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Feeling sad for my Daughter and me

(1 Post)
Albaba Fri 17-Jun-16 18:41:19

I am feeling sad for my dd and for me. She is 4, goes to mainstream preschool and has cp, diplegia affecting lower limbs only. She has a twin who is "normal" I think when we are in our own house and our own environment I think she is doing well and making progress. Today we had an end of term event in her preschool. Compared to all the other children it was obvious that she was miles behind the other children and she would be one of the older ones in her class. She was very reliant on her classroom assistant and while all the others joined in and sang she just sat there for a vacant expression on her face and looked lost.

They are one of three sets of twins in their class, the other two perfectly normal and healthy. Today I felt quite emotional and weepy about it that they had what I thought I had and what I should have. I feel it isolates me too. I am not the most outgoing and confident of people at the best of times but it makes me different too as none of the rest of them have to deal with the crap that we do like appointments, statements dla etc. I don't talk to people about her condition. I bury my head in the sand and pretend everything is normal and ok when I'm sure it is perfectly obvious that it is not.

I thought probably naively that it would get less noticeable as she got older but this is not the case. She is due for primary school in September and I am so worried for her moving to a new environment with new children and a class that has nearly double the amount of children that she is used too. I felt growing up very lonely and very much on the outside of things and I can see the same thing for her as she won't interact or engage with other children. I know especially girls form wee groups and can be bitchy too. I know I have been there.

Sorry this has turned into a bit of an essay. When I was pregnant none of this even entered my head that I would have a child with a disability. It just feels very cruel and unfair especially in a set of twins that I have a direct comparison of what my dd should be like.

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