Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
Dealing with 3 year olds anger(77 Posts)
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Haven't got lots of time at the moment and skimmed your post but a few things jumped out
Sensory ? Have a look at sensory problem that could set him off?
Also once we stopped doing the who super nanny approach of naughty corner etc and realised this was not working and making things worse we got a much better grip of the problem. You will prob make him worse and raise anxiety doing this. You will have to grow thick skin but that sort doesn't work and other ways do. The explosive child is a great book.
You have come to the right place as I don't have rl people either and there are some fab people on here so keep asking!
Sorry I don't have time to post more extensively but this sounds identical to my son at age 3. We did get an ASD diagnosis at 4.5 and now he is 6 and is amazing. Challenges are still there but those dark and very very angry days are behind us. One of the most helpful things for us was to bring his iPad everywhere. If noticed the rumbling signs brewing I would let him have it and he would retreat into his own world and space (especially helpful in a busy place) and this helped bring things down a level and reduce the likelihood of a meltdown. Randomly we had our worst recent meltdown after a day trip that he really loved. He got home and we had 90 minutes of crying and throwing and anger. He was just overwhelmed by his enjoyment or stimulation from the fun trip.
I would second giving the MChat a go.
And we used a buggy till he was 4. Massively helpful.
It is definitely sounding like you may need to see some professionals.
Can I ask are you scared of a diagnosis or don't want him to have one?
I'm here if you need to talk
How does he interact with other children? Does he want to be in control of play? Does he get angry if another child interferes with his game? Does he hit or push over other kids? Do other parents get annoyed with you or him? Does he have any sensory issues such as problems with the feel of clothes or with having a limited diet? If he does, I'd be thinking about the possibility of ASD - It isn't always obvious at his age.
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