will not grow out of it and they will have obstacles to deal with as they grow up. But that awareness is a good thing and there are things we can do to help them.

EwanWhosearmy Sat 27-Aug-16 21:54:14

DD is our 5th child, and 2 of the others have SEN. Somehow it still doesn't make it any easier, even when we've been here before.

SecretSpy Sat 27-Aug-16 21:57:30

We've been seeing a paed for a year or so. Most recent letter was the first time a document states ' autism traits' all over it. Still felt kicked in the bollocks even though I know he has them and that's why I sought the referral.

Hedgyhoggy Sat 27-Aug-16 22:17:00

I met up with a friend I hadn't seen for 12 months, my son is 7 with ld. She asked me how he was doing and said, 'its not as obvious as it used to be'. Nothing wrong with what she said, she's lovely but having spent such a long time thinking, can people tell, does he stick out as being different? it made me feel a little inexplicably cross. Like why hasn't she told me before. Not sure if that makes sense, but it shocked me to have his difficulties affirmed

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