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I'm so so so upset

(12 Posts)
DorothyL Fri 13-May-16 09:20:12

Ds's teacher called me in this morning - ds has started to grab other children between the legs in the cloakroom. Children have complained to the teacher and one parent has been in. She said she wanted me to speak to ds and play it down for now because it would become a safeguarding issue otherwise.

I quickly spoke to ds because he wanted to know, but he then wanted to go in and seemed confused.

I'm terrified what the safeguarding thing means. There is 100 % no way ds might have been exposed to anything inappropriate, no idea why he's doing it.

He has a statement and a one -to -one until lunchtime. What role should the school play in this?

DorothyL Fri 13-May-16 09:28:42


PolterGoose Fri 13-May-16 09:35:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DorothyL Fri 13-May-16 09:40:21

Thank you

DorothyL Fri 13-May-16 09:44:22

I feel so upset how the teacher approached this, yes it's nice she wants to play it down but surely him having one-to-one means they should play some part?

PolterGoose Fri 13-May-16 09:48:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

determinedmumof2 Fri 13-May-16 10:41:11

If the touching only happens in the clock room, I would ask the school if alterative arrangement could be made. When my ds was in y1 he used to hit children in the clock area, his teacher gave him a box on the other side of the classroom to put his thing in he has done this for the last 5 years, a simple adjustment makes a huge difference. Or may be a social story.

zzzzz Fri 13-May-16 10:41:30

She may want to play it down but frankly I would not. Innapropriate behaviour has the potential to seriously impact outcomes for children with additional needs. They need to protect HIM from the consequences of their lack of supervision. With 1:1 there should be NO opportunity for him to be able to do this more than once and certainly not to the point of another parent complaining. Why? Because 1:1 should have reported the first instance, a working plan put in place and the other parents informed by school, that all was in hand. angry

So NO CT "playing it down" benefits absolutely no one.

LAZY! angry

DorothyL Fri 13-May-16 11:13:45

It was just yet another incidence of me feeling utterly alone sad

DorothyL Fri 13-May-16 13:21:01

So I spoke to the teacher, pointing out I should have been told sooner and that ds shouldn't be in a position to display his behaviour. At first she said it was difficult because he has no one-to-one in the afternoon, but then she agreed to put measures in place. Do you think I should talk to the senco as well?

zzzzz Fri 13-May-16 14:04:29

I think you should email confirming what she agreed to put in place and asking her to email you back if there is any further concern or if there is anything you can do to support them wink because then it is all dated and in writing

ChowNowBrownCow Fri 13-May-16 14:47:51

I totally agree that this should NOT be played down. It highlights several flaws on their part. 1) when was the first incident reported 2) this is not something you 'have a word about', schools have solid procedures for dealing with it 3) lack of supervision meant this has happened ,as it has happened before 4) safeguarding - she mentioned this for a reason. I would insist my child is safeguarded and that they have not safeguarded the other children as its happened more than once.
The thing is Dorothy, news can spread fast amongst mums after school, you don't want your child to be isolated or yourself even more because they have not followed through on a duty of care. He maybe just doing it for a reaction, lots of children do, but he needs to know that this is not ok. Yes, do contact the Senco. Also, ask if this has been written in their incidents book. Also, ask for immediate 'reasonable adjustments' to be made. What measures will she put in place? As zzzz says ask for 'clarification' that is put in writing. Use the term 'when you spoke to me.........please can I confirm that I understand xyz is being done. How best can I support the school on this'. cover yours and ds backs. PS. this is not your fault.

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