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Yr5 and has to wear a shirt and Tie! Anyone been able to fight uniform policy?

(14 Posts)
MaddyHatter Sat 27-Aug-16 10:02:26

DS has Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia and Sensory processing disorder (and Anxiety)

At his school the uniform changes between yr4 and yr5. He has to go from soft collar polo shirts to proper shirts and a full neck tie.

I'm not exactly happy about this for several reasons
He struggles with buttons, getting these shirts on and off are going to be difficult.
He hates anything rubbing his neck
I'm concerned because of his chewing/fidgeting that he will throttle himself with the tie, or destroy it.

The shirt issue i've tried to get around by buying him some of the new M&S easy wear shirts that have 3 buttons and the rest is velcro.

The other issues are what have me most concerned.

Has anyone ever successfully argued for their child not to wear a tie?

MaddyHatter Sat 27-Aug-16 10:03:18

sorry, should say throttle himself with it during his meltdowns.

cansu Sat 27-Aug-16 12:14:58

I would write explaining the reasons why he is unable to wear the tie. Explain you have bought the special shirts. Rather than ask permission I would inform them of it nicely.

NotMe321 Sat 27-Aug-16 12:23:55

Is he getting OT for his sensory and motor problems? Could you get the therapist to do a letter explaining why he will not be able to cope with this?

Logically ties are very peculiar garments and it seems mad making schoolchildren wear them when they have nothing whatsoever to do with their learning. My DS really struggled with long sleeves which was problematic because his secondary school had a thing about children wearing their sweatshirts. Fortunately the majority of the teachers were sensible and didn't bother to enforce it. If any of them raised it with me, I asked how it impacted on his ability to work and learn. The best any of them could come up with was that they had to enforce the rules, so I suggested that rules that don't serve any purpose really need to be withdrawn, not enforced. Again, they never took it any further.

Olympiathequeen Sat 27-Aug-16 12:51:59

If all else fails maybe convert the tie to a clip on? Or Velcro on?

BittyWanter Sat 27-Aug-16 12:53:46

I'd have thought the school would make an exception for your DS.

Have you spoken to them about it?

SirVixofVixHall Sat 27-Aug-16 13:04:51

Clip on tie. My dds school has these as standard anyway as they think they are "smarter" hmm . They can't leave them half-undone I suppose. Maybe suggest to the school that they either have a clip-on as an option or as standard seeing as they are all still Primary age. Then your son won't look different to anyone else, which could make him a bullying target.

MaddyHatter Sat 27-Aug-16 22:36:08

there is an optional clip on tie for reception and yr 1&2, those in yrs 3&4 who opt into wearing a tie, and 5&6 for whom its compulsory, have to wear the proper one.

i have considered taking my scissors and adapting it into a clip on though.

SecretSpy Sat 27-Aug-16 22:39:23

Similar here, going into year 3 and changing from polos to shirt and clip on tie. Sensory issues. I've already pre-warned the SENCO that we'll try, but if he doesn't tolerate it, he won't be wearing. They are absolutely fine with it, imho it's a 'reasonable accommodation'

zzzzz Sat 27-Aug-16 22:56:00

You can't tell if it is ready tied or a "proper tie". Tell school he will be wearing one on a piece of elastic as a reasonable adjustment and that you have purchased special shirts to help him be as independent as possible. Stress that you expect their support in this and that if there are any issues with it they MUST be addressed to you.

They will allow it.

I have never (that I can think of) been refused any adjustment that where it is obvious that we are trying to be helpful.

SauvignonBlanche Sun 28-Aug-16 12:10:10

DS' (state) primary school had them in ties from Reception! They were on elastic though. On PE days I just sent DS in a polo shirt as I knew he'd never manage.

enterthedragon Sun 28-Aug-16 16:37:39

Keep on spouting the phrase "reasonable adjustments" and "the equality act 2010"until you can come to a compromise.

If you fear that he will strangle himself then they have to take your fears seriously.

Odwyerkellie Thu 17-Aug-17 19:29:14

Has anyone altered their child's tie so it can be elasticated? I've seen a video on YouTube where a lady ties the necktie to a neck band, similar looking to a bra strap. I am wanting to do this for my son's tie but can't seem to source one on the internet, not knowing the proper name for it doesn't help. Is anyone able to advise please?
Thanks in advance

zzzzz Thu 17-Aug-17 22:05:15

Just tie the tie like normal, then cut straight through he back of the neck, take a couple of inches off each cut end and sew 4 inches of elastic back in to replace the bit you removed, finally hand sew a few bits through the knot to hold it in place.

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