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ASD/ADHD DD says she will not return to school after the summer - help!

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anothermadamebutterfly Sun 14-Aug-16 12:49:22

This summer, about a week after finishing year 8, my DD started begging me to let her move school, and she now says that under no circumstances will she return to the school she was at.

At present she attends (attended?) a mainstream school. She has done OK academically, and had good reports from the teachers who have taught her last year (we have no worries about that at the moment), but the SENCO and us have never quite clicked, and we find it difficult to get any clarity about what support (if any) my DD gets at school or to arrange meetings. We have never seen any documentation about any information the school has on our DD's in terms of assessments and reports, etc. in spite of several requests (e.g. apparently she was assessed by the external Communication and Autism Team in year 7 but we never saw any report or feedback).

Over the holidays my DD has relaxed and seems much happier than she was all last year. I do not at the moment want to send her back to the school in the autumn as I do not feel it is doing her any good emotionally, and I cannot see that we will be able to resolve any issues with the school (also, my DD intensely dislikes the SENCO).

DD does not have an EHCP, and in theory should not really need one - she is OK in class (she takes meds for the ADHD and has made good progress). However, she does need some support to help her with emotional issues and friendships, etc., which she finds very difficult. Also, I think she would benefit from more understanding for sensory issues - e.g. she cannot deal with the school canteen as it is too much for her, but the school refuses to acknowledge this, so there is nowhere quiet for her to go to eat. In the summer this is OK because loads of kids eat outside in the playground, but in the winter it seems she eats alone outside while the others eat inside, which is simply not OK.

I was wondering whether anybody here has any advice or has experienced a similar situation? If she refuses to return to school, then what are our options? Homeschooling is not a long-term option for us (and also, DD says she wants to go to school, just to a different one). Would the LA have to find a place for her? Would they have to take her wishes into consideration?

Thanks!

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